(If the music irritates you, just go over to sidebar to song listings and hit pause!)
So 20.6 years ago, I remember during the seven weeks Alpha Hubby and I were dancing around one another… well, it was more like me dancing away and him pursuing like a hunter… I found I was very skittish about the thought of getting married. I wasn’t even doing that well with the semi-dating we were doing. Talk about being a nervous nelly!
I was concerned because based on past experience, I had reason to be concerned. I did not want to let any more axe-murdering psychos into my life again.
I asked him one evening, “So are you going to have a problem if I want to zip down to Louisiana and visit my friends for a weekend? Or meet them somewhere?”
He said, “Well no, I mean why would I? You’re an adult.”
Me: “Well, I’m just concerned. I don’t want to be joined at the hips where we do everything together and lose our individuality. Or one of us can’t go off and do something with friends.” (Here, I believe it is obvious that I’d been single and doing my own thing for 12+ years before meeting Alpha Hubby.)
“Well,” he replied, “I guess I understand that. I’m not going to tell you what you can and can’t do. I might be concerned with you driving long distances by yourself but that’s me, not you. I assume you’ve been doing this a long time on your own.”
So here we are, 20.6 years later and he STILL doesn’t let me forget that conversation. “Haw, haw, Nan,” he snickers, “not wanting to be joined at the hips. Snicker, snicker.” He thinks that it is hysterical now since that is all we are, completely and totally joined at the hips. He knows I meant losing my “self” or “identity” (as I had done in the past) but he likes to rub it in.
Joined at the hips. What does that mean? Well, we go everywhere together. No separate vacations in this household. I don’t want to go anywhere or share adventures with anyone else. Why? Because he’s the most fun I’ve ever had in my life. He is my best friend, truly. He is the only person on this earth who knows ME, inside and out. He knows me like no one has EVER known me, not even my mother.
We can go on a road trip and talk all the way there and back. It is like we never run out of things to talk about, ever. Oh I’m sure some of our conversations are totally ridiculous to other people, but who cares? We have fun and “we” are all that matters.
I know he would protect me with his life. He’s proven it I know he loves me unconditionally. He’s proven it. It is the most amazing thing, to be loved this way. Then again, te’s a pretty amazing man.
And I have to say, I really love being joined at the hips with him.
There are times I crawl into bed and, although we have a king-sized bed, I am only able to get on the very edge of the bed. Somehow he is asleep in the middle or occasionally takes up an additional 1/4 of my side with his sprawled body on it. This triggers the gentle (ha!) slight… shall we say… shoving to get him to roll over and eventually begin to make his way to his side of the bed. THAT joined at the hips is not for me. I don’t like falling out of bed.
And the other day in the kitchen where we have a tall double seater bench we sit on at the counter, I realized I had one butt cheek hanging off my side of the bench. Every time he put the fork to his mouth, he elbowed me. So I elbowed him back and said, “Get your butt off my side of the bench!” He was actually in the middle but the middle is on both sides. Again, NOT a joined at the hips I enjoy, especially with an elbow in my face! I don’t like falling off the bench.
But, after long belly button contemplation, I came to the conclusion that if I have to put up with his space-hogging-thieving ways to have the rest of the man he is, I guess I am going to be joined at the hips and battling space thieving another 60 years or so. Loving it.