Anytime I mention something that possibly, maybe, could be something Alpha Hubby did that – oh, how shall I express this… upsets me… I always get the answer that he’s innocent of all wrong-doing.
He will say that even BEFORE I state what upset me.
This started waaaay back when we were first married and I discovered a plastic container in the refrigerator – one I was looking forward to reheating the contents of and enjoying – and there was ONE lousy bite of food left in the bottom.
Now since my mouth was all set for whatever meal that was, I was a slight bit perturbed. A huge slight bit. More as in, “Did you eat ALL my leftovers? How could you do that? Those were MY leftovers. Those were NOT your leftovers. YOUR leftovers have already been eaten BY YOU. I can’t believe you ate MY leftovers.”
But noooo, he protests his innocence. And we all know better, right? There are two people in the house. Can you do the math?
Worse? His excuse was, “Well, you told me to stop leaving empty containers in the refrigerator. It’s not empty.”
Yeah, that works just about as well as the one swallow of orange juice left in the jug. Grrrrr.
Take my 100% cotton dish towels.
Most of you know how hard it is to find 100% cotton dishtowels that don’t leave lint on your dishes (those towels akin to flour sack towels, i.e., not fluffy or fuzzy). It is also difficult to find said towels that will also actually absorb the water off the item being dried – in other words, the freaking dish plate does not have water smears on it after using the towel to dry it.
I finally, finally found some on Ebay.com that actually worked. They were a beautiful WHITE towel with a red strip down the center. I said to Alpha Hubby, “These are NOT your towels. These towels are only to be used for drying dishes. This (showing another one) is one you use for wiping or drying your hands.”
“Okay,” he says, leaving me wishing I had taped this conversation.
A few months later I begin to notice stains on the pristine dish towels (above picture is a representation not actual). They were no longer white. They had OBVIOUSLY been used to wipe up spills that are non clear (i.e., not water), clean off the grill, wipe off his muddy boots, wipe a cow’s butt (ok, maybe not that) – SOMETHING that was non-dish-drying related.
He denies the whole thing. Again, two people live here and since I KNOW I did not do this to my towels…
Unfortunately, this last set of towels is the FOURTH set of kitchen-related towels that have developed mysterious stains on them.
The sad thing? I have a nice paper-towel rack right by the fridge. It is a simply one step from the sink to reach, to tear off a sheet and wipe up whatever his mind has conceived that it is easier to grab my 100% cotton towels for.
Don’t EVEN get me started on the bath towels he has confiscated that he actually did use out with the cattle – or to wipe up some construction-related mess (i.e., foam insulation that dries and never comes out).
So, as you can see, I have a perfect right to justify my need for an Alpha Hubby Cam. If they can set them up to watch Nannys, I don’t see why I can’t set one up just to prove to my loving husband that I am not a dummy – I know his cousin Jimmy didn’t perpetrate all these heinous crimes against me.
I ought to know – I asked him – and he also denies everything.
Worse? Cousin Jimmy is a fictional character Alpha Hubby blames everything on.
Worse that that? Alpha Hubby would just wave at the camera – and still state his innocence.