Abusive Appliances

August 21st, 2016

*I am dealing with appliance abuse. I’’ve been dealing with it for years but was too ashamed to tell anyone. Now that we are moving, the abuse has escalated,– especially when they discovered I wasn’’t taking them with me to the new home. The weeping, wailing and gnashing of gears is getting on my nerves.

appliance washer broken

Appliance Abuse is when the dishwasher balks at cleaning the dishes and attempts to take over the kitchen because you dared to hand-wash a bowl on your own. Anarchy! You find yourself holding hostage negotiations with the appliance in an attempt to placate its hurt feelings.

How do you talk publicly about the heartache when the DVD player holds your favorite oldie movie hostage in an attention-getting coup? You try to negotiate a peace treaty. It refuses to believe you understand its programming needs. You talk to no avail; it promptly eats your DVD, refusing to open the door.

Then “IT” happens. The oven goes on strike in the middle of baking a cake, the night before hubby’’s office party. Why? Because it is jealous of your previous relationship with the microwave you had at work. It sulks, putting no heat out.

Some people believe the washing machine is the worst offender because it eats one sock and leaves you the other sock to console because its mate has disappeared. What do you say to a mate-less sock?

I am here to tell you the truth. It isn’’t the washing machine, it is the clothes dryer. Mine mocked me. It told me that God had taken my socks’ mates to heaven because they were so hole-y. I know, I know. Is that a cruelty beyond believing, or what?

The telephone began to join in the Abuse. It would ring and voices would come out the other end saying things like, “”Yes, I know, but what do you do all day?” “Remember what it was like when you used to work?”” And my favorite, “”Well, why can’’t you do this or go to or help with __________ (fill in the blank) for me? You have time. It’’s not like you have a real job or anything.””

Oh, and you haven’t lived until you’’ve been ignored by your beloved microwave. I believe of all the types of Appliance Abuse, this one hurts the most. I thought we had a special relationship. The microwave knows I totally depended on it to reheat all those cups of tea that got cold while dealing with other chaos in the house.

And sure, the bread machine committed suicide in the middle of an electrical storm -– how was I to know it needed unplugging? Now the juicer holds a grudge against me and never lets me forget that the suicide of the bread machine was my fault. Is there to be no forgiveness?

The hair dryer curses me every morning because I no longer have time to use it. I no longer have that executive hair cut that requires early morning high maintenance. A hair dryer in withdrawal is an ugly sight. I begin to feel responsible for all the appliances,– which is right where they want me,– loaded down in guilt.

So here I am typing my woe, trying to ignore the printer telling me in that dominating male voice to “please load paper in the paper feeder”. While he does thank me,– which is way more than I can say about the other appliances,– I cannot believe I am reduced to talking to my printer.

Now they have discovered we are moving– and most of them aren’’t coming with us. The crying is keeping me up at night. I need help. How can I explain to them that there are appliances where I am going without destroying their self-esteem and hurting their feelings? I don’’t want them to commit suicide before I move. I NEED them to keep working.

No. What I really need is a Special Forces Support team to slip in and dispatch these whiny babies and their unholy control over my life. Then I need chocolate. Lots and lots of… stop! Get away from me. Wait! What are you doing? No!! You can’t do tha….

.

*This is an older post from way back in 2009. Since then I got rid of the pesky microwave and reheat in a pot on the stove. The appliances in this house heard about what happened to those other abusive ones. These toe the line and will not get out of line. They know. They know what will happen to them.

The Ways of True Love

July 31st, 2016

heart arrow

So… I’ve receive questions about my relationship with Alpha Hubby.  And yes, it is true that sometimes I have to pinch myself to realize that after 22 years, 4 months and 27 days, our relationship is even better than in the beginning.

It is more honest, spicier, richer, deeper, better, blah blah, on and on ad nauseam.  So today I am going to share a little bit of True Love Ways – what we’ve done (and do) that keeps our relationship cool enough to make people gag.  I know you want to know. Heh heh.

**First and foremost, True Love makes the decision that the word “divorce” is never to be uttered. Why? Because is is NOT an option. I don’t care how snowy it may get in the house, how many icicles grow from the chilliness in the room, DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION. Period. We take the words “for better or worse” very, very seriously.

You’d be surprised how that changes things. When you know divorce is not an option, you absolutely have to kiss and makeup, work things out, never walk away, stick with one another – PERIOD.  It makes working things out much easier and besides, most of our frosty days are far behind us.  NO going to bed angry.

Enjoying each other's company

Enjoy One Another’s Company

**Sometimes we unwittingly allow other things to steal our time away from one another.

True Love realizes that when you have a loved one’s time, it is a gift. It is to be treasured, valued.  You quickly get things back on track.  It makes your relationship richer when you value one another.

tango dance

**Sometimes we might have to face that relationships can be a battlefield. But it is not supposed to be the two of you against one another. It is the two of you against the world.

True Love realizes that you must battle outside forces to keep the two of you faced outwardly, together. Against all obstacles – work, in-laws, friends, children, troubles.  If this slips, True Love is quick to forgive and forget, and move on.  It really is you and them against the world.

couple gazing

Focus!

**Sometimes it is important that all the focus be on the other person for a time.  Sometimes you have to set yourself on a back burner for the other person’s needs to be met. Give and take. People say a relationship is 50-50. This is a lie. A good one is 100-100 percent, both working 100 percent toward making it work and good. Then if one needs a bit more from the other, there is no deficit.

True Love isn’t “me, me, me” and “me first.” If you work together, it becomes “us, us, us” and “us first” even if one needs more lovin’ than at other times.

**Sometimes one of us makes a mistake and has to say, “I’m sorry.” (It’s usually me.)  I usually pull a Fonzie trying to say wrong – “I was wrrr. I was wrrrrr. I was not exactly right.”

True Love is fast to say “I was wrong” and True Love also accepts an apology with grace.  True Love never keeps score and never says, “Well, you should be sorry.” And True Love says:  “I’m sorry” (period, no reasons or excuses) instead of “I’m sorry BUT…”.  Or says “I’m sorry I hurt you” not “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt.” Huge difference there.

hear no evil

hear see speak no evil

**Sometimes there may be times when one mate may seem “less than perfect” or “less than the dream guy/gal you married” or might even screw up somehow and show he/she is a human being.  That’s when you: hear, see and speak no evil.

True Love always, always expects and looks for the best in the other.  True Love cuts some slack.  True Love ignores anything it needs to and never points out a fault. You know why? Because you expect the same from them when YOU are not perfect.

For sure, True Love is patient and knows one must face that they themselves are -*sigh*- not perfect either.  Do not focus on perceived bad points!  Truly hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.

gossip women

gossiping = destruction

**True Love NEVER talks to their girlfriends (or dude buds) about their loved one.  Never, never, ever.  Get me? NEVER. You have no idea how much damage you do when you go outside your marriage like that.  It is a betrayal.

**Sometimes we have to face that we may hurt one another.  There may be tears (me) or growling (him).

True Love forces oneself to realize that the other never meant to hurt, nor is it on purpose.  True Love faces that one might be having a snit fit ’cause one got ones feelings hurt and one needs get over it.  One is not telling who this one is.

beach seduction

Seduction

**Sometimes we get a bit busy and miss some… umm, shall we say, personal time?

True Love makes sure the most important focus in your life is your mate.  Above all others.  True Love quickly gets back on track and makes sure that the personal time meter is running into overtime (I’m talking s#x here folks!). NO excuses. No, zip, nada, nyet, zilch, Seduce one another often.

Probably, with the exception of this last point coming up, our personal burn-up-the-sheets and boil-the-water-in-the-swimming-pool time is our most important detail in keeping our marriage growing better and better.  Never, ever losing the intimacy.

couple hands bible

Most Important

**Last and most importantly in and to our relationship is that we never forget that above all and always, God is #1 in our relationship with one another.  There are three in the marriage and that is truly what makes it what it is.

True Love knows where True Love comes from. And protects it in honor of The One Who put you together.

.

What Is In A Face?

June 29th, 2016
couple contrast

Couples in Contrast

I remember when I was younger and a friend and I saw an “older” couple walking down the street holding hands, I thought “Aww, how sweet” and she was grossed out. She didn’t believe it was appropriate for old people (they were probably in their 50’s!) to act like that. She thought they should keep those public displays of affection to themselves, at home.  I wonder what she thinks now, years later?

So many times youth judge older people harshly, thinking they themselves will be young forever. Sometimes that is the one thing we like about getting a bit older – you know it will happen to everyone, even snot nosed young people!

Apple Dolls

Apple Dolls

I’m talking getting older through numbers, not aging.  Aging is actually a choice or default, not a set-in-stone fact. It is a choice as in, you choose to accept aging or feeling less than 100 percent; to accept aches and pains as normal and to give up or begin to think it’s “too much work!” to work against it.

Or can be a default as in, if you don’t make a decision, one will be made for you.  If you don’t take care of yourself your body and mind default to aches, pains, wrinkled skin, thinning hair, weight gain, thinking that it is normal or genes (tell that to Oleda Baker a beautiful 81 year old former model, below).

oleda baker 48 and 81

Oleda Baker 48 (L) and 81 (R)

As I began researching longevity, I studied things I could do to stay healthy and active, keeping my joints fluid, maintaining my skin, etc. What I learned astonished me. We have been sold a bill of goods that says “You must have these symptoms as you get age; it is a fact of life.”  LIE!

In case you doubt me, look at these pictures below (click to enlarge) – pay very careful attention (there is a reason):

1

80+ Woman

What we think 80 looks like

2-3

Daphne Selfe 83

Daphne Selfe 83

Daphne Selfe 83

Daphne Selfe 83

4-5

Christopher-Plummer

Christopher Plummer 80+

Christopher-Plummer

Christopher Plummer 82

6-7

Carmen Dell’Orefice, 82

Carmen Dell’Orefice, 82

Carmen Dell’Orefice 1 82 crop

She does admit to some work. Who cares?

8-9

Sister Madonna Buder

Sister Madonna Buder 82

Iron Nun Sister Madonna Buder

Iron Nun Sister Madonna Buder 82

10

Joyce & Authur George

Joyce & Authur George
(89 and 91)

11-12

Joyce Carpati 84 2016

Joyce Carpati 84 2016

Joyce Carpati 82 2014

Joyce Carpati 82 2014

13

Earl Cameron 96

Earl Cameron 96

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Ready for what they all have in common?

The last time I did something like this for you, most of the people were in their 50’s and 60’s.  So did you notice what all these beauties had in common?  THEY ARE ALL 80 YEARS OLD OR OLDER

The first picture is close to what most people think eighty (80) should look like.  The rest?  Oh my gosh they are amazing people, full of life, still agile, still functioning in society, still beautiful or handsome, still working, and still taking care of themselves.  And most importantly, none of them badmouth themselves. They don’t tell “OLD” jokes. They talk energy. They talk life. They talk doing, being and thinking strong.

So you ask what this post is about?  If you are in your 20’s, 30′, 40’s START NOW.  It will be so much easier on you in your latter years.  You can live a long and productive – and beautiful – life if you plan for it.  It isn’t random. Every one of the real people above took care of themselves in one way or another.

And if you are over 40, it’s not too late to start taking excellent care of yourself instead of falling for the default. You know the one – where you joke about being or getting old, where you moan and groan and accept that you are supposed to feel old.  Where your mouth will undermine anything you try to do toward longevity.

As Carmen Dell’Orefice said, “…nothing on the outside is going to make a blind bit of difference unless you take care of the inside.”

But if you don’t also take care of the outside, then you will look like those apple dolls above – and we KNOW none of us really wants to look like that.

Research longevity.  If you’re even going to live what some think is normal – 80+ years – how do you want to live it?  Do you want to be in a wheelchair with your knees hurting and your mind wandering or gone?  Most of us will reach 80 (and beyond) but how you reach it and what shape you’re in is totally your choice.

Pay attention to what you’re saying.  Moisturize that face and decollete. Laugh a lot. Enjoy life. Dance in the rain and jump in water puddles. Begin to focus on longevity and make plans. You have all those above roll models (and believe me, there are far more) that prove you can live a long, strong, vital, and healthy life – and be beautiful while doing it!

What’s in a face?  Well that, my darlinks, is totally up to you.

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1 = Random picture of 80 year old women

2-3 = Daphne Selfe, age 85 – called “World’s Oldest Supermodel”

4-5 = Christopher Plummer, age 84, oldest Actor to win Academy Award

6-7 = Carmen Dell’Orefice, age 84, current model (she is the only one who has had “a little work done”)

8-9 = The Iron Nun Sister Madonna Buder, age 84  The 82-year-old `Iron Nun` who has completed over 340 triathlons – almost one every month for 30 years AND didn’t start until she was 48.

10 = Joyce and Arthur George, ages 89 and 91, still teaching amateur roller skaters

12 – Earnestine Shepherd – turned 81 2016; Oldest winning bodybuilder

13-14 = Joyce Carpati  (or Yahoo article), age 84 = splits her time between Paris and New York and still works as a beauty consultant

13 – Earl Cameron, 96, One of first Black actors in UK television and film, and still active.

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Father’s Day From The Dark Side: He’s Got Rope

June 16th, 2016
Feeding cows cropped

Feeding Cows in Snow

So… a Father’s Day blog about Alpha Hubby. I say “dark side” because we aren’t that couple who still have kids at home. We’re on the other side. No more pacifiers and much more stockings, garters and rope (smile).

Alpha Son has been out of the house a few years now. We see him often enough to enjoy him (and his beautiful wife) but the paradigm shifted. It became afun, fun, fun ’til her daddy takes the T-bird awaaaaaay nekkid house!!”  Sorry.

Whos your daddy

Now Alpha Hubby is an amazing father. But he isn’t my daddy (yeah, yeah Hon, I know “who’s my daddy, now” – and you know that’s not what I’m talking about). Anyway, he isn’t MY daddy.

One thing we talked about when we were getting to know one another after our whirlwind meet-greet-marriage was that we didn’t want to get on the other side of raising Alpha Son and be like so many other couples who live separate lives in the same house. Or wondering who that stranger is sitting across the table, without kids to run interference between us.

I waited so dog-goned long for him to swoop down and scoop me up and set me atop his white steed while he was wearing his knightly shining armour, that I didn’t want to waste time simply being a mom. I’d been a mom. A single mom. For 11 years. I loved (and love) being a mom. But.

Intimate couple of man and woman posing behind the milk glass

After Alpha Hubby and I married, I wanted a lover first ’cause you know that saying? No? Well I’ll tell you:

“The most important thing a father can do for his children
is love their mother.”

Theodore Hesburgh, American Priest

So we talked. We talked about our needs, desires, wants, hopes, and dreams, and how we can help one another fulfill them. He talked about the importance of rendezvous, fooling around, carnal knowledge, making out, heavy petting, necking – all synonyms for a word I won’t type because spammers hit my blog like crazy with nastiness if I do – but it ends in an “x”.

Couple beach seduction

Suffice it to say, those rendezvous were – and are – very important to him (and most men, if they are honest). Very, very, very, very, very important. Because you know what? He didn’t marry a mother (even though I was one). He married a woman he was attracted to, in love with, and wanted.

So we set the parameters of our relationship, most importantly that we came first, then parenting came after that. If we didn’t protect the “we” then the parenting kind of gets messed up, too.

Couple Sexy Feet

And after all these years, I know one thing for sure. As long as Alpha Hubby knows he is #1 in my life, all is well in our home.

It may be Father’s Day but he is still a man, one that is desired, wanted, loved, and cherished. Intimacy is an area that we feel we need to continue to grow in so it never gets stagnant. It is so vital to the health of our relationship. It is so vital to his (a man’s) feeling of love from his woman.

The important point for Father’s Day is to remember to keep that intimacy on the front burner no matter what else is going on in our life. Moos and all.

Alpha Hubby and I were chatting about intimacy awhile back. We are always chatting. One of our favorite topics to talk about is intimacy. Any form. Talking about talking about it. Talking about increasing it. Talking about doing it. Talking about protecting it. Talking about likes and dislikes. Talking.

So I asked jokingly, “So, what if I’m not in the mood?”

He swiftly replied, “I’ve got rope, baby.”

Bondage

He does. It’s red. It was a Father’s Day present a few years back.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY.  Guess what gift Alpha Hubby is getting… more of?

Dad cropped twice

My dad passed away in 2004. I still miss him but he’s dancing in heaven with mom now!

Do You Really See Him? Part 1

May 21st, 2016

So the other day Alpha Hubby came in for lunch. We had lunch then, we suddenly decided to dash to the bedroom for some Afternoon Delight. We hadn’t done that in awhile. We giggled, smiled at one another, laughed, looked at one another like we had a secret, and felt like newlyweds the rest of the day.

What helps keep a marriage hot, focused and wonderful after years together? I don’t know (smile). I can only tell you what works for us, and in this case, what he needs.

tango touch

Alpha Hubby has always expressed the need to know I “see” him – that I am not distracted by the computer, housework, writing, children, friends, etc.  Of course, I need to know he “sees” me, too. That he’s not just hearing “blah blah blah” in the background when I talk. Both require focus but this post is about him – is my focus on him first?

Oh, no growling.  I hear some of you thinking “What about MY needs?”  Well, what about them?  You reap what you sow.  You put everything ahead of him, including the children (and yes, we were like this when Alpha Son was at home), then eventually you “reap” that. Put things ahead of him and he may lose interest and put things ahead of you – work, hobbies, sports,*ahem* other women. 

No, I’m not saying all men (or women) will do this – but we ARE talking about keeping the marriage hot, right?

SuperKid2

When I asked Alpha Hubby about this the other day, he told me, “What is most important to me is that I need to know you believe in me. I need to know you think I am your hero. It doesn’t matter how long we are together, I will always need to know that.”

It’s about admiration, trust, confidence, cheering on, faith, belief in, respect, and appreciation. It’s him knowing that I believe in him and think he can do anything. It’s him looking at me and knowing how much I admire him.

Nothing is more seductive to a man than a woman thinking he’s all-that and knowing she means it. Hello? Do I need to tell you how “the other woman” seduces a man? Her focus on him? He KNOWS she sees him and makes him think he’s all that to her. We could learn a lot from a seductress!

For Alpha Hubby, I need to make sure he is first in my life, and that he knows it.

OH MY GOSH, I waited too long for my soulmate, hero, knight in shining armor! I made the determination, long before I met him, that I would refuse to play the games I saw so many women around me play.

I refuse to speak badly about him. I refuse to talk about him with anyone at all, except to tout his praises. I refuse to take him for granted (not that he’d let me). I refuse to see anything but the good in him. We both have to work at it sometimes but in the end, he IS all that to me.

And you know what? That is not a lie – it is what I have chosen to focus on. His good points. The more I do, the more he has! But is it any surprise that also has a reciprocal? The more you focus on the bad points, the more there seem to be.

couple touching

When you keep that focus on one another’s good points, you are protecting what you have together.

That means you have to fight, tooth and nail sometimes, to keep that focus on one another. It takes work because sometimes it seems the entire world is working to pull you apart. 

And yes, if it is lost – the respect, passion, focus – you can get it back again.  It takes some work and determination, IF you both want to get your intimacy back.  You have to change your thought process – but that’s a post for another day!

Is he your hero?  Does he know it?

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Copyrighted Material © 2009 may not be copied or used without author’s express written permission.

Song: Hero, Enrique Inglesias

He Keeps Me Safe

May 10th, 2016

I read a Facebook post by Eric and Pamela Hutchins, a romantic couple whomake you want to puke(her own words). They are the kind of couple where people (their kids) say “Ewww, you guys! Get a room”. The best kind of couple. Of course it doesn’t hurt that they are a beautiful couple!

Eric Pamela

Eric & Pamela

Eric is always bragging on Pamela, her abilities (she’s an award winning author), her joy of life and her love for him. She is always mentioning things about him that she loves. Reading their quips to one another on their posts shows HOW couples need to talk to and about one another.

I’ll mention other couples I know in later posts.

So I said all that to say this: there are reasons you are with your loved one. There are reasons you said “yes” when he asked your to be his (or vice versa) or developed a relationship with you. There are reasons you thought he (she) was the most amazing person to ever come into your life.

Those positive reasons are what you need to remember and focus on more than anything else going on in your relationship.  Focus on what is right about them. Focus on remembering their good points. Focus on why you fell in love. Focus on their best and even more importantly, talk about it, to them, to others.

Knight

I wrote this post because I was thinking about a line I read in a book. The female character said, “He keeps me safe.”

I’m talking it. Alpha Hubby keeps me safe. It isn’t because he caught a baseball falling toward my head (twice) at a Little League baseball game Alpha Son was in. 

No, it is because he once told me in all seriousness: “Don’t you realize I would die for you?”

That shocked me. I had no idea. I’d come out of abusive relationships with no idea how it felt for someone to truly love me unconditionally. ALL of me (I’d had those who loved me for my good side but not in my uglies).

Probably the number one way he keeps me safe is to work with me to make our marriage “days of heaven on earth” and keeping the honeymoon going even after 22 years. He is as determined as I am to keep us safe.

Then he did something like this a few years ago. He wrote on my white board where I kept notes to myself. I deleted the notes part because what he said was the most important thing. I need to spray sealer on it because I will never erase it.

board note

It says, “I would have never hurt you or abused you or misused you. I would like to make people that has [sic] done those things to pay!!  I am not that sanctified.” As he put it to me, “I can always repent later.”

Speaking of notes, though, lest you think he’s perfect. He knows I HATE all things buggy, slippery, spidery, you know – icky things. One night before I went to bed I noticed a lizard had gotten in the living room door. I left Alpha Hubby a note thinking “He’s such a hero and knows I hate these things. He will take care of this for me.”

Yeah, no.

Lizard Note

I let him know it was small so would probably be hard to find.  In case you can’t see his reply:

Lizard Note small reply

Not the answer I was looking for. At all. But he did redeem himself – he found said tiny lizard and set him outside.

This explains WHY I have to make multiple answer questions easy on him – so he’ll answer correctly.

love napkin crop

p.s., no he doesn’t leave his clothes lying around – he’s neater than I am. He does do my car, wash dishes, cook, work around the house, would do anything I ask of him (vacuum), takes care of spiders, snakes, bugs, and lizards!! OH and skunks (yes, one got in the ceiling somehow).

Best of all? He takes care of me.

.

Quietly Rebel

May 8th, 2016

Do you know the history of some of the things our mothers and grandmothers went through to get to where we are today?  This is a women’s history lesson along with a bit of my own mom’s (Eddie) history – HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY. Kiss your mama or put flowers on her grave, if possible!

Moms Grave

Parents

I used to think being a rebel meant you had to have a strong cause and to make a lot of noise about it. Or to fight against “the establishment” and do the opposite, loudly, of what was expected. I went through the loud 70’s after all! 

You can be a rebel in a unique way.  Quietly forge ahead, often taking people off guard. Quietly rebel against everything that stands in the way of success and happiness. You can DO.

I learned from my mom, Eddie, because she did a lot of quiet rebelling. She quietly rebelled against the standard of her day – that women had only one place and it wasn’t in the work force. She taught me through actions, not words. She taught me that being fulfilled in life was simply doing what made you happy and fulfilled, without hurting others.

She taught me “success” isn’t a word, label or specific career that everyone approves of (i.e., being the business owner versus “only being” a secretary). If you like being a secretary – or stay at home mom – or business owner – then you have lived your life on your own terms and you are a success. You succeed in spite of what others may think or say.

I asked her once if she considered herself a feminist. Her reply was adamant, “I am not a feminist. That is a small label. I hate labels. Labels make your world smaller. Labels limit you. I just decided I was going to do whatever I wanted to do. Then I went out and did it.”

Think about what that implies – Mom was born in 1923, the year the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA)* was first introduced and three years after the 19th amendment had passed giving women the right to vote. I’ve read that the 1920’s were considered the “age of female enlightenment”.

By the time mom was six, soon after the stock market crash of October 1929, the “great depression” began. Most consider that it didn’t end until 1939 when Mom would have been sixteen (and first met and fell in love with my dad through her sister. He said he ran for 12 years before she caught him for good).

During the depression, she lived her formative years. My grandfather lost his great paying job. My grandmother had to work to help support the family – sometimes two and three jobs, whatever she could get.

mom in 20s late 1940s cropped

1940’s College, St. Louis MO

Think how limited my mom’s life could have been as a woman back then when she was just getting ready to step out into the “real world” after high school. During that time period, support for women’s rights pretty much disappeared. People again began the renewed promotion of the traditional belief that women belonged in the home and never, ever in the workplace.

Most women found enormous obstacles blocking their entry into certain fields. They found work in factory and clerical jobs, but barriers were strongly against women in professional fields.

Instead of “glamorous” professions, a high percentage of working wives entered domestic and personal services (maids, cooks), while others were in apparel (sales people) and canning factories. Those who were in lower-level professions, such as elementary and high school teachers, often found men displacing them and for higher pay.

This is what my mom faced when it was time to start her great adventure in life. Nowadays we think we had it tough when we left home. I don’t think we can really comprehend what those women back then faced when looking for that career that fulfilled them. So many were denied simply because they were women.

In her twenties, my mom got her pilot’s license and owned her own Piper Cub airplane. During one solo trip, her plane’s engine died and she had to force-land in a cornfield. She stayed cool and calm, doing what was needed, which typified how I always thought of my mom growing up.

Army Air Corp

1944 Army Air Corp

She parlayed her pilot’s knowledge into doing her part during World War II when she joined the Army Air Corps (USAF today). She became a Link Trainer Instructor which was the forerunner to the Flight Simulator of today.  She helped train young enlistees to become future pilots.

After marriage, she followed dad (and took my brother and I after we came along). He was in the Army for 22 years, enlisting before they marriage. Along with other professions, she was everything from a 3rd grade teacher, high school basketball coach, to later becoming a research assistant who was a part of a project researching the effects of jogging on mental patients (in mid-1970’s).  She eventually became the Director of the Alcohol Safety Program before retirement.

She didn’t talk, she just did.* And she strongly believed that when you can’t go forward, you go around whatever is trying to block your way. I don’t think it ever dawned on my mother that she couldn’t do anything she set her mind to do.

I know mom had set-backs and was sometimes told “No, you can’t do that” simply because she was a woman. She dealt with it, working her magic and often getting a job that she shouldn’t have gotten (being a woman and all!). Sometimes she didn’t get a job and had to just move onward, without whining.

Dad cropped twice

1967 getting out of service

While she may have softly bullied her way into positions she desired to occupy, the most important position she felt was ever entrusted to her was being the love of my dad’s life. By her own words, her greatest accomplishment was her happy marriage. My parents had a very romantic love affair for 56 years.

Reading this, I hope you take these things away from the post:  Quietly Rebel against anything that keeps you from living your successful life. Quietly Rebel against those who would try to stop you. Forge ahead! Life is far too short to be doing something you hate – and if you are? Only you can change it. Don’t talk – do.

Live your life fully and wholly, 100 percent. Live joyously, live fulfilled, live completely, live bravely, live totally jumping into the water puddles with both feet, and most important of all?

LOVE with your whole heart, holding nothing back.

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*I am not implying that the many wonderful and amazing women who have fought for the rights of women are only talking; I’m thinking more of the women who use the word “feminist” as a weapon against all things male or all things that don’t go right in their lives concerning jobs or men. It’s a catch-all word for so many things that this long-drawn out movement never meant to imply.
_____________
Several facts came from this paper: http://www.loyno.edu/~history/journal/1988-9/moran.htm

http://www.equalrightsamendment.org/

Some of you remember the 1970’s and the ERA finally being passed and sent to states for ratification in 1972. Or the 1980’s where it was extended. But did you know it was first introduced in 1923? Or that it is still three states short of the 38 required to put it into the Constitution? That the legislation can be repealed and altered? Something started back in 1923, something as simple as the desire to have the same rights as everyone else in the United States.

The Equal Rights Amendment
Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.
Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.
Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

What’s Not To Love?

April 29th, 2016

(As usual, if you don’t want to hear the oldies music, go down on right side and hit the pause button || )

Every now and again, I will say to Alpha Hubby, “I love you” – and he will reply, “What’s not to love?”

I have yet to come up with a viable and perfect comeback to that.

So I hit him in the arm.

wolf howling

Grrrr. Being married to an Alpha is not always easy. I suffer. Really, really suffer.  Why?

Because I am the one who explained what an Alpha was to him. He was blissfully unaware there was a name to the type of man he is.  WHAT was I thinking??

Anyhoo, on this blogging hiatus I’ve been on, I didn’t miss posting here at all. No withdrawals, either. I think I was burned out. But on a good note, I have lost 30 pounds since January (yay) and Zen-ed my house more.

As I mentioned previously, Alpha Hubby and I opted to do some reading about successful people like Napoleon Hill who wrote the book, “Think and Grow Rich” and “The Law of Success in Sixteen Lessons.” By the way, the books are so inexpensive in Kindle form that there is no excuse if you’re looking for good success books.

Most of the books make the point that it is never too late to succeed in life. There is no cap or ceiling to succeeding – except the ones you put on.

But enough serious stuff. Other lessons were taught by these books, too.

The first tidbit of information can be construed as hysterically funny or taken a bit more seriously. 

In Napoleon Hill’s book (first published in 1937), there is a point he makes that, at first, made me roll around on the bed laughing. I thought Alpha Hubby was lying and using it as a sneaky way to get more. If you don’t know what that “more” is, it might explain your dragging sex live.

Anyhoo, the point that Hill made is that sex makes a man a genius. Yep, you read that right. Him bugging you for more isn’t because he’s a hound dog!

According to Hill’s book, “… (look) back through the pages of biography and history for more than 2,000 years. Wherever there was evidence available in connection with the lives of men of great achievement, it indicated most convincingly that they possessed highly developed sexual natures.

The emotion of sex is an ‘irresistible force’ against which there can be no such opposition as an ‘immovable body’. When driven by this emotion, men become gifted with a super power for action. Understand this truth and you will catch the significance of the statement that sex transmutation will lift one to the status of a genius.

The emotion of sex contains the secret of creative ability.”

At first I scoffed. Upon further reading and study on the subject, so many things came from that statement of “genius” that I realized that it wasn’t because the book was written so long ago. There is actual science to back it up – with the main point being that a sexually satisfied man (or woman) is going to be relaxed, happy, able to think clearly, and able to express himself succinctly.

A sexually non-satisfied man will not. He will actually become emotionally distant or find other outlets – such as time-consuming hobbies or hanging with the buddies more than his wife. What he won’t be is very smart (smile). 

As you can imagine, this has led to a whole new avenue of jokes for Alpha Hubby. “But honey, I need my genius level topped off” or “I’m feeling a bit unintelligent” and the like. *Sigh*

Then the other day, Alpha Hubby was reading the book, “Who Switched Off My Brain” by Dr. Caroline Leaf. At one point he grunted, “Huh.”

I said, “What?”

“Nothing.”

I HATE WHEN HE DOES THAT because I then start wondering what thought made him grunt.

Finally he answers, “I don’t hug you enough” along with stating what he’d read about how important a hug is. I can’t recall the scientific point of hugging. I just know he jumped up and gave me a hug. A real one (explained later).

He is right. It does calm the brain and make you feel amazing.

Except.

Him being Alpha, he is going to take it farther – the next time he hugged me, I smacked his arm.

Why? Well, this is the explained later part:

He used the hug as an excuse to cop a feel.

“Hey,” he says, “I can’t help it. I’m an Alpha.”

UGH.

Alpha Wolf

(Secretly, I love it. After 22 years of marriage, it is a wonderful thing that your beloved still wants to howl at the moon, chase you around the house, and beat his chest in conquest. Oh yeah.) 

Two bound hearts with raytraced texture. White background.

Favorite Things 7 Mish Mash of This and That

April 23rd, 2016

Have you forgotten me yet? Well, I certainly hope not. You can always go over and check out one of my new adventures – blogging about cattle on Alpha Hubby’s website.  It’s pretty much a take on a city girl’s adaption to cow poop…. and scent… and cow attitude. Boy, do they have personality! Blog links on blog page and on right column.

Alpha Hubby and I have been doing a lot of reading. Books on people who were or are successful in life such as Andrew Carnegie, Mary Kay Ash, Coco Chanel, Henry Ford, and the like.  It has certainly changed our mindset about our lives. So many of the people didn’t even begin to be successful until later in life (i.e., after 40).

We recently started reading an amazing book (and DVD series) “Who Switched Off My Brain” by Dr. Caroline Leaf. Oh my gosh, so eye opening about how very important our thoughts are and how science has proven the need to get rid of toxic thoughts for your own health, success and very life.

Dr. Leaf is a cognitive neuroscientist with a PhD in Communication Pathology specializing in Neuropsychology (say that fast three times!). Since the early 1980’s she has studied and researched the Mind-Brain connection. The areas she teaches about (and she is easy to understand) will change the way – pardon the pun – you think.

You will want to get rid of toxic thoughts immediately since they ARE killing you. They kill not just your life and health but your very success. You’ll have to get the physical book since it’s not an e-book yet. Her second book is available as an e-book (“Switch On Your Brain“).

Then we go to something completely different – the BEST slicing knife ever (including fingers, sigh). Yes it is a wee bit pricey but the trade-off is that I no longer have to listen to Alpha Hubby grumble and fuss about our former slicing knife tearing up the turkey, ham and roasts. AND he had to quit using my semi-expensive serrated bread knife. 

This slicing knife cuts through meat like a hot knife through cold butter. You have to be very careful as it is easy to get carried away and knick and slice fingers. Amazon and Ebay

Here is another item I learned about from Celia over at High Heeled Life

I was very skeptical that something with H2O in the title – water – could possibly remove makeup, especially stubborn waterproof makeup. I am here to report – it is amazing and it doesn’t burn my eyes or make my skin super oily-feeling. It’s made for sensitive skin and is good for normal to dry skin. My skin is very dry right now but this product doesn’t leave it feeling stretched or dried out after cleaning off my makeup with a cotton pad. Amazon

My pharmacist friend used to carry these amazing clippers. What separates them from the crowd of clippers out there is that they are encased in a plastic covering that catches your clippings. It is the coolest thing! It also is easy to tap them out, scrap them into your hand and toss in the trashcan. Easy! And they clip cleanly – sharp. Drugstores, Amazon

There is absolutely no purpose to this – just another tea pot or pitcher – but don’t you agree it is such a cool looking one?  I really like it and it holds a LOT of tea (60 oz) or infused water or whatever! It has a bamboo lid and while you can’t use it on the stove top, it is heat resistant glass and it comes with a filter.

Hiware pitcher strainer

Hiware pitcher strainer

As you can see in the spout, there is a wire filter that hooks onto the spout so any tea leaves, mint pieces, etc. are easily kept out of your cup or glass. That feature works very well.

And last but certainly not least – DEVA CURL. A magical elixir for people with curly hair, natural or permed. Wavy hair benefits, too.  I don’t know what I’d do without Deva Curl. It has made my wavy-spirally-curly permed hair/product last longer. The shampoo and conditioners are amazing, too. The Defining Gel is not sticky (I recommend the light not the ultra for the defining gel). A little scrunch (NO towel drying or rubbing), and voila! Beautiful waves or curls.

And I highly recommend this book to go along with your Deva products. The author really helps you understand and maintain your curls and wave – without frizzing!!

That’s it for this edition of my favorite things! I hope you see something you’d like to try! Until next time, ciào!!

Favorite Things 6 Rosy Edition

February 13th, 2016

I set up a few “favorite things” posts to publish automatically (HEY, I don’t want you to forget me while I’m gone)!!

Chanel Mascara

First of all, for ladies (and I guess a few gents out there, yoikes) who are staring at a tube of favorite mascara that is trying to go dry – here is THE BEST advice I ever discovered.  If you’re having a bit of trouble getting enough on your eyelashes and you know there still has to be some in the tube, I have two words for you – eye drops.  Yes, 2-3 drops of a good-quality eye drop (I use Systane) into the tube will revive what’s left so that you can use it until you get another tube.

Do not pump up and down vigorously to mix as that will pump air into the tube and cause it to dry out even more. See if you can’t roll the brush around inside, moving gently up and down without pulling the wand out too far.  Eye drops have revived several tubes of mascara for me and I’ve never had one problem.

Nina's Paris - Tea Salon - crop

Nina’s Paris picture from High Heeled Life

And while you are sitting at your table or in your private spot jotting down your most important thoughts, have a relaxing cuppa tea. My latest gotta have is courtesy of my friend Celia from Toronto, over at her wonderfully eclectic blog http://attitudeivlife.blogspot.ca/

Celia recovered from a horrific hit & run accident that happened several years ago. From that point almost 10 years ago until this day, she fought to get her high-heeled life back. She defied odds and people’s opinion to take control of her life to live it in the best and most beautiful way possible. Realizing she should have died, she grabs life with both hands, living it fully.

She ends every post with the saying, “You are the curator of your life so live it luxuriously” and is directly responsible for inspiring me to live my best life possible. She taught me to set aside anything that doesn’t bring me joy, to Zen my house, to appreciate the beauty in life, to live in peace. Life is short; take good care of you. Then you are able to help others.

NINAs-the-boite-rose-marie-antoinette

She introduced her blog audience to Nina’s (Paris) Original Thé de Marie Antoinette.  Marie Antoinette tea is  a mixture of “rose petals, apples, rose. A very delicate tea, flavored with apples & rose, with a touch of strongness with Ceylon tea. Apple aroma done with apples (coming) from King’s Kitchen Garden – Versailles” (from Nina’s website).  I am now hooked on rose tea. I purchase Marie Antoinette on Amazon.

republic of tea raspberry rose hibiscus

Republic of Tea Raspberry Rose Hibiscus

Marie Antoinette does have caffeine so if you are looking for something just as delicious without caffeine, try The Republic of Tea’s Raspberry Rose Hibiscus. Talk about delicious – Alpha Hubby even likes it.

Harny & Sons rose-scented-big-tin

Harney & Sons Rose Scented Tea

Another delicious rose tea is from Harney and Sons. They have several types of rose tea. There is just something decadent about rose teas. The flavor and scent are lush and quite different from an ordinary cup of tea!

aerin rose lip conditioner

Aerin Rose Lip Conditioner

My latest lip conditioner is one I discovered quite by accident.  Aerin is the granddaughter of Estee Lauder. She began her own beauty product line and I found out because I purchase a few samples of her Aerin perfume, Evening Rose (are you beginning to sense a pattern here?). I found inexpensively priced samples on Ebay. I like it! It makes my lips feel smoother than most glosses.

Demeter Bulgarian Rose Massage Oil

Demeter Bulgarian Rose Massage Oil

And one last rosy edition to this favorites post – Demeter Bulgarian Rose Massage Oil. Oh! The scent is like a fresh cut rose. It is great for very dry skin, can be used as a perfume, and is excellent for massage. Of course they have chocolate, hazelnut, and other scents. Rose is wonderful but for a romantic evening… a chocolate massage anyone? Ebay and Amazon.

Two bound hearts

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY – love on yourself, your significant other, your family!