When I think back on who I was in my late teens right after I left high school, through college and Air Force, it is hard to believe I was THAT girl. I was cut loose after living with strict parents. I was also dumber than a brick but by golly, I was going to have fun. I was Unshackled. I was Set Free.
I was thoughtless, immature, and a bit wild. Not by everyone’s wild standards since my friends were far wilder than I was, but still. They would have been Mega Wild women. I was just Real. More than most; less than totally insane.
I danced the night away, clubbing. There was drinking, smoking, and I was well able to out-curse a sailor (like that is so important). Let me tell you, I was Potty Mouth Extraordinaire. Not necessarily in front of everyone but I STILL remember when I let the F-bomb fly in front of my mom. You don’t EVEN want to know her reaction – and I was a grown up by world standards. I think that was the beginning of the end of the F-bomb.
Everything was far out, right on and groovy. Can you dig it? I was up for a lot of things that I super cringe at now. Yes, I inhaled but I was far too chicken to carry on with that for very long. I also didn’t like being out of control so could never graduate to hard anything (thank God). In college I saw what LSD did to some friends. I never forgot, so in the back of my mind it was, “Nope, not going there. Wanna keep my brainz!
I was a prude about one thing – sex. I was the rare duck who decided to save it for marriage. And let me tell you something: college boys were very creative trying to get me to give it up. The Psychology Major said there was something inherently wrong with me and he could help me. The Football Player just wanted to score, baby! The Druggie just thought I should get high and let it all hang out. The Cool Dude just thought he could romance me: by taking my hand and putting it… there. While his girlfriend, my best friend, was out of town.
BUT – I’m taking this trip down bad memory lane because of one thing. I lost both the bad and the good parts of being a Real Wild One after one too many bad trips. No, not drugs, bad-for-me men in my life. I ended up being pretty messed up in my head and lost my confidence, both in myself and interacting with others.
I could go on but the point was that it wasn’t until – well, first getting back right with God and figuring out who I was in Him (and clue: she wasn’t a drinking, smoking cursing extraordinaire!). Developing that relationship, I changed to the point that when I first moved to AR a new friend took to calling me “Nun” instead of “Nan”. Yeah, I was that straight.
Secondly? I met Alpha Hubby. Falling in love with Alpha hubby changed everything, too. He helped me regain confidence. He helped me finish healing. He helped me unpack unnecessary baggage and toss the bags. Most importantly, he helped me find myself, that Real Wild One, again
With him, I am brave again. With him, there is no backlash if I do something silly or stupid. With him, there is no judgement. With him I can explore. With him, I am the best me I can be. With him I am safe.
So since today is his birthday, I am giving him the gift of my inner Real Wild One – the one thing he really likes for his birthday. Rendezvous, candlelight, a small glass of bubbly, romantic music, slow dancing – then, behind closed doors… oh wait – I can’t tell you THAT. You don’t need to know what a Real Wild One does to an Alpha Hubby.
Heh, heh, heh. I’m a wild one, baby, I’m a wild one…