Several years ago – 28-ish – a refrain started in my life. It was interesting, the different variations that cropped up but they all went something like this: “Oh I’d be interested in you if it weren’t for ‘that kid’. I’m just not into kids.”
I didn’t realize it at the time, but that was a pretty darned good test of someone’s character. Not that there was something wrong with a guy not wanting to deal with kids, but in some men, there was a lurking attitude that I don’t think was conducive to a good relationship with me.
That kid.
That kid just turned thirty last Thursday. THIRTY. 30. THURTY. Wow.
That kid. That kid changed my life. That kid taught me about total, complete love. That kid was worth far more than any of the men who turned away from me because I had that kid. I refused to date because that kid was more important than what those men had to offer… Russian hands and Roman fingers, wrestling matches on the couch or in the front seat of a car, and continual “But why not?” and “That’s just not natural”… because I wouldn’t “sleep” with them.
When Alpha Hubby was gently placed into my life by God, sneaking him in past my defences, that kid and I became even more blessed. Alpha Hubby was nervous, sure. He did not know about dating a woman with a kid BUT he never expressed that. He gave us a chance… and he fell in love with that kid.
What a difference a day makes. You go to work, not realizing that everything is getting ready to change. You meet a man who actually sees your heart and decides he wants more. Seven weeks later, you marry this gift and he brings more love into your life and into that kid’s life than you’ve ever experienced before.
NO, that’s not true. we had NEVER experienced that kind of unconditional love until him.
Alpha Hubby adopted that kid, gave him his name, love, guidance, and joy. He is his dad. Eighteen and a half years later, they still have the most amazing relationship.
When that kid was seventeen, he called me up and said, “Take dad and look at the video I sent you, OK?” We got on the computer. We cried. To this day when I view this video, I cry. I cry because of that kid who felt love so strongly for his dad, that he sent this video. I cry because God was so good to send that kid his heart’s desire – a real dad.
That kid. That kid, who is a man now, has brought so much joy into my life, and he continues to. He is a blessing from God. And Alpha Hubby, another blessing from God, bringing even more joy into my life. I am not sure what I’ve done to deserve two such amazing blessings, but I do know where they came from – and Who.
Or – http://youtu.be/BjO1F6oCab8
When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new
It always winds up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she’d ever meet someone
Who wouldn’t find out about me and then turn around and run
I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she’d say yes
And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something’s missing
To a family
Looking back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I’m at least half the dad
That he didn’t have to be
I met the girl that’s now my wife about three years ago
We had the perfect marriage but we wanted somethin’ more
Now here I stand surrounded by our family and friends
Crowded ’round the nursery window as they bring the baby in
And now all of a sudden
It seemed so strange to me
How we’ve gone from something’s missing
To a family
Looking through the glass I think about the man
That’s standing next to me
And I hope I’m at least half the dad
That he didn’t have to be
Looking back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I’m at least half the dad
That he didn’t have to be
Yeah, I hope I’m at least half the dad
That he didn’t have to be
Because he didn’t have to be
You know he didn’t have to be
Brad Paisley, He Didn’t Have to Be
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KIDDO
Nan, this post has made me cry! Oh my, what a lovely, lovely tribute to that kid! It’s not till our children are grown that we are able to see how much the sacrifices and struggles were totally worth it. I’m so glad you had Alpha Hubby helping you with raising this fine young man. The photos enhance this already lovely post. I always leave your blog with a renewed sense of faith; believing that with love, everything is possible. Thank you for that, my friend! 🙂
Oh my dear friend, I had tears puddling in my eyes as I read your words .. that video sprung the puddles down my cheeks. Thank you for sharing such raw honesty. I can’t imagine what it is like for a single mom to date (not only has the man need to be right for you, he has to be right for the most precious blessing God gave you .. your son ) … But am so happy that GOD sent you and your son the most lovely and caring soul.
You all make a difference in the world!!! xo C. (HHL)
P.S. finally getting back into writing new posts … xo
Great post, Nan! And an even greater kid. This is full of so much sweet family-lovin’!
That song made me sob. I can’t imagine how that must have hit you the very first time you guys heard it. It is a tear jerker in such a good way. You have a great son and a greater Alpha. I hope you know how blessed you are.
Oh yes, I know! Alpha Hubby won’t let me forget it (snicker). Seriously, my life totally changed for the better when Alpha Son came along, then completely blew out of the water when Alpha Hubby came to us.
What a great post. And so much like the way I lived with my kid. Didn’t go anywhere, didn’t do anything except work and then rush home because I was positive something would happen to him between the bus stop and the house or the afterschool program. Sitting on a computer talking with possibly nice guys, but not agreeing to meet them because of my kid. Soooo many similarities.
Love this. Thanks
And you know what? Waiting was so worth it, for both of us.
Really? You’re gonna post a picture with the camaro in it? Way to open a can of worms on that! Sure would be nice to be cruising around in.
OH MY GOSH – LET IT GO! The Camaro is looong gone, along with the Mustang. I swear on a stack of Bibles if I’d know you were coming along, I’d have saved the Mustang for you. And I’m sorry, so sorry, I didn’t just bring the Camaro here when we moved. Good grief!!!
Oh, how sweet! Made me cry!
I will admit that I had to go back and re read Russian hand and Roman fingers! 🙂 I didn’t get it at first.
Tut, tut. Don’t try to convince me you aren’t old enough to remember than Russian/Roman line? Or is it possible you’ve never heard of it??
Ahhhh, That Kid is Faaaaabulous.
What else would he be?
I am so happy that he has You and Alpha Man to LOVE HIM.
Happy Birthday! <3
Yes, that kid IS fabu! All on his own; I can’t take credit!!
This brings tears to my eyes. Both my little ones started preschool today.
I’m so grateful to hear stories like yours. That happily ever afters actually exist. And that you kiddo loves and appreciates his daddy. I don’t know that I’ll ever appreciate my dad or my step-dad in that way but I get to start a new with my husband and our children.
Happy Birthday to your little guy!! Love to you all!!
I like that – starting anew! You can make your own “happily ever afters” for you and yours!!
It sure has been the best thing in my life. You did a wonderful job with That Kid making it easy from there on. Causes tears of happiness all over again.
That Kid was so much better off after you came into our lives and finished completing our circle! Yep, tears of happiness that he quit borrowing money, huh!!??
OMG Nan. I am crying here. Big ole tears running down my cheeks. What a wonderful tribute to his dad. No wonder you guys cried. This post is so good. Happy Birthday to your son.
I kid you not – every time I hear that song, I tear up. Of course, the writer intended for the song to do that. The song was based on Paisley’s frequent co-writer and best friend, Kelley Lovelace’s stepson McCain Merren. According to Lovelace, Paisley said to him, “Let’s make a song about you two that will make your wife cry.” I love it!