All Blogs, Gratitude, Romance

He Has a Way With Me

Today’s Song Reference:

Long before I met Alpha Hubby, I dreamed about all the fairy tale stories – of finding that one special one who would believe in me, help me be the best I could be, dance with me, go on adventures with me, and love me, love me, love me.  I dreamed.

I also was so full of confidence.  So relaxed and in love with life.  I wasn’t afraid of anything!  I just knew nothing was impossible and great things were in store for me every single day!  I believed the best was in everyone I met (I didn’t say I was smart).  I couldn’t wait to wake up and discover what was going to happen each day.  I wore the flowing dresses, twirling around in the fields of crimson and clover, writing poetry I still understand years later – those words instantly taking me back to that exact moment I penned them.

I was an artist painting with my watercolors, brilliant, bright and vibrant, and creating charcoal and pencil drawings of every little thing and person that struck my fancy.  I listened to music that made me happy and fell in love with jazz and blues even though I wasn’t blue.  Otis Redding, Sam Cook  – mellow grooves, soul or R&B, and more Eagles and Doobie Brothers than Black Sabbath.  I was so glad to get out from under the strict thumb of my parents that I went breathlessly running with freedom.

But… somewhere along the way I lost me before I met Alpha Hubby.  I ended up being a person not quite as confident as she used to be.   Sometimes bad things happen to people.  Bad things done or bad things that happen or bad things that were said or bad accidents that change everything.  Then fears develop.  Scars and baggage slowly eat away at confidence, turning bold into fragile. 

So many of us have lost our “self” and who we thought we were.  Sometimes there has been violence that’s hard to get over.  Sometimes it is an accident that changes everything.  Sometimes it is as simple as words that are used as hammers, axes, and knives, cutting, slicing, smashing, and hacking away.  And while humans are resilient, sometimes it takes awhile to become anything resembling normal again.


After I met Alpha Hubby, even after all the years that had gone by before I met him, I still flinched if he raised his hand in an expressive movement while talking.  I jested in the About Me that I was waiting for him to turn into the psycho axe-murdering killer I knew he could secretly be, but really?  I was waiting for him to turn. 

And what did he do?  Well, he never turned.  He just kept loving me.  Just kept believing in me.  Just kept telling me I was amazing to him and that my dreams were valid.  He just kept putting his palm on my cheek and telling me that he could feel my love for him.  He helped erase my nightmares.

He loved my stories, stole my artwork, fell in love with my singing.  He waited while I worked through deep-seated fear issues.  He never got impatient with me.  He helped me work through my daymares and trust issues.  He kissed my tears away when I did have a nightmare.  He just kept loving and loving and loving and loving me.  He still loves that strongly to this day.

He helped me heal.  He helped me discover who I can be when there is unconditional love.  He helped me change the view I had inside me, how I saw myself.  He has been there, rock solid in his love for me no matter what.  I know that even after all this time I still have a few little tiny issues it is time to deal with.  But I know with his amazing love, I am going to keep working on finding the parts of that woman who are still missing, and I will get her back.  I will be brave.  I will not fear.  I will be a bold as I was when I was in my past. 

I truly believe God sent him to help me put myself back together again, only better because I have his true and real love.  That’s why I write so much about him and his incredible love.  It is what I know best. 

Because of him I am dancing and twirling and singing and trusting and drawing and painting and writing and just BEING.  Joyfully!


Only this time I am not alone!

Babe, someone said it better than me: 

You’ve got a way with me
Somehow you got me to believe
In everything that I could be
I’ve gotta say you really got a way

You’ve got a way it seems
You gave me faith to find my dreams
You’ll never know just what that means
Can’t you see you’ve got a way with me

You’ve got a way with words
You get me smiling even when it hurts
There’s no way to measure what your love is worth
I can’t believe the way you get through to me

Oh, how I adore you
Like no one before you
I love you just the way you are

It’s in the way you want me
Oh it’s in the way you hold me
The way you show me just what love’s made of
It’s in the way we make love

It’s just the way you are

19 thoughts on “He Has a Way With Me

  1. I’ve looked back at my younger self and wondered what happened to the girl who was so self-confident. I lost her, but guess what? She’s back!

  2. Nan, I think Shania’s song perfectly describes the beautiful sentiment you’ve written about in this post. I’m with Kim—every woman deserves to be loved like this! How wonderful to be loved unconditionally and to be accepted and embraced in such a manner. I’m so happy for you! Happy Halloween! 🙂

  3. You were always a diamond. Some people can’t see the valuable things in life and so they either throw it away or try to destroy it becasue it points out what they are inside. When I met you I could see the once distant sparkle in your eyes when you did not know I was looking and within I knew there were eyes that used to dance and in a fleeting moment I could see them dance. I knew there was a diamond in there that just needed tender loving care to make it sparkle again to its greatest brilliance.

  4. Everytime I read about your love affair with Alpha, I get the chills.

    I am pleased that you are loved deeply, fully, unconditionally, Nan

    Every woman deserves this kind of LOVE.


  5. My favorite line is “he just kept loving and loving and loving and loving me.” Oh big sigh, you know? I love little windows into your life and to know love heals like that. I love your blog.

  6. Very very powerful writing… I can feel your pain. Keep that keeper of a husband of yours! And find your little girl back, she is still there. She is just playing peek-a-boo

  7. How wonderful to be so loved – and to FEEL it and KNOW it.

    I have all the faith in the world that you will find her again. She’s already there, and it sounds like she’s screaming to come out.

    Your posts always make me warm and reflective on my own life and love. Thank you.

  8. Thank you for the comment on my blog today! 🙂 You should at least take a photo of the dry erase board he left you a message on. 🙂

    I loved this post. I love to read about the power of finding the right partner. It doesn’t sound like I have gone through even an ounce of heartache you have, but I was once a non-believer in Mr. Right. You’ve got such a passion for your husband and I am happy to read about it. 🙂

  9. What a wonderful post! And how lucky you are to have found such a loving mate. Have a wonderful day. I just stopped by from SITS to say hi; I hope you will do the same.

  10. Wonderful, uplifting post as always Nan.
    I really think that a holiday to NZ is in order for you and hubby down the track 😉

  11. Wonderful song…reminds me of my husband. He thinks I’m wonderful…if only I could see myself through his eyes. Thanks for the post. Now following.

  12. Nan;
    Every time I come over here and read you I go away feeling good. I want to be you in my next life (well, if I believed in that stuff, which I don’t). I’m so happy for you and the life you have made for yourself. Nothing wrong with being in love and if you stay in love…’s like winning the lotto I would imagine.

    You wrote, “Sometimes it only takes a few negative words from someone whose opinion we really valued to eat at our confidence until we lose our self and who we thought we were.” Well that still happens to me and I wish I could figure out why. I let things bother me that shouldn’t and put people on pedestals that really don’t belong and probably don’t want to be there. So I need work, but I working on it. It always helps to come over here and get a big dose of positivity.
    Rolling Stones fanatic here, by the way. LOL

  13. He does read them. He says, “I don’t understand blogging or why people do it” and I said, “Don’t worry about it, just post a comment (hoho).” He is super supportive even if I have to browbeat him!

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