So… I’ve receive questions about my relationship with Alpha Hubby. And yes, it is true that sometimes I have to pinch myself to realize that after 22 years, 4 months and 27 days, our relationship is even better than in the beginning.
It is more honest, spicier, richer, deeper, better, blah blah, on and on ad nauseam. So today I am going to share a little bit of True Love Ways – what we’ve done (and do) that keeps our relationship cool enough to make people gag. I know you want to know. Heh heh.
**First and foremost, True Love makes the decision that the word “divorce” is never to be uttered. Why? Because is is NOT an option. I don’t care how snowy it may get in the house, how many icicles grow from the chilliness in the room, DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION. Period. We take the words “for better or worse” very, very seriously.
You’d be surprised how that changes things. When you know divorce is not an option, you absolutely have to kiss and makeup, work things out, never walk away, stick with one another – PERIOD. It makes working things out much easier and besides, most of our frosty days are far behind us. NO going to bed angry.
**Sometimes we unwittingly allow other things to steal our time away from one another.
True Love realizes that when you have a loved one’s time, it is a gift. It is to be treasured, valued. You quickly get things back on track. It makes your relationship richer when you value one another.
**Sometimes we might have to face that relationships can be a battlefield. But it is not supposed to be the two of you against one another. It is the two of you against the world.
True Love realizes that you must battle outside forces to keep the two of you faced outwardly, together. Against all obstacles – work, in-laws, friends, children, troubles. If this slips, True Love is quick to forgive and forget, and move on. It really is you and them against the world.
**Sometimes it is important that all the focus be on the other person for a time. Sometimes you have to set yourself on a back burner for the other person’s needs to be met. Give and take. People say a relationship is 50-50. This is a lie. A good one is 100-100 percent, both working 100 percent toward making it work and good. Then if one needs a bit more from the other, there is no deficit.
True Love isn’t “me, me, me” and “me first.” If you work together, it becomes “us, us, us” and “us first” even if one needs more lovin’ than at other times.
**Sometimes one of us makes a mistake and has to say, “I’m sorry.” (It’s usually me.) I usually pull a Fonzie trying to say wrong – “I was wrrr. I was wrrrrr. I was not exactly right.”
True Love is fast to say “I was wrong” and True Love also accepts an apology with grace. True Love never keeps score and never says, “Well, you should be sorry.” And True Love says: “I’m sorry” (period, no reasons or excuses) instead of “I’m sorry BUT…”. Or says “I’m sorry I hurt you” not “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt.” Huge difference there.
**Sometimes there may be times when one mate may seem “less than perfect” or “less than the dream guy/gal you married” or might even screw up somehow and show he/she is a human being. That’s when you: hear, see and speak no evil.
True Love always, always expects and looks for the best in the other. True Love cuts some slack. True Love ignores anything it needs to and never points out a fault. You know why? Because you expect the same from them when YOU are not perfect.
For sure, True Love is patient and knows one must face that they themselves are -*sigh*- not perfect either. Do not focus on perceived bad points! Truly hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.
**True Love NEVER talks to their girlfriends (or dude buds) about their loved one. Never, never, ever. Get me? NEVER. You have no idea how much damage you do when you go outside your marriage like that. It is a betrayal.
**Sometimes we have to face that we may hurt one another. There may be tears (me) or growling (him).
True Love forces oneself to realize that the other never meant to hurt, nor is it on purpose. True Love faces that one might be having a snit fit ’cause one got ones feelings hurt and one needs get over it. One is not telling who this one is.
**Sometimes we get a bit busy and miss some… umm, shall we say, personal time?
True Love makes sure the most important focus in your life is your mate. Above all others. True Love quickly gets back on track and makes sure that the personal time meter is running into overtime (I’m talking s#x here folks!). NO excuses. No, zip, nada, nyet, zilch, Seduce one another often.
Probably, with the exception of this last point coming up, our personal burn-up-the-sheets and boil-the-water-in-the-swimming-pool time is our most important detail in keeping our marriage growing better and better. Never, ever losing the intimacy.
**Last and most importantly in and to our relationship is that we never forget that above all and always, God is #1 in our relationship with one another. There are three in the marriage and that is truly what makes it what it is.
True Love knows where True Love comes from. And protects it in honor of The One Who put you together.