All Blogs, Gratitude, Romance

A true test of true love

When I started this journey a few months ago, I had already asked alpha hubby to be my personal trainer.  I knew it was a dangerous thing to do.  It could have disintegrated into something with the potential to ruin our happy marriage.  You know, “Leave me alone, you’re not the boss of me!” when he asked me if I’d done my exercise that day. 

It takes a special relationship to give one spouse permission to have authority over the other spouse.  I told alpha hubby that I wanted him to dog me and not cut me any slack.  I know what I was doing.  I know myself well.  I knew if any slack as given, I’d slip through that crack and stay as far away from exercise as I could.

Alpha hubby has been faithful to the exercising at the gym, exercising at home, and eating right for several years now.  He has lost his weight, toned up his body and given me something to look forward to – no, not his cute bootie although I do like it!  No, he’s lost the weight and toned up doing exactly what I am capable of doing – cut back on calories and amped up the exercise.  Not a special program for men – just the old-fashioned “less calories in than you expend.”

Of course, if he got tired of my excuses and quit, then we’d have, “Hey, you were supposed to stick with me no matter what.  How could you wimp out like that?”  Of course what I call wimping out is what he calls protecting himself from any further emotional and verbal abuse, but that is because it is that male-female perspective, not because I was screaming at him to quit dogging me.  Poor guy.

I finally realized that when he “gave up” on me it was because I had given up on myself.  There is only so much “depending on others” that I can allow myself.  If I don’t take responsibility for my weight loss, then once the goal is met and alpha hubby walks away, I’ll simply go back to my old habits and the weight will crawl back on.

One person can’t be responsible for another.  I tried to tell alpha hubby this when he blamed me for his Suzy Q addiction but that’s a story for another day.

Take responsibility for your weight loss program.  Getting help is fine and dandy, and in my case, very necessary.  But at the end of the day, no one is responsible for your body but you.  

  There will be Alpha Hubby postings as time goes by.  He’s shy right now … probably  the only time he’s been shy in his life!