(I’m working on shutting down my other website/blog and bringing the files and posts to this blog & corresponding website. I am using a few of those posts here until I’m done unpacking and reorganizing my house and website!)
What’s in a name?
My name is not unique. It was heartbreaking when I was younger to learn that my name came from a can of vegetables. Apparently, there used to be a brand called Nancy Lee. Isn’t that just sad? I wanted to be named some exotic non-ordinary name. My pregnant mom wanders through a grocery store and finds my future name on a can of green beans in the vegetable aisle?!
When I was a sophomore in high school, we again moved to a new town. I had a chance to reinvent myself. Our class had several “Nancy’s” in it, so when it came to signing up in each class, I cut off the “cy” and became “Nan.” That was many moon’s ago – more than I’m going to share with you, nosy. Needless to say, I’ve been a Nan longer than I was ever a can of vegetables… errr – Nancy.
I’ve been Nan so long, I don’t even recognize myself as a Nancy and if I were walking down the street and someone hollered out “Hey Nancy” I’d never realize they were talking to me. It sounds too foreign – even the IRS sent my forms each year to Nan. My inner name is Nan no matter what people call me on the outside. It is ingrained to the point that no one can take it away from me.
So what actually is in a name? Our identity. The name we are comfortable with is what is important and no one can take it away from us, even if they refuse to call us by our name. Even more important is that who we are is tied up in our inner name.
It’s like when someone called my son stupid in elementary school. He’d come home, full of indignation and said, “MOM! So-in-so called me stupid!” I’d say, “Well, are you stupid?” “Well, nooo,” he’d reply, “NO, I am not stupid.” So then I say (isn’t this fun?), “Well I guess that makes so-in-so a liar, huh! And we never believe what liars say, right?” Light bulb! “Ohhh, right!,” he’d reply, then go on his merry way, satisfied.
So what are you calling yourself? (well, you knew there was a point to this post, right?)
Is your inner voice calling you… stupid? A failure? disorganized? overweight? slow? depressed? stressed? fat? dumb? poor? ugly? incapable? a mess? You are the only one who can change your name, inside and out, just as I did in waaaay back in high school.
Sure, you may have to fight others to make them accept your new name, but you can do it – and you can ignore them!
It is a fact that we become what we believe inside and what we call ourselves, inside and out. When you are talking to yourself (what? I’m the only one??)… when we are talking to ourselves, what do we say? We mess up something and we say “Oh ______” – what? What do you say? “Oh you dummy?” “Man, you are so stupid!” “What a screw up?” “I must be losing my mind?” “I can’t ever do this right!” “I’m never going to lose this weight!” “Nothing ever works for me.” “I am SUCH a loser!”
Our inner voice is far stronger than we know and believe. No matter what someone calls us on the outside, our inner voice is the one we really believe. Trust me. When Alpha Hubby used to say, “You look beautiful” I’d make this raspberry sound, because really? My inner voice knew I didn’t look beautiful. It frustrated him to no end. To him I was beautiful and he didn’t like that I didn’t believe him. But even if I did look beautiful, my inner voice said, “Nah, look at that or look at this” – something that made me feel ugly. Zit, wrinkle, pudge, high forehead – whatever.
I think we should make a decision that from today forward, we are going to work on this. We are going to begin by making a determination to only call ourselves positive names – ones we need to believe – ones we want to be. It takes practice. It takes tuning our ear to hearing what we really say about ourselves.
HI! My name is Nan. My name is also organized. My name is healthy and fit. My name is thankful. My name is joyful. My name is disciplined. My name is wealthy. My name is successful. My name is complete! My name is “wow am I an excellent organized disciplined amazing housekeeper!!” (Ha! Hahaha)…. ok I’ll have to work on that one.
JOY is becoming the best you can be – and it starts right there, inside you!
*What’s Your Name, Don and Juan
A Boy Named Sue, Johnny Cash