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Redneck Entertainment

I married an Electrial Engineer.  I know he was an Electrical Engineer because I met him at work and he was working as an Electrical Engineer.  Got that?  I, me, myself, I married an Electrical Engineer.

So why, 18+ years later am I sitting on a ranch?  Watching cows, heifers, calves, and a bull frolic in the pastures?  It’s complicated.  Well, no, I guess it isn’t.  I made the mistake of asking him early in our marriage what his heart’s desire was, the one thing he really wanted to do. 

He said, “I would want to get back into raising cattle.” 

“Raising cattle?” I queried.  Surely he was jesting because I married an Electrical Engineer.  I don’t do cows.

“Yes, I used to do that years ago.  It has always been somthing I wanted to do again.” 

Are you cow-pooping me??  A rancher?  Excuuuuuse me but I married a city-slicking Electrical Engineer. 

But, being the dutiful wife I was… no, scratch that.  I am hardly a dutiful wife.  So being the woman madly in love with the Alpha Hubby Electrical Engineer, the very same man who once asked me what the one thing was I would do if I could, then promptly went about fulfilling that desire for me – that man – I got behind his dream and supported it.  Over the next few years I learned more about cows and bulls and heifers and calves than I EVER dreamed possible.   And I now know some cows have so much personality it’s astonishing.

After we moved here a couple of years ago, he began to slowly create his full blood herd, a few cows at a time.  The first two (Awesome and Cool Breeze, above as babies) were delivered to our pasture at night (which they shouldn’t have been).  They promptly freaked out, not knowing where they were, and  found a weak area in the fence and disappeared.  It took Alpha Hubby and Son two days to find them in the neighbor’s 200 acre field and get them home again.  Where they promptly did this again a few days later.  And again.  And again.  And again until Alpha Hubby finally got all the weak places taken care of.  I was ready to send them both somewhere they’d permanently regret and it wasn’t to their former owner’s house.

One we gained, this little beauty above top, tiny little Molly (w/Mama) Feb 2011 and below that on Mar 2012 (she’s on right), well Miss Molly turned out to have a fog horn voice, and she knows how to use it.  She marches to the corral at about the same time every day, stands in the gate and if the sweet feed isn’t there and Alpha Hubby is here but isn’t looking like he’s getting it for her, or if he’s not moving fast enough for her majesty, she bellows so loudly I can hear her inside the house.  She anounces that it’s time, right now, for sweet feed. 

She is also telling everyone else to “come on, let’s see if we can intimidate him into putting it out now.”  If no one shows up with sweet feed, all the cows leave until they see Alpha Hubby or hear Foghorn Molly again.   These are the quietest cows ever; nary a one makes a noise – except Molly.

Then we have Blondie.  She chases Alpha Son when he gets on the tractor.  She has adopted Alpha Son, much to his dismay.  She wants to chase him (never ever saw him move THAT fast before), push him around, love on him, head butt him, and just, in general, play with him.  He has to stick a finger in her face and say “NO!” in a strong voice before she leaves him alone.

Then we have Mama.  She’s a former show cow, the one who calms the rest of the small herd.  She loves when you go to open the gate because she will stand on the other side of it and push it shut with her head.  She thinks you’re playing a game with her.  She’s taller than I am.  I am NOT playing her game.  She also wants someone to scratch her head but man, her hair is rough!  Mama’s shown here (above) with her third daughter, about 30 minutes after she was born.  Mama is one mellow cow who allows Alpha Hubby to rub her and scratch her head… except after she had her baby a week ago.  When he got too close one day, she turned around and pushed him in his bootie.  She’s about 1900 pounds.  You know who won.

Awesome (in the family portrait, top, sitting), the first runaway heifer, was the first to drop a beautiful little girl (FF Baby) 6 months ago.  Blondie wanted to be a mama (bottom picture, right) so she tried to adopt FF Baby a few minutes after she was born and totally confused that poor baby.  The baby had no idea why her new mama didn’t have any milk.  We had to banish Blondie to the other pasture and allow Awesome to BE the mama.  Which she is. Excellently so.

Jaguar is the first of the commercial breed.  She follows Awesome around much to Awesone’s disgust.  Jaguar doesn’t really have a personality, per se.  She is quiet and just eats and eats.  She is getting ready to drop her new baby soon.


Then we have ‘da man.  Cool Breeze.  The bull who thinks he’s all that what with 3 girls already chalked up to his studliness.   He gets horribly embarrassed when he has to babysit.  Unfortunately for him, his ‘lil darling loves to hang with dad, all the time.  Once a few weeks ago when he knew it was time for sweet feed, because I had stopped the car to look at him, he sauntered his way up the field like it was no big deal.  When I was leaving, I glanced into the rear view mirror and that bull was running full out to the gate like his tail was on fire. 

Watching a 2000+ pound bull leap, jump, play, and run around is pretty amazing.  He jumped the fence from the field he was in one evening, and jumped over another fence into the field where a hot-blooded cow was.  She was promptly moved to the pasture he came from (she was too young) and he was banned to the new field.  But no matter what you say, white bulls can jump.  Heh, heh.

Now we have these two cuties, born 5 days apart.   The one laying down is Blondies baby.  Yes, she finally got one of her own and is an amazing mom.  The baby is a few minutes old.  The one standing baby is Mama’s baby from 5 days ago at the time.  I’ve never seen two babies playing and gamboling so I’m enjoying them.   It’s wonderful Redneck Entertainment.

I’ve learned a lot.  I own a pair of Muck boots Alpha Hubby purchased for me.  You do know why, right?  Let me just say flip flops and cows don’t mix.  I can feed the cows if I have to, even tho most of them are taller than me.  I can go where no me has gone before.  Even if I don’t do cows.  And he is still an Electrical Engineer.  That’s how he keeps these spoiled babies in sweet feed!

My life.  I sit on my deck, sipping my hot tea and just thank God I am where I am and with the man I am with.  Truly, babe – heaven must have sent you from above.  Thanks for showing up in my cubicle and changing my life!


Song:  Grazing in the Grass

Full Blood Romagnolia, an Italian breed
Jaguar is part Seminole and ?

27 thoughts on “Redneck Entertainment

  1. Thanks for stopping by my food blog the other day – always nice to find a fellow Hawaii lover to hang out with.

    I just love all the personalities of the cows – who would have guessed. I married an electrical engineer too but I doubt we’ll ever raise cows. But he does like to play guitar and ride motorcycles so I guess they all have their secret personality!

  2. I love that your dad is a doctor simply to keep his cows in sweet feed. Come feed the cows anytime!

  3. OMG, Nan, you name all your cows, I love it! My mom and dad have cows (which he keeps in sweet feed by being a doctor, LOL) but they don’t name them. Eric calls all cows “future Whoppers”, by the way.

    I love it. I love that you shared the pictures. I want to come feed the cows!

  4. I guess I have to agree. Alpha Hubby puts up with my wonderous quirks, too! But they are so much less destructive than his maple tree eating bull.

  5. Cows are just the coolest animals ever. When we lived in rural Ohio before moving to Vegas, part of the entertainment was watching the cows across the street from our little house. They would line up at the fence and chew on the grass. It seemed they were watching us but they were probably just wondering why we were watching them. My little dog had a fit every time I let him outside. He wanted to take them all on. Stupid little pup that he was. Anywho, I love cows. I named them all and they weren’t even mine. Silly me.

    1. My son’s dog thought she was a cattle dog – now she thinks she’s a cow since she discovered the sweet feed (part molasses). She tries to get in there to eat and they try to kick her out. Don’t know if she’s smart or stupid!

  6. LOL Love it! We raised cows before for beef. One was named Tri Tip (a nice cup of beef mostly sold in California I’ve learned) and “Dinner”…. Of course Hunk named one of our dogs D-O-G… not pronounced by reading the word dog but by saying each letter quickly And people would ask where we came up with that name and he would love it. But he’s a dorko… My hunky dorko….but a dorko non the less. LOL

    Great pics Miss Nan!

    1. Dorko’s need love, too!! Love the name “Dinner” – so funny!! We try to name the cows as fitting to their personality or some other thing – Jaguar was named after my first black Jag! She was sleek at the time.

  7. I sure didn’t see a dog! Do you get up at the crack of dawn and go out to milk the cows? I’m sure it’s a wonderful life! That’s what happens when you marry a man you truly love……life is just wonderful wherever you are!

    1. We have beef cattle; some will eventually be sole at market to others. NO milking for me, not gonna happen, no-no-no.

  8. When an Alpha Male electrical engineer tells you that he wants to raise cattle, you should take him seriously.

    Just as when an alpha homeless jazz singer tells you she’s going to own a brownstone one day, you should take her seriously too.

    It’s an Alpha thing.

    1. I believe you are going to own a brownstone one day, too! As a matter of fact, I’ll just start praying about that and speaking it! It will happen!!

  9. Nan… I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed reading about cows so thoroughly in my life! Ever. I’m still smiling. :~) :~) :~) Have an awesome weekend, lovely lady!

    1. They are entertaining, for sure. Alpha Hubby put out new trees yesterday to replace 3 the bull had eaten last year and 3 the heat had gotten to. The second he was done planting and getting ready to leave, the bull wandered over as if to say, “Finally, my desert is here!” He tried to eat the new trees, working this way and that, trying to reach through the fence. He was very upset when he couldn’t get to those tender tasty maple leaves.

  10. Well, you surprised me with this. I am blessed because you were versatile enough to change from city slicker to country girl. But most of all you didn’t laugh at my dream but you embraced it. Just for you, I will use cream rinse on Mamma’s rough hair before August since I will have to ask you to attend to them again at that time. The cattle do have personality that is for sure.

    1. Aw baby, you’re just too good to me what with Muck boots and now cream rinse?? Fuggitaboutit – I’m going to MS with you. Let someone else feed them for a week.

    1. You are right. I am living a Disney life all right, what with the cows, the deer that feel they should live here, too, the geese that stop over and play in one of the ponds. I never imagined myself living this life but I find I enjoy it very much, cow poop and all. Well…

  11. Love it- even if they go to market and end up in the steak house, they had a MUCH better life full of respect and kindness. Good for you.

    LOVE the pics! They’re beautiful, and they look so well cared for that I’m surprised that they’re not all being shown!
    Redneck entertainment rocks:)
    We went out to the “Cobbtown Mud Bog” on Saturday- snuck away with Mr. Wilson on the Harley ALL day and hooted and hollered…and got some amazing photos.

    Even stole a kiss or two behind the porta john…haha


    1. Nothing more romantic that those porta john stolen kisses (smile)! Oooo, a Harley. Love those. Yep, our cows are spoiled rotten. Alpha Hubby says that not all herds are as… interesting as ours are.

    1. Now son, you liked him when he landed in our yard. Remember? You asked if we could keep him? So we did?

  12. I spit my water everywhere. Just wanted you to know that it is all over my desk over that “are you cow pooping me” comment. Took me by surprise. Love the cows, they look pretty. Do you eat them because if so why did you name them? Wouldn’t that be hard>

    1. Hey Merz! See my answer above your comment! I am so sorry about the water on your desk. Truly I am!

  13. Ummm… what photo with the dog?
    No, no we don’t eat them. They have to have names to register them. They are full blood, with the baby’s babies eventually going for market for others to buy.

  14. –Oh, you name them….?

    Cool Breeze. I love that name, Nan. SO much.

    & I love the photo w/ the dog! Sweeeet.

    If you name them, does that mean you do not eat them?

    I hooope not.

    I love your life, Sweets.

    Beautiful. Carefree. Clean. Funnnnn.

    Xxx <3

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