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Luv: Obsession

19 February 2011

I’m sure you’re wondering where this title came from.  You ARE out there and wondering, aren’t you?

*ribbit ribbit*

Well just in case, let me ‘splain.  It’s like this:  when I met Alpha Hubby, I had some… shall we say… botherations?  Cans of worms?  Issues?  Oh, OK.  Let’s just say I had an entire matched set of Louis Vuitton luggage, packed full.  Baggage, baby, baggage.

During our 7 week “getting to know you” marathon before we married, I remember saying to him, “Listen, I hope you’re not expecting me to be joined at the hip – one of those women who can’t go anywhere without their husbands.  I need my space.  I need the freedom that, if I want to go off for a weekend and visit my friends out of state, I am free to do so.”

I was extremely nervous about getting married.  I didn’t want to become property.  I didn’t want to lose my independence and freedom.  I didn’t want to become a “Mrs. Anything” (hey, I SAID I had baggage).

I pretty much wanted to “protect” myself.  From what, I don’t know since all my inner demons were based on past history and experience, not current events.

After we married, I remember a highly intellectual discussion we had about cheating.  I told him flat out, “If you ever cheat on me, you can book it, I will be gone.  That’s it.  I am not going to put up with that.”  He agreed.

Flash ahead several months.  As I gained confidence that he really wasn’t an axe murderer, and learned how solid and honorable his character was (and that he is also A character), I realized what a complete and total gem I had.  I knew if I hooked myself up with his good name, I would be just fine.  I learned he could be trusted and he just got better and better as I got to know him.

So we went back and visited our highly intelligent conversation about cheating again.  He said to me, “You remember when we had that talk about cheating and we said that would be it – we’d be outta here?”

Me: “Uh, yeah?”

Alpha Hubby:  “Well, I’ve changed my mind.  I will hunt you down.  You will not get away.”

Me:  “Aren’t you being a little obsessive?”

Alpha Hubby:  “You say that like it’s a bad thing or something.”

Me:  “Well, alrighty then.”  (Oh, who am I kidding:  I loved it.)

The song by Police, “Every Breath You Take” (which is sort of a stalker song) pretty much describes Alpha Hubby.  In a good way.  Really!

He isn’t serious in the sense of evil and scary or stalking and “every breath you take I will be watching you” way.   In truth, all that is just playing around – creating fun memories and great one-liners that have stuck with us over the years.  His alpha is very real, but his chest-beating is all in good fun.

He has warped off the wall weird strange sick unbelievable amazing humor.  It also goes back to the big mistake I made by explaining to him that he was an alpha. There are times I wish I’d never explained to him what an Alpha Male (man) was (just kidding, baby) – he had NO idea he was one.  I had no idea we’d become an alpha pair when we married.

A site page HERE chats about the traits and the mistake I made with Alpha Hubby.

Once he learned what alpha meant and that he really had all the characteristics and traits of a pack leader, he has been very difficult interesting to live with.  My Alpha Hubby is a chest beating, roaring alpha wolf.  I’ve never had so much fun.

That old worried about being “joined at the hip” thing?  It’s history.  But he hasn’t let me forget it.  That whole, “I’m independent and need my freedom?”  Cause for much laughter.  This guy supports my dreams, hopes and wishes, and believes in me.  He wants me to succeed and be happy, and gives me everything I need to do that.

I think it is safe to say that all my baggage is unpacked and safely put away.  Who knew a nice little obsession could create a paradigm shift.  We had a revolution in our marriage  – a transformation, a sort of metamorphosis, if you will.  We had a complete change of form: we went from two separate entities to one.  We became one.

It’s nice being pursued.  It’s nice being obsessed over (in a healthy, nice way).  It’s nice to be loved so unconditionally that if you stop and think about it, it takes your breath away.  (Hmmm, if I am breathless, does that mean he won’t be watching me?)

Hear the roar, baby!

 

You Belong to Me, Johnny Mathis

Every Breath You Take, Police

38 thoughts on “Luv: Obsession”

  3. I love your blog design! Found you through SITS.

    Honestly, the way I feel about cheating is the same as what you said. If you don’t want to lose me, don’t cheat. Problem solved. I think once you’ve crossed that line, the trust is gone and the foundation of the relationship has a crack in it that throws everything off. It’s all about trust.

  4. I love your blog design! Found you through SITS.

    Honestly, the way I feel about cheating is the same as what you said. If you don’t want to lose me, don’t cheat. Problem solved. I think once you’ve crossed that line, the trust is gone and the foundation of the relationship has a crack in it that throws everything off. It’s all about trust.

  11. Joined at the hip! Ha! Always remember I will find you! Something worth having is worth protecting and nourishing. My roar may scare others but you don’t seem to be affected by it. I need to change things up. Look out, Baybay, there will be a new roar on the range!

    1. Oh pooh, you don’t scare me. You may be the scariest thing in the valley but you belong to me. YOU don’t forget that!

  12. Joined at the hip! Ha! Always remember I will find you! Something worth having is worth protecting and nourishing. My roar may scare others but you don’t seem to be affected by it. I need to change things up. Look out, Baybay, there will be a new roar on the range!

    1. Oh pooh, you don’t scare me. You may be the scariest thing in the valley but you belong to me. YOU don’t forget that!

  13. I remember when that Sting song came out and that is exactly what I thought too, that he sounded like he was stalking her. I don’t think we called it stalking back then but it sure didn’t sound healthy. Remember that video? Weird. Great post, as usual. I am green with envy here. I want what you have.

  14. I remember when that Sting song came out and that is exactly what I thought too, that he sounded like he was stalking her. I don’t think we called it stalking back then but it sure didn’t sound healthy. Remember that video? Weird. Great post, as usual. I am green with envy here. I want what you have.

  15. A truly good guy is not interested in clipping wings… A good guy breaths beneath his woman’s wings to give her more lift! I am pretty sure both you and I have one of the truly good ones…

    1. I really like how you said this. Alpha Hubby holds me up if I need it, supporting me in every way possible. My success is his success. Pretty heady stuff – intoxicating!

  16. A truly good guy is not interested in clipping wings… A good guy breaths beneath his woman’s wings to give her more lift! I am pretty sure both you and I have one of the truly good ones…

    1. I really like how you said this. Alpha Hubby holds me up if I need it, supporting me in every way possible. My success is his success. Pretty heady stuff – intoxicating!

  19. It’s so amazing to find a man who “fits.” My ex needed constant validation and I just didn’t seem to have it to give. At least, he was never satisfied with my reassurances. I wouldn’t say that current hubby is an alpha male – but he’s secure in himself. I find that very attractive.

  20. It’s so amazing to find a man who “fits.” My ex needed constant validation and I just didn’t seem to have it to give. At least, he was never satisfied with my reassurances. I wouldn’t say that current hubby is an alpha male – but he’s secure in himself. I find that very attractive.

  23. I spit my coke out on that “you say that like it’s a bad thing or something” line! Sounds like you two have a really great rapport. Do you really laugh this much and joke around?

  24. I spit my coke out on that “you say that like it’s a bad thing or something” line! Sounds like you two have a really great rapport. Do you really laugh this much and joke around?

  29. I think it is great that you have such a strong love. The hubs and I have been married for 11 years and we have had some really tough times in the last two. We are working on it, but I do have to say that mature love should be taken seriously. I married in my very early 20’s, and I think that was my first mistake. I had no idea who I was and now well into my thirties only now am I figuring out who I want to be.

  30. I think it is great that you have such a strong love. The hubs and I have been married for 11 years and we have had some really tough times in the last two. We are working on it, but I do have to say that mature love should be taken seriously. I married in my very early 20’s, and I think that was my first mistake. I had no idea who I was and now well into my thirties only now am I figuring out who I want to be.

  31. Thanks for visiting me. It’s so nice to meet you.
    You have such a beautiful story to tell. Good for you that you found your soul mate! I’ve been lucky enough to be married to the same man for 31 years, and it’s such a secure feeling to be with someone that you know is never going to leave!

  32. Thanks for visiting me. It’s so nice to meet you.
    You have such a beautiful story to tell. Good for you that you found your soul mate! I’ve been lucky enough to be married to the same man for 31 years, and it’s such a secure feeling to be with someone that you know is never going to leave!

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