I’m sure you’re wondering where this title came from. You ARE out there and wondering, aren’t you?
Well, just in case, let me ‘splain. It’s like this: when I met Alpha Hubby, I had some… shall we say… botherations? Cans of worms? Issues? Oh, OK. Let’s just say I had an entire matched set of Louis Vuitton luggage, packed full. Baggage, baby, baggage.
During our 7 week “getting to know you” marathon before we married, I remember saying to him, “Listen, I hope you’re not expecting me to be joined at the hip – one of those women who can’t go anywhere without their husbands. I need my space. I need the freedom that, if I want to go off for a weekend and visit my friends out of state, I am free to do so.”
I was extremely nervous about getting married. I didn’t want to become property. I didn’t want to lose my independence and freedom. I didn’t want to become a “Mrs. Anything” (hey, I SAID I had baggage).
I pretty much wanted to “protect” myself. From what, I don’t know since all my inner demons were based on past history and experience, not current events.
After we married, I remember a
highly volatile heated deeply intellectual discussion we had about cheating. I told him flat out, “If you ever cheat on me, you can book it, I will be gone. That’s it. I am not going to put up with that.” He agreed.
Flash ahead several months. As I gained confidence that he really wasn’t an axe murderer, and learned how solid and honorable his character was (and that he is also A Character), I realized what a complete and total gem I had. I knew if I hooked myself up with his good name, I would be just fine. I learned he could be trusted and he just got better and better as I got to know him.
So we went back and visited our deeply intelligent conversation about cheating again. He said to me, “You remember when we had that talk about cheating and we said that would be it – we’d be outta here?”
Me: “Uh, yeah?”
Alpha Hubby: “Well, I’ve changed my mind. I will hunt you down. You will not get away.”
Me: “Aren’t you being a little obsessive?”
Alpha Hubby: “You say that like it’s a bad thing or something.”
Me: “Well, alrighty then.” (Oh, who am I kidding: I loved it.)
He isn’t serious in the sense of evil and scary or stalking and “every breath you take I will be watching you” way. It’s just playing around – creating fun memories and great one-liners that have stuck with us over the years. His Alpha is very real, but his chest-beating is all in good fun. Mostly.
He has an warped off the wall weird strange sick unbelievable amazing humor. It also goes back to the big mistake I made by explaining to him that he was an Alpha. There are times I wish I’d never explained to him what an Alpha Male (man) was (just kidding, baby) – he had NO idea he was one. And I had no idea we’d become an alpha pair when we married.
A blog post HERE chats about the traits of alphas (male and female) and the mistake I made with Alpha Hubby.
Once he learned what alpha meant and that he really had all the characteristics and traits of a pack leader, he became very difficult interesting to live with. My Alpha Hubby is a chest beating, roaring alpha wolf. I’ve never had so much fun.
That old worried about being “joined at the hip” thing? It’s history. But he hasn’t let me forget it. That whole, “I’m independent and need my freedom?” Cause for much laughter. This guy supports my dreams, hopes and wishes, and believes in me. He wants me to succeed and be happy, and gives me everything I need to do that.
I think it is safe to say that all my baggage is unpacked and safely put away. Who knew a nice little obsession could create a paradigm shift. We had a revolution in our marriage – a transformation, a sort of metamorphosis, if you will. We had a complete change of form: we went from two separate entities to one. We became one.
It’s nice being pursued. It’s nice being obsessed over (in a healthy, nice way). It’s nice to be loved so unconditionally that if you stop and think about it, it takes your breath away. (Hmmm, if I am breathless, does that mean he won’t be watching me?)
Hear the roar, baby!