Alpha Hubby – how do I describe this man. He says he isn’t deep, and I guess in a sense he isn’t if you mean he doesn’t play games or try to hide his feelings. His love is all out there for me to see, if I make a point to see it! I could have a problem believing he loved me because men and women tend to express love in different ways!
For the most part, women are far more verbal, saying “I love you” all the time, and men are far more demonstrative in the sense, “I go to work for this family” and “I fix things for you” and “Hey! I fill your gas tank for you!” and the like. Men show. Women tell. Men wish women would show (s.e.*). Women wish men would tell.
As women, our biggest fault is falling for the fairy-tale lie that says he has to say it and express it by doing all sorts of romantic actions (as defined by either the fairy-tale, soap operas, movies, books, or whatever else is out there to fill our little minds with lies). I’m here to tell you, if a frog says “Kiss me and I’ll change” you’re going to be stuck with… a smelly, noisy old frog. He is either a prince charming or a frog – you ain’t gonna change him!
And women are so often trained that if is planned, it isn’t romantic. That everything has to be spontaneous and surprising. So men walk around scratching their heads with a “Who knows what women want” mentality and women walk around “He is so clueless.” Well DUH! If we don’t tell him, he won’t know. And NO it is not unromantic to tell him what you need. He is not a mind reader.
OK, OK, I’m okay now. I just get so up in arms because I also fell for those sames lies and what a huge waste of time and potential that is!
Once I wrap my mind around the fact that Alpha Hubby showed his love for me in ways I didn’t think were romantic (sorry baby. But I’m over that now!), then I started taking a better look at everything he does to show his love. That boy must be head over heels in diamond love with me!
When I bought my former house back before we met, it was more a country cottage than a house worth living in. Oh, it was nice and I liked it but it didn’t have closets or storage, no dining room, the laundry room was off the carport (which made it coooold in the winter) and the kitchen cupboards were some awful things the former owner’s husband had made. Out of used wood. With knot holes in it. Can you say UGLY? Oh, and no heat. Unbeknownst to me, the former owner had also taken the gas heater with her AND told me the fireplace would heat the whole house through a ventilation system. Ha. HA! NOT.
By the time we moved to where we are now, the former house had a walk in closet-bathroom-makeup counter for me. It had pantries for all my cobalt blue things, a candle CLOSET (thankyouverymuch) for my tons of Yankee Candle candles and candle holders and stuff like that. It had a master closet for him. Central air and heat. A 400 sq ft enclosed sunroom. It had a fountain because I said one time how much I loved to hear water flowing.
Best of all? It had a flower garden (actually several). All because I told him a story of when I lived in Germany and the community garden was more flowers than vegetables – and how much I loved it.
There’s more there, but now he’s doing it here, too. Creating a pantry, remodeling to create a bigger kitchen, and on and on. This is my favorite expression of his love – he took two small bedrooms and created my library. Man, I love to read and I love my library!
Oh yeah, and he does verbalize his love, too. Beautifully so. And sends or brings flowers on my birthday. Sends e-cards on Valentines day (like the one below). I just wanted to make that clear. There truly is nothing like pure and true love.