La La La La – that is me with my fingers plugging my ears so I don’t hear the cries of bad food coming at me from every direction. I swear to you, I AM NOT CRAZY! I really am not crazy. But there are days I think I need to have a funeral in the backyard and bury all foods that were my downfall.
I could take a bag of Lays Potato Chips and pour it into a hole, pat dirt on top of it and put a little cross with a sign that says, “Here Lies Lays.” No more downfall.
I could take my homemade brownies – after I make them, smell them, cry over the fact that I can’t eat them right now, and go put them in their own little hole outside. The sign would say, “Here lies the instigator of all evil in Nan’s life and not even she is stupid enough to want to dig up and eat brownies with dirt impacted in them but it is a close call.” Guess the sign would be pretty big, huh!?
I am serious about this except that I would have so many little white crosses in the yard that people might think it is the new Hagarville National Memorial. I guess it would be, in a way – a memorial to all the foods I refuse to eat anymore (for now). I don’t say never because if I say never my body will scream, “WHAT? NO MORE HOMEMADE BROWNIES? EVER?”
And then my body would proceed to mourn and whine and complain and beg and throw fits and work on my self control until I finally say, “ENOUGH” and make some then feel guilty then try to push them off on my hubby who would not break down but would take them to the office — maybe. He might go into a fit and say “if you would just hide these from me, I wouldn’t stand here and eat the whole bag so it is all your fault” then I’d have even MORE guilt – so if I am going to have more guilt, I might as well eat those brownies since I’m being blamed for them in the first place – right??? Riiiiight. If you believe that…
Even the best fitness trainers say that you set yourself up for a fall if you tell your body NEVER. So I just say, “NOT NOW. After I can handle it, then we’ll talk again.” That way my body is fooled into thinking we will eat brownies again and not crave them.
It does help to find out the trigger foods that send you into cravings and binges. There are some – but that is another blog. Right now I need to go make up some little white crosses. La la la la la!!