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30PDC Days #9-12 Love Does Not Hurt

11 April 2011

Pamela and I are at it again!  30PDC – 30 Positive Days Challenge to say something nice to and about your partner every day for 30 days – see details (and rules) HERE and over at Pamela’s Road to Joy site HERE.

Days 2-4 are chronicled HERE – (the right link this time)
Days 5-8 are HERE

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In mid-70’s a group called Nazereth had a hit song:  Love Hurts:

Love hurts – love scars
Love wounds and mars
Any heart not tough
Or strong enough
To take a lot of pain
Take a lot of pain
Love is like the clouds
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts

These lovely depressing lyrics were so perfect if one wanted to wallow in depression!  Oh my, this song was a heartbreak anthem and I loved it so much – so full of angst and agony which fit where I was when it came out. 

And you know what?  Those lyrics are absolutely NOT true.

If it hurts, scars, wounds, and mars, it isn’t love.  If it has conditions, it isn’t love.  If it demands its own way, it isn’t real love.  If it says, “If you love me, you will _______ (fill in the blank)” – nope, not love!  If it says “I love you but…” it isn’t love because using the word “but” means every word that came before it is erased.

Real love is unconditional and while it should be nurtured and protected, it does not “love with expectations.” 

Alpha Hubby excels at unconditional love.  He loves me.  Period.  End of sentence.   There is no “I love you because you do this for me” or “I love you ‘cause you are purtier than a speckled pup” or “If you do this, I’ll be your best friend…” err, sorry, that was high school.

So here we are, Days #9-#11 – and I just want the world to know – I love this man.  The further we go with this challenge, the more I realize what a treasure I have in Alpha Hubby.  I thought I knew that but once I began focusing on all his good points, his goodness, I know more than ever that this is one amazing man.

Day #9 – I love how he takes care of himself, working out, looking sharp.  He goes to the gym but also does a lot of physical labor around the ranch which is why Day #10 is that I love his arms – and not just because they are strong and manly man arms (smile).   It is why I like my signature avatar so much – a man holding the woman with one arm.  The implied strength in this dance move reminds me of Alpha Hubby.

His arms will wrap around me and hold me in a slow dance in the kitchen.  Or they will gentle and hold me if I just need a hug.  Or as a prelude to *bleepity bleep* which is always good!  Always!  I can depend on his strength.

Day #11 – I do love how I can trust him to always be the same.  Unless he is very, very, very tired – very – Alpha Hubby’s even temperament is almost always the same, smooth and laid back.  Oh, there have been some voices-raised discussions about really dumb stuff (and usually my fault for being a terrier who won’t let the bone go), but on the whole, I can count on him to be the calm voice of reason.  That is an incredible and amazing “good point” about him.

BUT, on the other hand, if he is short-tempered, then I know he is very, very tired from working too hard (pretty much two full-time jobs sometimes) so that is still the same thing – I know it isn’t personal and that he just needs a break and some sleep.

I’m going to go ahead and do Day #12, too.  I love that Alpha Hubby is a man of Honor.  With Alpha Hubby, when he spoke his vows, they were forever.  He is a man of his word and means what he says.  He will not and does not change (which has more to do with God than me which is a very good thing).  

His word being good is very important to him, as is his name.  His name is synonymous with integrity, and people know that.  When he says something, people can trust that word. 

There are no hidden or sudden surprises.  I don’t really like surprises, or should I say, being caught off guard.  With Alpha Hubby, I always know where I stand – firmly in his heart, totally loved. 

And that is a wonderful place to live.

.

Al Green, Let’s Stay Together

34 thoughts on “30PDC Days #9-12 Love Does Not Hurt”

  3. You are very correct in the deinfintion of love. That song is wrong, because love happens between two people, how can you love someone if they don’t love you or treat you with respect? You can’t. That is something completely different.

    SO sweet to write great things about your husband. Will he read it? Mine would be ALL over that!! Alot of the things that you mentioned of your husband, I would agree to with my own!

    Love your site! Thanks for the positive message today!

  4. You are very correct in the deinfintion of love. That song is wrong, because love happens between two people, how can you love someone if they don’t love you or treat you with respect? You can’t. That is something completely different.

    SO sweet to write great things about your husband. Will he read it? Mine would be ALL over that!! Alot of the things that you mentioned of your husband, I would agree to with my own!

    Love your site! Thanks for the positive message today!

  7. You are so right about that song. I know I had many years where my love meter was set on the wrong things. I had no idea what true love was. I too have a husband who’s great with unconditional love. He never takes his love away from me to hurt me or manipulate me, I’ve had too much of that already. Alpha husband rocks and I’m happy you’ve taken the time to honor him. It’s amazing how much that improves an already good relationship.

  8. You are so right about that song. I know I had many years where my love meter was set on the wrong things. I had no idea what true love was. I too have a husband who’s great with unconditional love. He never takes his love away from me to hurt me or manipulate me, I’ve had too much of that already. Alpha husband rocks and I’m happy you’ve taken the time to honor him. It’s amazing how much that improves an already good relationship.

  13. I doooooo agreee.

    Great one Nan.

    And, here’s one for you:

    I love that you have become my e-friend, and that you make me think about being a better person and a better partner to my husband. You inspire an attitude of gratitude in others and have a beautiful, beautiful heart. I love that you do not flinch in the face of naysayers and scoffers, and that you do not worry about things that are not important. You know what is important, you live your priorities. You make us laugh, smile, and believe. You have risen above troubles and heartaches most of the negative ones out there have never seen. I am honored to be your friend, and thank you for joining forces for another challenge.

  14. I doooooo agreee.

    Great one Nan.

    And, here’s one for you:

    I love that you have become my e-friend, and that you make me think about being a better person and a better partner to my husband. You inspire an attitude of gratitude in others and have a beautiful, beautiful heart. I love that you do not flinch in the face of naysayers and scoffers, and that you do not worry about things that are not important. You know what is important, you live your priorities. You make us laugh, smile, and believe. You have risen above troubles and heartaches most of the negative ones out there have never seen. I am honored to be your friend, and thank you for joining forces for another challenge.

  17. What a great challenge. Technically speaking, it shouldn’t be a “challenge” though, everyone should say positive things about the ones they love all the time, not just because someone challenges us to do so. But still – a great idea.

    And: I love that Nazareth song you mentioned (actually, just yesterday when I was at the petrol station I saw a poster of that group and realised they’re still around!) and even though I agree with everything you say, there is one little comment I have to make: I think, if it’s true love, it can still hurt when the other person is not responding to you. I think people who find their soulmate are extremely lucky – but those, who find their soulmate and their soulmate finds them at the same time (meaning those who find each other and admit it) are the most lucky. And as of the others… well… they know it hurts.

  18. What a great challenge. Technically speaking, it shouldn’t be a “challenge” though, everyone should say positive things about the ones they love all the time, not just because someone challenges us to do so. But still – a great idea.

    And: I love that Nazareth song you mentioned (actually, just yesterday when I was at the petrol station I saw a poster of that group and realised they’re still around!) and even though I agree with everything you say, there is one little comment I have to make: I think, if it’s true love, it can still hurt when the other person is not responding to you. I think people who find their soulmate are extremely lucky – but those, who find their soulmate and their soulmate finds them at the same time (meaning those who find each other and admit it) are the most lucky. And as of the others… well… they know it hurts.

  19. I love how you make me laugh. You are so funny.
    I love that you have made my life fun. You are the most fun I have ever had.
    I love that you are not a drama queen or a (bleep).
    I love how you are so full of surprises. I am never sure what you will do (except important things). As to whether you will be blonde or red and mabye lace and (bleep, bleep, bleep)

  20. I love how you make me laugh. You are so funny.
    I love that you have made my life fun. You are the most fun I have ever had.
    I love that you are not a drama queen or a (bleep).
    I love how you are so full of surprises. I am never sure what you will do (except important things). As to whether you will be blonde or red and mabye lace and (bleep, bleep, bleep)

  25. What a beautiful and incredibly sincere post. That is true love right there. Makes me want to be extra nice to B when he gets home later. 🙂

    And that Al Green song? oh, gets me every time.

  26. What a beautiful and incredibly sincere post. That is true love right there. Makes me want to be extra nice to B when he gets home later. 🙂

    And that Al Green song? oh, gets me every time.

  27. Hey, Nan, stoping by to say hello after so long of not comenting on your blog. I’ve been very busy focusing on my second book, and all I have done is go to fantasy world and write, come back to reality to my honey and kids and the usual responsabilities, and then go back to fantasy land form more writing.

    I’ve been reading your posts through my phone from time to time, but since I’m sitting today at my computer and stumble upon your post on my email. I decided it was time to say hello. Love the hearts and the posts. I love the arms of my man, specially his hands. They wake me up every morning with a romantic subtle caress on my back that is eager for more. Ahhhh, love!!! It feels so good.

    Much love, and hugs to you, Nan!

  28. Hey, Nan, stoping by to say hello after so long of not comenting on your blog. I’ve been very busy focusing on my second book, and all I have done is go to fantasy world and write, come back to reality to my honey and kids and the usual responsabilities, and then go back to fantasy land form more writing.

    I’ve been reading your posts through my phone from time to time, but since I’m sitting today at my computer and stumble upon your post on my email. I decided it was time to say hello. Love the hearts and the posts. I love the arms of my man, specially his hands. They wake me up every morning with a romantic subtle caress on my back that is eager for more. Ahhhh, love!!! It feels so good.

    Much love, and hugs to you, Nan!

  31. I’ve been off line, did you miss me? As usual I come here and you’ve hit it out of the ballpark. another challenge and another change to learn there really are good guys out there. I love this song and post.

  32. I’ve been off line, did you miss me? As usual I come here and you’ve hit it out of the ballpark. another challenge and another change to learn there really are good guys out there. I love this song and post.

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