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10 benefits of being a loser

HA! Gotcha there with that title, huh!? Well, I’m sorry if you thought you could find some reason to justify being a loser (snicker), but this is not that place. No, no! I’m not calling you a loser because you’re reading this. It was a trick title to sucker you into reading my blog, really! NO one is calling you a loser! Stop thinking of yourself as one. Really! You are NOT a loser. I’m just talking about weight loss . *Sigh* people are SO touchy.

OK, onward. I sometimes think people get so accustomed to being overweight that they forget some of the benefits of losing any excess weight they carry. So let’s review a few, shall we? (Warning: some sexual & personal content)

Benefits of losing weight:

1 – You never again have to worry if you’ll fit in that chair with the arms. Or that booth in the restaurant where you want to be comfortable without the table rubbing your tummy. Or wonder if that chair will hold you when it makes that creaking sound (hopefully, only wooden chairs do this to you, right??) Or hear your husband groan when you sit on his lap in that creaking chair.

2 – You can wear jeans or slacks without an elastic waistband. Imagine – real jeans with a button and hole, and a zipper! No elastic in sight. NO MORE PULL-UPS – whoo hoo. La la la, I’m a big girl now… well, no, not big…

3 – You can walk up stairs without breathing like a steam locomotive! You can get to the top of the stairs and begin a conversation without saying, “Hold on a minute, puff puff. I’ll be right with you, wheeze, wheeze.”

4 – You can find pretty new words to describe yourself such SVELTE which means “slender, especially gracefully slender in figure; lithe”. Doesn’t that sound so ladylike? Sure beats being a stevedore.

5 – The original meaning of the word stevedore entered the English language (via Spain or Portugal) through its use by sailors. It started as a phonetic spelling of Spanish estibador or Portuguese estivador, meaning a man who stuffs – so how about NO MORE WOMEN WHO STUFF? Of course, they meant someone who loads a ship but I got to thinking about women who load a plate at an all-you-can-eat bar, in public, overweight, while everyone looks on in judgmental disgust. In the background you hear, “Why doesn’t she control her eating?”

6 – You can have a romantic evening in that deep Jacuzzi tub without worrying about how you’re going to get out. You can sit there enjoying the bubblebath, candlelight and music without thinking of a sweet way of saying, “Honey, can you haul me out of here?” Or imagine not being afraid to sit on the ground or a low sofa? Not needing help getting up (or out)?

7 – Sorry about this one but some people deal with this. It is VERY personal. You don’t have to worry about personal hygiene ever again. You can… ummm … wipe certain places without being a contortionist. You can feel fresh and clean. There, I said it. While it isn’t really publicly talked about, it is a true problem for those those considered obese by the medical profession. Imagine the relief of never having to worry about or deal with that issue again!

8 – One of my favorite – you can bend over and paint your toenails a wild bright red or a beautiful feminine pink. You don’t need help clipping your toenails and you can easily rub scented lotion on your legs and feet without leaning sideways and breathing hard!

9 – You will no longer have a closet floor full of clothes you tried on that didn’t fit so you threw a fit and tossed them in the floor of your closet. Or even better your closet no longer resembles a clothing store with clothes separated into 10 different sizes, sandwiched between one end labeled fat clothes and the other end labeled skinny clothes. You won’t be late to work or dates because you can walk in and everything in your closet fits.

10 – And the top benefit of losing weight? You can make love to your husband without worrying about how you look naked. You can be more creative about your love life again. You can feel sexy and seductive without fear. You will believe again that all those sexy little nighties look good on you (at least HE thinks so). Best of all, there will be no more wheezy romantic little sounds like, “Get off, get off, I can’t breathe.”

Nuff said. Got any other benefits to add?

7 thoughts on “10 benefits of being a loser

  1. Wow……. I can't think of a thing you left off on that list!
    I shamefully fall in the #8,9, and 10 category LOL
    My closet looks like a used clothing store!!

  2. You only hit a few but they are biggies. Excess weight is such a thief of life. Slender people can take those simple pleasures for granted. But the point is for overweight people to take back their life and not be limited by fat. I realize there are people with the attitude “being overweight is ok” and everyone should accept it. I disagree. What about medical problems created by excess fat? Insurance will pay those medical bills but who really pays the price? Is dangerous surgery really the answer? What if they don't deal with the underlying issues that caused them to overeat? And what if the overweight ones don't have insurance? For those who want to regain control of their life and live it to the fullest, I say bully for them!

  3. You are right on! My “regular” weight, the weight I've been at most of my adult life, is about 155-160 (I'm 5'8″.) But when I gained a ton of pregnancy weight – THREE TIMES! – I was surprised at all the physical limitations I gained right along with it. I should have expected them, I guess, but it sure was a blow when I realized that I could no longer get up from the floor without heaving myself around and stuff like that. One of the biggest perks of weight loss is regaining the ability to do those kinds of things … things that I once took for granted!

    1. You got that right! It's like you're a circus acrobat, getting the lay of the land to figure out HOW you're going to get up without looking like a fool (smile). Each area I gain back I realize how limited I was. It's like it sneaks up on you so you don't even realize it's there until it's gone. Thank God it's GOING.

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