All Blogs, Humor, Romance

More Adventures in Freakiness

I started to play the theme from Jaws this time, you know, “Da DUM, da DUM, da dumdadumdadum” but refrained.  Instead I did a quiet instrumental of “When I Fall in Love.”  You know why.  As long as he’s going to keep me in the country dealing with this freakiness, then this love will be forever so HE can deal with it.  Or else.

I shared the skunk in the ceiling story; you’d think that would be enough but noooo.  I will tell you another freaky-deaky story that happened not too long after the skunk saga. 

During one remodel, he was putting the finishing touches on my wonderful, wonderful, wonderful (can you tell I miss it?) combo half-bath, closet and makeup room.  When he extended the front of the house, the wall moved outwardly (to the pictured window) and I ended up with a lovely walk-in room/closet along with my half-bath.  The above picture was taken from the half-bath area (while we were moving ’cause “no” my closet wasn’t that neat).

One morning, I got up and wandered into the bathroom.  I noticed a long brown something on the floor.  I may have been half asleep but even I know what poop looks like.  I remember thinking, “What the heck?  I don’t think even a rat can leave something THAT big!”  (No, we didn’t have rats).

I picked up the phone and called Alpha Hubby.  “What the heck?  There is a big poop-like thing in my bathroom!  What would leave that? How did it get in the house?  Where is it?  What’s going on? Something left a deposit in our bathroom less than 18 feet from where we were sleeping!!  SOMETHING WAS IN THIS HOUSE WHILE WE WERE SLEEPING AND WE DIDN’T KNOW IT!!”

Of course, he couldn’t answer my freaked out questions.  He had no idea.

I’m walking and talking through the house, pretty concerned but not really expecting to find anything.  In the kitchen, I headed out the doorway and THERE IT WAS.

“AUGH!  OH MY GOSH!” I yelled.

“What is it” he asked, way too calmly for my peace of mind.

Coming around the corner from the laundry room was a baby opossum.  He looked confused like, “Where am I?”  I looked confused like, “How did you get in here?  And more importantly HOW are you getting OUTTA here?”

“It’s a baby opossum.  Coming around the corner of the laundry room.  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?  ARE YOU COMING HOME RIGHT NOW TO FIX THIS PROBLEM??”

While he’s sputtering that he can’t come home, I get this brilliant idea.  Because of the way the house had been remodeled when he incorporated the former carport into the house and made an office, you had to walk up 3 steps from the front door to a hallway.  A few feet down, to the left, you took 3 steps down to get to the office-laundry area; to the right, you’d step into the kitchen.

I calmly (yeah, right) walked into the hallway and toward the front door, keeping an eye out in case that opossum jumped me.  I opened the door, came back to the kitchen doorway, and laid down two dining room chairs so they blocked that entryway and that little bugger couldn’t get me.  Then I turned off all lights.  Yes, I got that idea from the skunk incident.

I have NO idea where I had the guts to go open the door – I know I had a fear it would come up the stairs to the hallway before I got back to the kitchen and we’d have a stand off – which would mean I would give up the house to the furry rat and stay outside.  I was shocked that thing just walked right out the door…

I’m standing there on the phone (out of view of the opossum), slightly freaking and still trying to convince Alpha Hubby he needed to drive the 30 miles home to fix this.  Suddenly the opossum calmly ambled up the stairs, turned right, saw the open door, wandered down the hallway, walked down the three stairs, and trotted out the door.

I’m doing a Snoopy boogie dance, exclaiming, “It left! It left the house” and went down to slam the door shut. 

Alpha Hubby says, “Where did he go?”

“What do you mean, ‘where did he go’?  He went OUT.  He went OUT the door.”

“NO, where did he go.  You need to see where he goes.  He’ll go back to the place where he entered the house and I need to know where that is.  I need to know how he got into the house.”

“You expect me to follow the opossum?  Are you nuts? I just lived through getting him out of the house!”

“Oh, forget it.  I needed to know but I’ll figure it out somehow when I get in tonight.”

“Oh, all right,“ I huffed, “I’ll follow the freaking possum.  He turned left so he shouldn’t be too hard to find.”  I’d about had enough of this poop-dropper.  The possum, not Alpha Hubby.

“No, forget it.”

“NO, I said I’d follow it,” I said, going out the door.  “Oh, he’s already gone.  Well, rats.  He went left in the yard, so let me see if he is in front of the house.”

He wasn’t anywhere but couldn’t have disappeared that fast, so I looked under the front deck.  There I saw a small opening in the foundation that led under the house.  I shared that info with Alpha Hubby then went to clean up the mess in the bathroom.  Give me the shivers I tell ya!

Alpha Hubby got the hole sealed up and that was it.  I mean, how much freakiness can happen after the skunk dropped from the ceiling?   Sure, in the back of my mind, I’m wondering HOW a baby possum got into my house but with all the remodeling, who knew. 

So a few days later, Alpha Hubby is up on the ladder, working on the ceiling in the new closet/bathroom area.  Suddenly I hear this loud yell (which, trust me, is very rare with Alpha Hubby, Mr. Calm).

“What?”

More yelling, more G-rated cussing with a slight PG thrown in here and there.

“What?  What?”  I mean, if Alpha is freaking, it is NOT good.  He never freaks.  This is one upset Alpha.  I’ve never seen heard him like this and I am for sure not going anywhere near where he’s upset!  It could be apocalyptic!

It seems the area he was working on had a gap in the ceiling, into the attic.  He was working to seal it up when the opossum stuck its head through the gap and hissed at Alpha Hubby.

Alpha Hubby was so startled – shocked – freaked – he dropped the trowel and pretty much fell off the ladder.  And he learned how the opossum got into the house: via the attic.  There were open gable vents at the end of the house into the attic and a tree next to the roof.

I sure hope that oppossum figured out how to get out the same way he got into the attic, because after Alpha Hubby was done…  That WAS the last wild thing that got into the house – except years later, the mice that came in with the bubble wrap when we were packing up to move.  THAT ticked me off to no end.

.

Coming soon: An update on my literal LBD journey, what’s been happening, where I fell off then got back on the wagon, blah blah blah. You know, stuff I REALLY love talking about – weight loss.  Eeehh, not!

46 thoughts on “More Adventures in Freakiness

  1. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME. I am in love with this blog. The possum and skunk stories are priceless. I am now following. lol. Thanks for visiting me on my SITS Day

  2. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME. I am in love with this blog. The possum and skunk stories are priceless. I am now following. lol. Thanks for visiting me on my SITS Day

  3. My hubs hates possums…and it would have been me to figure out how to get rid of him. And it probably wasn’t funny at the time, but I did have to giggle a little. A skunk AND a possum. I can hear Guns and Roses in my head “welcome to the jungle…it gets worse here every day!”

  4. My hubs hates possums…and it would have been me to figure out how to get rid of him. And it probably wasn’t funny at the time, but I did have to giggle a little. A skunk AND a possum. I can hear Guns and Roses in my head “welcome to the jungle…it gets worse here every day!”

  5. Ok – so that possum looks a bit different to the possums we get around here. But trust me – the reactions would have been identical!

    These days, we get to deal with the deceased animals that the cats drag in – not nice at all…..

  6. Ok – so that possum looks a bit different to the possums we get around here. But trust me – the reactions would have been identical!

    These days, we get to deal with the deceased animals that the cats drag in – not nice at all…..

  7. LOL you’re lucky- they can be very fierce…but at least they don’t “bounce” like armadillos. Which, by the way, scare the pitbull to DEATH…hahahaha

  8. LOL you’re lucky- they can be very fierce…but at least they don’t “bounce” like armadillos. Which, by the way, scare the pitbull to DEATH…hahahaha

  9. I am the wildest animal you will ever have to endure. If you can handle me then you will do well, pilgrim. There is a place for animals and it is not in our house. Oh I don’t believe he had the nerve to hiss at me! Once I get back up on the ladder, “You will rue the day you ever crossed my path.” The problem was actually caused by shody workmanship by the former owners who had built the house. By the time I was done there were no more surprises. You did well in handling the creature. Thank God I didn’t marry Ellie May Clampett (with all her animals)! No matter how cute she was, something would have had to give and it would not have been me. I am strong, large, scary, pushy, and bossy! So there! Let it be known! I do not tolerate critters. You are my damsel whom I get to push around. Right??

  10. I am the wildest animal you will ever have to endure. If you can handle me then you will do well, pilgrim. There is a place for animals and it is not in our house. Oh I don’t believe he had the nerve to hiss at me! Once I get back up on the ladder, “You will rue the day you ever crossed my path.” The problem was actually caused by shody workmanship by the former owners who had built the house. By the time I was done there were no more surprises. You did well in handling the creature. Thank God I didn’t marry Ellie May Clampett (with all her animals)! No matter how cute she was, something would have had to give and it would not have been me. I am strong, large, scary, pushy, and bossy! So there! Let it be known! I do not tolerate critters. You are my damsel whom I get to push around. Right??

  11. I am certain at the time it wasn’t funny .. but as I read both of these posts .. I couldn’t help but smile and chuckle … 1) because you handled both situations quite bravely and 2) as I read you describing Leland in both circumstances, I was nodding my head up and down … that is so Mr. G like… – in the “his” way and “strong woman” … yes , strength is something that we women truly need to help maintain balance …

    Catching up after our July 1st Canada Day celebrations.. wishing you and Leland a fabulous July 4th!!! xo HHL

  12. I am certain at the time it wasn’t funny .. but as I read both of these posts .. I couldn’t help but smile and chuckle … 1) because you handled both situations quite bravely and 2) as I read you describing Leland in both circumstances, I was nodding my head up and down … that is so Mr. G like… – in the “his” way and “strong woman” … yes , strength is something that we women truly need to help maintain balance …

    Catching up after our July 1st Canada Day celebrations.. wishing you and Leland a fabulous July 4th!!! xo HHL

  13. I can’t imagine this happening in our house. My husband has a HUGE fear of possums and I couldn’t get near one if you paid me. Imagine the mayhem!

  14. I can’t imagine this happening in our house. My husband has a HUGE fear of possums and I couldn’t get near one if you paid me. Imagine the mayhem!

  15. OMG when I was a kid a family of Possums got into our basement. My dad killed them. It was just awful. Hope you guys get them out.

    Stopping by from the Tea Party.

  16. OMG when I was a kid a family of Possums got into our basement. My dad killed them. It was just awful. Hope you guys get them out.

    Stopping by from the Tea Party.

  17. they make good stew in my neck of the woods of possum… lol

    i once reached into bushes thinking it was a cat and it was a possum… oh mother nature the jokes you play…

  18. they make good stew in my neck of the woods of possum… lol

    i once reached into bushes thinking it was a cat and it was a possum… oh mother nature the jokes you play…

  19. Good thing it wasn’t a freaking snake!

    Thank you so much for your comment at my blog. I really appreciate it! Also glad because now that I’ve read your post, I’m following along!

  20. Good thing it wasn’t a freaking snake!

    Thank you so much for your comment at my blog. I really appreciate it! Also glad because now that I’ve read your post, I’m following along!

  21. Nan, can I say I am in awe of your “peaceful” freaking out episode? I would not have been this calm. As a matter of fact, all this post would have been in caps! I have never seen a possum but I’m sure that if I did, I would scream to the heavens and back. It looks like one ginormous rat!

    1. Trust me, inside I was NOT calm. I love that, the post being in all CAPS – that is sure what I felt like that day.

  22. Nan, can I say I am in awe of your “peaceful” freaking out episode? I would not have been this calm. As a matter of fact, all this post would have been in caps! I have never seen a possum but I’m sure that if I did, I would scream to the heavens and back. It looks like one ginormous rat!

    1. Trust me, inside I was NOT calm. I love that, the post being in all CAPS – that is sure what I felt like that day.

  23. Possums can be mean mean mean. I mean, mean. But, you live in the country, you get critters. I was so sure the long brown thing was gonna be a snake. Yuck. Glad it wasn’t.

    Hope you have a great weekend. I love your porch.

  24. Possums can be mean mean mean. I mean, mean. But, you live in the country, you get critters. I was so sure the long brown thing was gonna be a snake. Yuck. Glad it wasn’t.

    Hope you have a great weekend. I love your porch.

  25. Nan,
    God sent you to me as a special angel…
    cuz you make me Laugh. Laugh. Laugh.
    Skunks! Eggs! Baby Possums! Awesome Kitches!
    I just love ya 🙂 xx And I loooooooooooooove your hanging planters !! WOWWWWWWWWW.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  26. Nan,
    God sent you to me as a special angel…
    cuz you make me Laugh. Laugh. Laugh.
    Skunks! Eggs! Baby Possums! Awesome Kitches!
    I just love ya 🙂 xx And I loooooooooooooove your hanging planters !! WOWWWWWWWWW.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  27. Can I move into your closet-half-bath-makeup room? Please? That is huge and I bet you enjoyed it a ton. I want one. I don’t do wild things either. No way no how.

  28. Can I move into your closet-half-bath-makeup room? Please? That is huge and I bet you enjoyed it a ton. I want one. I don’t do wild things either. No way no how.

  29. Seriously? I rescued some orphaned baby possums, when I was in college, and kept them in my dorm room closet. I used to sneak them in and out of the dorm in my very large (white girl afro) hair! And they were adorable! 🙂

    1. This was probably more of a teen-aged opossum, snarling & very unhappy! Where I lived, they were mean, not cute! I don’t do wild things!

  30. Seriously? I rescued some orphaned baby possums, when I was in college, and kept them in my dorm room closet. I used to sneak them in and out of the dorm in my very large (white girl afro) hair! And they were adorable! 🙂

    1. This was probably more of a teen-aged opossum, snarling & very unhappy! Where I lived, they were mean, not cute! I don’t do wild things!

  31. Nan! I thought the skunk was bad enough, but a baby possum? You must have been really brave because I would have moved into a motel until my honey took care of it!

  32. Nan! I thought the skunk was bad enough, but a baby possum? You must have been really brave because I would have moved into a motel until my honey took care of it!

Comments are closed.