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Stockings and Garters and Rope, Oh My!

stockings red        woman pin up


There are a lot of blogs aimed at or written by younger mothers who blog about their children.  I think that is wonderful.*

But this isn’t one of those and I’m not one of them.  I’m from the other side.  The dark side.

I am here to tell you something.  Shhhh. It is a very well kept secret.

lips at last

There are definite benefits to having your children moved out of the house.  OK, there are major benefits to having your children moved out of the house.

You have reached a different stage of enjoyment with your kids. You are blessed to be able to see “who” they have become.  Alpha Hubby and I love that our son is also one of our best friends (along with his wife and their friends).

Be that as it may, after he moved out (and my short heart-aching melt-down), it didn’t take long to realize the benefits.  I looked over at Alpha Hubby and we shared a very sly grin together.  Helloooo, baby!

Tango 2 Bulls
Dancing Bulls Tango

I was blessed to have a mother who warned me to take care of business so that when Alpha Son was out of the house, Alpha Hubby and I would still know each other.  She warned that we needed to protect our relationship so we didn’t look at one another after 20 years and think, “WHO the heck IS this person??”

The best years ever as a couple are those after you have finished the years of raising children.  I’m serious!  I know each stage of your child is wonderful, and you never stop loving and praying for them.  But you let them go to spread their wings to fly or hit a wall, their choice.  You are there IF they need you but your focus has changed.  No.  That’s not true.

Little Boy Big Glasses
What ARE they doing?

Your focus shouldn’t change at all, just become MORE.  My focus has always been on Alpha Hubby, but I was also mom.  It isn’t the same during as it is afterward.  “Mommy, why is the door locked?”  No, it never happened but it could easily have!

NOW you can get back to the business of chasing one another around the house.  

Alpha Hubby and I didn’t get that when we married.  He took on the responsibility of Alpha Son and became his dad.  Alpha Son would not be who he is today were it not for Alpha Hubby.  He is the one who completed the manly-man training.  I mean, I have to blame someone for this:

Josh and rain 2 smaller
Flooded Driveweay

So anyway, my point is that there is more of this going on and less little metal cars, ball games, and school projects:


We have more private time to sit around and share what we love about one another without interruption:


There is more of this:


And some of this:

tango lean

And lots and lots of this, from here to eternity**:

lancaster kerr
Deborah Kerr & Burt Lancaster (From Here to Eternity)


…well, needless to say, that simply is NONE of your business!

No matter what stage you are in your relationship and life, the most important part is to ENJOY it TOGETHER.  Life is way, way too short to not do so.

Oh, and the title?  Well, it caught your attention didn’t it???  Oh OK, here’s the rope:

His is Red

You didn’t know that married people can make it hawt?  Shame on you!!


*Not to imply that mothers who blog about their children can’t do these things, too.  I know they do, through experience.  I’m talking about once the kids have moved out of the house and you’re free to run wild without embarrassing interruptions.

**1953 movie From Here to Eternity starring Burt LancasterMontgomery CliftDeborah Kerr and featuring in the famous beach scene which was famous because the censors wanted the scene to be cut completely, but Columbia refused and the scene stayed in.  This was pretty risque stuff back then!

14 thoughts on “Stockings and Garters and Rope, Oh My!

  1. Too cute, but you hit the nail on the head. *blush*
    Yes, you must make your marriage a priority when your kids are little. It is difficult, but if you don’t take the time, you will also miss the tremendous joy and fun of being a “twosome” again when they move out.

    1. Practice, practice, practice! We made date nights a priority and had catch phrases when one was feeling cut out (him) because the other was in Mommy Mode, not Wife Mode. We talked about it constantly, about keeping us first place. Neither of us was afraid to ask for our time.

  2. You two are sensational!!! I love your positivity. And you’ve inspired me to see From Here to Eternity again. xxxxxxx

  3. This is absolutely awesome and I would hope that a TON of married couples get this message, Nan. In my career over just shy of 27 years I will take a lowball guestimate and say I’ve seen easily 300 divorces. Yep. I’ve told folks over and over and over. Make sure the two of you have a life together after they leave home. Too often today though, I see kids still living at home well into their 20’s. And not going to school. And not working. We know where that answer lies, don’t we dear friend? You and Alpha Hubby rock and get it! Huge respect and kudos to you both! 🙂

    1. Most couples default to what is easiest, especially when they are tired – focusing on and raising kids. They really are NOT #1 and quickly prove that when they leave home (smile)!

    1. I think they’d kick us out (smile). What happens in the Alpha house stays in the Alpha house… except on here! They will have to buy the book when I finish it.

  4. That is why cowboys have rope. I bet you thought there was another reason. This is that one thing that makes life worth it all.

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