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As Time Goes By

This is one of my most favorite songs – and I’ve never even seen the movie Casablanca.  What most people don’t know is that the song was not written to start with “You must remember this” – there were actually three verses prior and “you must remember this” was part of the chorus.

So when Ilsa told Sam to “Play it, Sam, play ‘As Time Goes By'”, the song sung by Dooley Wilson in Casablanca (and here) didn’t include those verses in the movie.  Probably time constraints.  It’s a shame, really, because it explained so much about the song.

This day and age we’re living in
Gives cause for apprehension
With speed and new invention
And things like fourth dimension.

Yet we get a trifle weary
With Mr. Einstein’s theory.
So we must get down to earth at times
Relax, relieve the tension

And no matter what the progress
Or what may yet be proved
The simple facts of life are such
They cannot be removed.

Even though this was written in 1931, those verses still fit today.  It really does still boil down to “the simple facts of life”… that they really “are such (that) they cannot be removed.”  Love and lovers.  Some things never change over time; they are fundamental.

You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by

It is those couples who retain those fundamentals, who remember what is important and what fundamentals really apply as time goes by, who will remain lovers their entire lives.  We really need those kisses.  We really need those *sighs* caught in between two lovers as they touch, ache, love.  We really need romance, passion, and the feelings that go along with the committment.  Without the fundamentals, love can wither.  Without love, there is nothing.

Kissing, sighing, loving are fundamental to an intimate relationship.  Romance is a fundamental.  Touch is fundamental.  The things of life are there (children, bills, jobs, friends, other family), but they should never interfere or interrupt those fundamentals of life between lovers.

And when two lovers woo
They still say I love you
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by

It is necessary to woo and keep wooing.  I love that word “woo”.  The original meaning was “to court a woman.”  Better is “To seek the affection of with intent to romance” which goes both ways.  Best are the synonyms – “to court, pursue, chase.”  Woo, court, pursue, chase – fundamentals to any relationship!

When a couple first meet, they woo, they court, they pursue, they chase.  A dance that leads to intimacy, to becoming a couple.  Now here is another fundamental:  KEEP IT UP.  My mom once said to me, “Just because you marry doesn’t mean to stop doing what it was that caught the attention in the first place.”

That is a fundamental I find myself working on all the time – keeping up the earlier fundamentals.  I have areas I haven’t done well in but he still woos me.  I need to be woo-worthy!  To be that woman he first married, only better now.

Moonlight and love songs
Never out of date
Hearts full of passion
Jealousy and hate
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That, no one can deny

Although we work to keep jealousy and hate out of our life space, Alpha Hubby is everything to me.  I do need him (of course, he must have me to live!).   He saved me.  He helped me heal.  He gave me the sweetest dreams to replace the nightmares.   He pushed and prodded me into being confident enough to re-seek my best me.  Could I have found myself without him?  Sure.  But he made the journey shorter and sweeter, and gave me the one thing I’d never had before – a backup, support, a foundation to lean on, and the power of BELIEF.

It’s still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by

He believes in me.  He is fierce about it.  He had to be (and occasionally still has to) in order to convince me.  His belief is what gave me the ability to put the past behind me once and for all, and to seek to be a stronger, whole me.   To pursue my dreams whole-heartedly.

There is power in knowing someone is there to catch me, prop me up then PUSH me back out there to go at it again.   To be surrounded in complete acceptance is a heady experience.  He has given me THE fairy tale.  He helped me kill the wicked witch then gave me the weapons to go stomp out those imps who would cause me to doubt myself.

A fairy tale ending.  We really did ride off into the sunset toward a better life together.  We live it.  Why?  Because we do not forget those fundamentals… as time goes by.

Oh man, I need to lighten up!

I kissed a frog.  And I liked it.

Heh heh heh.

17 thoughts on “As Time Goes By

  1. I love Casablanca! Just saw “Roman Holiday” again recently….another classic!

    I like your points in this post…

    Bottom line..we’re here to “lift the other person” up…through the simple things.

  2. beautful, dear one. i thought of you this weekend. i was at a conference, and eric was with me. he had arranged ahead for tulips in our room, b/c hello it was a friday, right? 😉 so anyway, as we were leaving, a woman that i have known for 19 years said, oh wow, who got the tulips? i raised my hand. and she was like, oh. well, you guys are newlyweds. did i tell you we’ve been married 20 years?

    i felt sorry for her. i don’t think he ever bought her tulips on fridays.

    certainly, my ex didn’t.

    i didn’t let it take away from my tulips, mind you, but it peeved me mildly for a short moment.

    it is about the fundamentals, the things that will never change, but that, if you ignore them, change everything.

    as time goes by.

    i’ve gotten a lot of tulips.

    love you nannypoo.


  3. ~~~~AHhhhhhhh, ‘

    I love that scene when Bogie walks in the bar and says “Play it, Sam. Play it. If she can take it. I can take it. Play it!”

    CLassic. Romantic. Brilliant. Heartbreaking. Sexy.

    Your frog transformed into Alpha Man. I thank God you have him, dearest Nan.

    We all deserve a man like that.

    I have one, Too.

    Luv Ya.


  4. So are you saying I looked like a frog? The same goes for you: you saved me from a life of slime and jumping from lily pad to lily pad, never acomplishing anything, only to be swallowed up and never having lived! That is what you did for me – help me live.

  5. Hi Nan,

    When I first discovered your blog (through the lovely and amazing Tracy) you were just about to take your break, so when I noticed this post in her side bar at her new blog, I had to come check it out. So glad I did. Love it!

    It’s easy to drift apart in a marriage (or any relationship) when you forget to nurture “the couple”. This may sound hoaky as hell, but Hubbs and I are empty nesters now and it’s like we’re still newlyweds. Why? Because we made it a point to keep the passion a priority. Not saying it was always an easy thing to do, but it was and is an integral part of the foundation of our marriage.

    To make a long story short (too late) Amen, Sista! It’s all about the woo! Glad you’re back… Hope you have a woooonderful weekend! ;~)

  6. Hi Nan! Fabulous post. I think the basic idea that people should stick to the fundamentals is pertinent to everyone, individually as well as couples. If we are lucky/smart/intuitive/lucky enough to figure out what is really important in our lives, then we can find that basic, core happiness. Am I sounding too serious here? I’m reflective today, so sue me. LOL
    Big hugs my friend. LOVED this post!

  7. Ironically, my favorite Family Guy episode features that song heavily… it’s the one where they go to Martha’s Vineyard so that Brian can win some writing award or other…

    but anyway…

    you’re absolutely right. As much hate as there seems to be in the world there will always be room for love and lovers, courtship, wooing…

  8. As usual when I come over to check your posts out I am not disappointed. I learn a little, laugh a lot and sometimes get a tear in my eye. I really like your blog. This is my favorite of all time evah movie. Evah. Loved hearing tht song again. Thank you.

  9. Nan, I couldn’t agree with you more! Without the fundamentals of love, we only have the shell of a relationship. I too love the word woo. I think it’s because it means to court, something that sadly, many men forget to keep doing once they marry. Women too can be guilty of turning into judgemental and criticizing ninnies and this is detrimental to a relationship. Back in the old days, now that was courting! If only chaperones hadn’t been a must as well! Sigh. 🙂

    1. Oh you said it just right! Men forget and women can turn into judgmental critical ninnies (love that word). Both can start looking at all the negative things about one another instead of focusing on the positive.

      Hey chaperones kept everyone safer!

  10. Nan-
    Thank you…been sick and stressed lately, found myself “BLAH, BLAH, AND DOUBLE DANG BLAH” first thing this morning at poor Mr. Wilson.
    I didn’t completely disgrace myself, though. I gave it 5 minutes, let him know that “shortest peep” (aka Seanie) would be spending the nite away…and oh by the way would he consent to be my date for an evening out?

    It’s not always the Mr. asking…we need to remember to woo and pursue every so often from our end as well.

    As usual, you are in my head.
    But that’s why I love ya so much:)
    Have an A-Mazing weekend my friend!

  11. I loved this post!! It is so true simplicity … and wooing and courting, treasuring it is what is real! I thank the universe and God for the sending my sweetheart my way… Like you said – could have gotten through some things — but with his love, support, encouragement this detour has certainly been much more tolerable.

    Love the photo on the bottom … after all Prince’s are frogs , until kissed by a princess , that is meant for them! Wishing you a fabulous evening..Blessings, xo HHL

  12. You are so right. If couples just remembered what they did in the beginning of the courtship and kept applying that, there would be fewer divorces. I thought the saying was Play it again sam?

  13. Where have you been? You don’t seem to be writing as much as you had been. Anyway I loved this post. I was feeling all mushy and romantic with tears in my eyes. Then what happens? You kissed a frog. You are weird, girl, just weird.

    1. Since the internet blackout, I haven’t had much time to write! Once I get some things completed, I’ll have more time. And just in case people wonder, I am not really calling Alpha Hubby a frog, per se. Just that he is a real prince (smile).

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