I have pretty much been in a daze since April so I missed most of this year.
I survived Thanksgiving, Leland’s November birthday and Christmas! I call in a win. I did really okay – until Christmas. I solved that by planning to simply ignore it!
My 9′ tree is too tall for this house. Leland loved decorating for Christmas so I didn’t even unpack anything (it was in storage so I couldn’t have found it anyway). I planned to simply thank God for His son and call it a night. I was going to be a semi-scrooge.
Friends had other ideas. One sent me a goody box with odds and ends – things I love – but each one was wrapped up in Christmas paper and I wasn’t allowed to open them until Christmas morning. She gave me something so special – something to look forward to besides spending a day missing Leland. Thank you, Shelly.
One gave me cash and commanded that I only use it to buy what I needed for a special Christmas dinner. So I did and had a very special meal. without slaving over a hot stove or choking on it because I was crying too hard. Then she turned around and sent me provision such as a case of toilet paper, paper towels, laundry soap, and the like. Thank you, Carolyn.
My neighbors (whom I really don’t know) checked up on me. People texted or called. There were so many little things that made the week extraordinary. No one would leave me alone so I wasn’t allowed to be a semi-reclusive scrooge. Thank you to Mona, Susan, Michelle, Barbara, Joshua, and so many others.
Going into this New Year, it is a time of new beginnings. NO. I don’t want to go on without Leland – what’s the fun in that? But since he decided to party hearty in heaven, I decided I was going to live.
Thank you to everyone who has kept me in their prayers. Thank you for showing me the love of God. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for checking on me. Thank you for being a sounding board when I needed one. Thank you for your words of wisdom. Thank you for financial and material help. Thank you for just showing me how blessed I am.
Most of all, thank you to God, who challenged me to live.
Yeah, and okay – thank you for not allowing me to be a semi-reclusive scrooge.

Dearest Nan,
So glad that you managed through the Christmas period on your own!
Yes, it feels fuzzy when having friends that care and that gift you with meaningful and useful things.
Since we had to move from Georgia to Pennsylvania, we have never ever had a Christmas tree. We gave it all away. This year, due to the painters being here from November 29 and not yet finished the exterior… We got rain in-between. Had asked them in April but the weather did not cooperate this year!
Christmas 38 years ago in The Netherlands was special as we got together with family and we had two days; also 2nd Christmas Day. Miss that…
Always feel glad once we’re past those days and I HATE the commercialism around Christmas. We never did give gifts on Christmas, but on December 6, Saint Nicholas…
Also the abrupt ending of all this in the USA is something I never get used to. Back home we kept the nativity till Epiphany, January 6.
Both of us only celebrate Christmas in the religious way. Was sure glad I got to sing in the chancel choir with orchestra, Händel’s Messiah twice. That uplifts one’s soul as it is oh so heavenly.
Did a blogpost about it with link to YouTube video.
I’ve been dealing with my severe mid-back arthritis again and sure look forward to being pain free! Can’t take any meds due to my kidneys but the Turmeric capsules sure do help for certain hours.
Receive a killer hug and I’m proud of you for having made it this far ‘solo’.
Mariette
MARIETTE VANDENMUNCKHOF-VEDDER recently posted…WORST Ever USPS Experience
I recently realized I hadn’t seen any LBD posts by you recently and I wondered if I had accidentally been unsubscribed from your blog emails. Now I see that I am still subscribed as I received an email when you published this. I can imagine that “firsts” without your love must be very painful. I admire your strength in allowing caring friends to pull you beyond your pain during the Christmas and New Years holidays. I haven’t posted on my blog since May of 2020 when I learned what was causing my back pain. My “word” for 2022 is “reimagine”, as in the need to reimagine my future life now shaped by living with multiple myeloma. You are welcome to use my word as you reimagine your life going forward without your beloved Leland physically by your side. Best wishes to you for 2022.
I had just as much fun as you (maybe more). Thank you to you as well. Thank you for being such a blessing in my life!