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Dumb Stuff

**WARNING** While today’s post is about dumb stuff, it’s still rated Spicy.  So if you are easily offended about anything along that line, don’t read this post.  If you do read this post, don’t send me an email because you were warned.

Everyone should have a family tradition or a hobby or something that connects you like it will never connect others.  In our family, that connection is… wait. 

I should say that this is between Alpha Hubby and me since we didn’t start this until Alpha Son was out of the house.  T’wouldn’t be appropriate otherwise.  So it would be a couple-tradition.  When it is something that makes the two of you look deeply into one another’s eyes in public, drawing you together in a private way as nothing else can, creating a secret between the two of you no one else needs to know about, it’s a couple-tradition.

So in today’s post, obviously light and fluffy because I haven’t had any flashes of brilliance to post lately, I am going to share our deep, dark secretive couple tradition. 

The tradition is:

Fortune Cookie
Fortune Cookie… In Bed

Yes, Chinese fortune cookies.

Oh, not the eating of them.  Alpha Hubby won’t even eat his lovely little crunchy calorie-laden bit of nothing.  Nope, he came up with a better idea.  His brilliance?  After a series of stoopid or boring fortunes like “Smile at yourself today” he said to me one day:

“Hey, let’s add the words ‘in bed’ after every fortune.  That might make them funnier.”

Thus, a couple-tradition was begun a few years ago.  It not only made some fortunes funnier, it sometimes ended up being pretty darned good advice sometimes. I will share some of our recent wonderful (depending on how you look at it) fortunes:

It is what you haven’t done that will torment you… in bed.

Give yourself some peace and quiet for at least a few hours… in bed.

By listening, one will learn truths… in bed.

Never argue with a fool… in bed.

Everyone is fun: you just have to find their fun side… in bed.

Faithless is he who quits when the road darkens… in bed.

Be concerned, not obsessed, with your health… in bed.

Have a vision.  Be demanding… in bed.

Never doubt logical things… in bed.

Nothing gets in the way of your vision of yourself in the future… in bed.

Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don’t have film… in bed.

And… one ??? huh ??? one:

Attend to Business today.  Leave that street-side flower alone… in bed.

Yeah, I kinda wondered about that one myself.  Street-side flower??

I will leave you with this beauty that sent us into paroxysms of laughter in the restuarant, causing people to turn and smile at the couple enjoying themselves:

Compliment three people every day… in bed.

And just ’cause:

The BEST “she dumped me” song ever; I just love the chorus:


(Or the link) –

16 thoughts on “Dumb Stuff

  1. Nan, how I love that you have these couple traditions with Alpha Hubby! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we can all learn something from this wonderful relationship of yours! Would you believe I read the “intimacy post” you wrote recently to the Significant Other? For a second time! I think it’s fantastic that you cultivate your love in so many special ways. If there was a couple of the year contest, I’d nominate the both of you! 🙂

    1. He’s my best friend. He only wants the best for me and works to give me the best. I protect that!

  2. LOL … when I was away at school, and the long night study sessions (of we, the gals I housemated with always waited to the last week before an exam to cram studying) Chinese food was usually the menu of choice, cheap and lots of it … we started adding bed to the fortunes we got – to add fun to a night of studying… This post brought back many fun times with the gals … merci, xo C. (HHL)

  3. You did me good, woman, with one of my favorite songs. The cookie has gotten a lot of laughter in our lives. Laughter binds hearts together “in bed”.

  4. I’M OFFENDED!!!!!!!!

    (you set yourself up for this one by warning me not to be offended.)

    And personally, I make it a point to compliment at least five people in bed. 😉

  5. “In Bed” – snort! Still giggling over that last one. Three people. I can see your and Alpha laughing. Loved the break up song. So funny.

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