Song for this Post: Crazy sung by Kenny Rogers
When I first met Alpha Hubby, he confused me. He was not like anyone else I’d ever been around. He also did things to and for me that did not seem to be normal (at least to me).
He liked to place his hand on my cheek, in tenderness, as he gazed into my eyes. It made me very uncomfortable because it felt so exposed. I asked why he did that. He said that when he did, he could read me. I understand that now but at the time I wasn’t sure I wanted anyone to read me, much less this… this… MAN person.
If we went out to eat, he would hold out my chair for me at the table. He also focused on ME completely during conversation. He asked about me, wanted to know about me, and cared about my answers. This may be normal for a lot of people, but it really wasn’t for me.
The first time he opened my car door, it felt special. The fact he expected me to wait while he walked around to open the car door, then help me out, felt very strange. I kept thinking then saying, “I am perfectly capable of opening the door for myself.” He would always reply, “I know you can. I like doing this.”
Once I pushed it too far about how weird it felt and he stopped opening my door. I think sometimes women can be very stupid in their bid to be perceived as independent. We can lose all the softness in our life by clamoring, “I CAN DO IT” like my kid did at 3 when he decided he could dress himself. We get so busy making sure everyone around us knows we’re independent that we don’t perceive they already know that and aren’t challenging it.
Finally I asked him WHY he wanted to open my door. He said, “It is a way I can honor you. It is an honor for me to open your door, to treat you like a lady, to show you that I think you are valuable and precious to me. I respect your independence and I fell for you because you’re so capable and smart, but this is also for me.”
Well, didn’t that make me feel small and petty. And gave me a shiver inside and did make me feel special but also like I’d lost something very precious, too. So I said to him that no one had ever really wanted me to know they thought I was valuable and precious, and that it was very hard for me to accept. I also asked for another chance to accept his respect.
He gladly began opening my car door again and I learned a valuable lesson in the art of compromise. Compromise is very good when you are also getting major benefits from it. And are learning how to feel protected, loved, safe, and special all from one tiny act. And my son watched this and when he began dating, he did the same thing. Amazing.
He would kiss my hand, my palm, my forehead. He is very much a touch person. It was very hard for me because I was such a wall person. I had major thick walls built around my heart and emotions. It did require the sledgehammer of his love to get in there. But he did. Boy did he.
He is crazy for me. There is no doubt in his mind that we can make our love go on forever. He is dedicated to that. When he says “no divorce” it isn’t even a word we will allow out of our mouths – EVER – not that we’ve ever gotten that angry or stupid with one another.
The lyrics say it all – in all my life there’ll be no one else. If I looked all my life there could be no one else and for the rest of my life all I need is him.
Next month we will have been married 19 years. Here it’s where I will always want to be. I will always need his love.
Baby, thank you for showing me what true love really is. Thank you for loving me and for protecting my heart. Thank you for making me a better me. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for this wonderful adventure in life that we are on together. Thank you for being an amazing lover, friend, husband, and father. You showed me love, and still do, all the time. You are really crazy, you know?
Thank you for being crazy. Crazy about me. Crazy in love with me.
You are the dream that came true.