So… a Father’s Day blog about Alpha Hubby. I say “dark side” because we aren’t that couple who still have kids at home. We’re on the other side. No more pacifiers and much more stockings, garters and rope (smile).
Alpha Son has been out of the house a few years now. We see him often enough to enjoy him (and his beautiful wife) but the paradigm shifted. It became a “fun, fun, fun ’til her daddy takes the T-bird awaaaaaay nekkid house!!” Sorry.
Now Alpha Hubby is an amazing father. But he isn’t my daddy (yeah, yeah Hon, I know “who’s my daddy, now” – and you know that’s not what I’m talking about). Anyway, he isn’t MY daddy.
One thing we talked about when we were getting to know one another after our whirlwind meet-greet-marriage was that we didn’t want to get on the other side of raising Alpha Son and be like so many other couples who live separate lives in the same house. Or wondering who that stranger is sitting across the table, without kids to run interference between us.
I waited so dog-goned long for him to swoop down and scoop me up and set me atop his white steed while he was wearing his knightly shining armour, that I didn’t want to waste time simply being a mom. I’d been a mom. A single mom. For 11 years. I loved (and love) being a mom. But.
After Alpha Hubby and I married, I wanted a lover first ’cause you know that saying? No? Well I’ll tell you:
“The most important thing a father can do for his children
is love their mother.”
– Theodore Hesburgh, American Priest
So we talked. We talked about our needs, desires, wants, hopes, and dreams, and how we can help one another fulfill them. He talked about the importance of rendezvous, fooling around, carnal knowledge, making out, heavy petting, necking – all synonyms for a word I won’t type because spammers hit my blog like crazy with nastiness if I do – but it ends in an “x”.
Suffice it to say, those rendezvous were – and are – very important to him (and most men, if they are honest). Very, very, very, very, very important. Because you know what? He didn’t marry a mother (even though I was one). He married a woman he was attracted to, in love with, and wanted.
So we set the parameters of our relationship, most importantly that we came first, then parenting came after that. If we didn’t protect the “we” then the parenting kind of gets messed up, too.
And after all these years, I know one thing for sure. As long as Alpha Hubby knows he is #1 in my life, all is well in our home.
It may be Father’s Day but he is still a man, one that is desired, wanted, loved, and cherished. Intimacy is an area that we feel we need to continue to grow in so it never gets stagnant. It is so vital to the health of our relationship. It is so vital to his (a man’s) feeling of love from his woman.
The important point for Father’s Day is to remember to keep that intimacy on the front burner no matter what else is going on in our life. Moos and all.
Alpha Hubby and I were chatting about intimacy awhile back. We are always chatting. One of our favorite topics to talk about is intimacy. Any form. Talking about talking about it. Talking about increasing it. Talking about doing it. Talking about protecting it. Talking about likes and dislikes. Talking.
So I asked jokingly, “So, what if I’m not in the mood?”
He swiftly replied, “I’ve got rope, baby.”
He does. It’s red. It was a Father’s Day present a few years back.
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY. Guess what gift Alpha Hubby is getting… more of?