Oh so very long ago, like most women, I was drawn to the classic… bad boy. It started when I was in high school and found out the leather-jacket-wearing dude liked me. Nothing ever happened with that but still. I remember thinking how cool it was that THE James Dean-bad boy in school liked me. So shoot me, I was young.
Don’t know what made him the bad boy – the leather jacket? Or that saying that the bad boy is always drawn to the good girl? He was probably a perfectly normal guy who’d been put in the bad boy clique simply because of that leather jacket. T
hat just wasn’t done back then when we still had rules about how short our skirts could be. I mean, does anyone else remember having to kneel and have the hem length measure to make sure the skirt wasn’t more than 2” above the knees??
Doesn’t matter – my point is that women seem to be trained to be drawn to the bad boy and to scoff the good one. The good one is boring and the bad one… well, wowzers. Is it that the good guy is bland? Is it that the bad guy is exciting?
Then again, could it be as simple as this hysterical 1996 Nissan television commercial – that sums it all up just fine: Barbie, Ken & GI Joe (Go pause the music on the sidebar before you click on this U-tube video):
Poor Ken-wannabe – so helpless in his sweater around the neck, buffed nails and plastic-coifed hair way. Can’t keep his woman. Locked her in that ivory tower of a mansion and bored her to tears. How can he compete against a guy who came out of the jaws of a dinosaur? A manly man? Just looking at Ken you’d think, “That wuss! He couldn’t protect me against a herd of baseballs!” (Private joke)
So by the time I met Alpha Hubby at work, I’d had my gut full of bad boys and was NOT interested in going that route again. I did not plan to ever marry again much less trust my heart to any guy, bad or good.
And here was Alpha Hubby (tired of me taking his picture) – he was such a nice guy – an engineer working at the nuclear plant, raising healthy beef on the side, very precise and, ummm, shall we say – anal?? Attention to details – which is really nice when applied to some situations like… *ahem* be that as it may…
He was a nice guy and so nice to me – can you imagine that? Like that was a sin or something? Being nice to me? I even told him – now remember we’d only known one another 7 weeks before we got married so we didn’t know one another THAT well. But while we didn’t know each other’s favorite type movie or food choices, we knew one another’s heart. So I told him, truthfully, that I’d never dated a nice guy before and wasn’t sure how I’d handle it.
I love looking back and remembering some of the doggoned stupidest things I said to him back then. All in the name of protecting my heart from being crushed again. Duh duh duh duhmb.
So after we married, we spent many nights sitting up and talking, to get to know one another. The more we talked, the more I realized I’d not married a nice guy after all; I’d married a reformed bad boy.
It’s kind of funny because he was probably a bad, bad boy but he swears to me, like Jessica Rabbit in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”: “I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.”
I have the benefit now of a bit of wisdom that comes with age – the fact that there are no real bad boys or good boys. There are simply men and males. Males take no responsibility, cheat and who are all about “me first” and run at the first sign of trouble. No way a male will help around the house or take on the tough jobs (like dealing with bill collectors). Males get their confidence by the number of notches on their bedpost. Males couldn’t care less how badly they treat their women because women don’t matter. Males believe women are only useful for one thing.
Men are the total opposite to the point they are honorable in a world that has forgotten what that word means. Men put their family and loved ones first, protecting to the point of death. Men know the woman is capable and can take care of herself, and like that about them. Men walk in integrity and their word is good. Men take responsibility for their actions and you can trust your life – and heart – with a real man.
I married a real man. There is security in what he calls predictable. He doesn’t have his nails polished (mainly because after work, he’s mucking with cows and bulls) and fights me tooth and nail about protecting his skin from the sun. He doesn’t have an feminine side – I tell him I am his only feminine side and that’s that. I can tell him and tell him that I love him in a cowboy hat but no. Not yet, anyway.
He is all man, believes in God, America, true love, hard work, and honesty. He’s not John Wayne – what most people think of as manly but who actually played some very chavunistic characters. Alpha Hubby isn’t a man’s man, per se; he’s just my man. He is masculine to the point that it doesn’t take much to push him over into the over-dominating stage; but he doesn’t scare me. He may be an alpha and growl at me sometimes, but he would never hurt me.
So in a world where the choice is Ken or GI Joe? Give me a GI Joe anytime! Nah, give me Alpha Hubby. He’s gifted to be my mate. He’s GI Joe enough for me!
Bad to the Bone, George Thorogood There are parts of this song that are SO true about Alpha Hubby (hoho) – but he is NOT going to be breaking any more hearts.