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The Abominable Christmas Tree

( I’m still Christmassing, so I am borrowing a post from my website – from last year.)

Let me tell you the tale of… the Abominable Christmas Tree.

Now you wouldn’t think a Christmas tree could be abominable, right?  You just don’t associate that word with Christmas trees.  Well, you don’t unless you use the obsolete meaning of the word which is:  EXCESSIVE; LARGE!

Once upon a time, I was a firm believer in live Christmas trees.  When I lived near my parents, we would all get together, tromp out into the woods and find the Most Perfect Christmas Tree (MPCT).  Of course, that would usually begin the annual “Bickering of The Cooks” Christmas tradition.  

None of us could agree on the MPCT since dad tended to pick ones that looked like Charlie Brown Christmas trees, Josh (son) picked out monstrously huge ones, mom just wanted to have it done with, and I could never decide.  Yet, usually after dragging home the tree, it really would become the MPCT once all the decorations were on it and plenty of loaded eggnog had been swallowed!  No, no – just kidding. *hic*

Anyway, after meeting and marrying my KISA, I discovered my first and only flaw in “happily ever after”.  He liked fake trees.  FAKE trees.  (Oh, KISA: knight in shining armor, sorry.)  Live-fake, live-fake.  We ended up going with fake because, as he always points out, we don’t have to deal with tree droppings or fire hazards or watering or needles – and I like to keep the tree up way past Christmas which isn’t easy to do with a live one.  So for the past 14 years, we’ve had beautiful but fake trees for Christmas.

Last year… oh my.  Son came over and told me he had just come from the local Christmas tree farm.  He wanted to know if I wanted one because the lady was going out of business and was selling the remaining trees cheaply.  Added incentive, all the money was being donated to a local church’s fund.

I thought to myself, “Oooo, a good cause AND a live tree.”  I started romanticizing live trees.  

“Oh the scent,” I dreamed.  

“Oh the beauty of a perfectly shaped live tree,” I drooled.  

“A real live tree,” I fantasized.  

So I went to my loving KISA and told him about the lady selling her trees inexpensively and that it was going to a good cause and how about a live tree this year?  His reply?  A dog-house-worthy NO.  

NO???  No discussion and no chatting but a flat out NO?  Who the heck did this tarnished rusty has-been knight-wanna-be think he was?  He was TELLING ME NO???  WHAT?

Obviously men and women arrive at conclusions from different angles.  If you will check out the paragraph underneath the Knight and his lace, above, you will see his thought process – the end result of his decision is what came out of his mouth.  If you will check out below, you will see my reactions –


 shock, growling and tears.

Ok, I got over it.  Mainly because he was rrr… rrr… – shades of Fonzie!!

My darling KISA later came to me and said, “If you really want a live one, then let’s get one; it’s OK, really.”  I declined because he was rrr.. rrr… rii… right and I was simply needing the “discussion” to get to the same conclusion.  I gave my son money for a donation to a good cause and sent him on his way.  All was well.   Compromises reached. Happy Nights ensuing.

So here comes son back with typical son-thinking: “They have to get rid of the trees anyway and the money is going to the same place no matter what, so why not take a tree, too?”  He brought me home a live tree.  Not just any live tree but an Abominable Christmas Tree.  Yes, folks, a large, huge excessive 12 FOOT Christmas tree.  Oh it’s a beauty – beautifully shaped and colored.  Now it is 11′ since the only place it would fit was my dining room where my ceilings are only 11′ – but, by golly, it’s up.

Hubby has stated that I will have to put up every last one of my tree ornaments because the tree is abominable.  I wasn’t even sure I would have enough lights to fit the tree!  I have NO idea how I am going to decorate it but there it is – big, bold, beautiful, and abominable!

Christmas is about compromise, working together, true love, and fun surprises.  I know Alpha Hubby was surprised by the 12′ tree neither of us was expecting.  I’m sure glad we made the peace before the Abominable Christmas Tree showed up or it could have been… brrr, shivery here in the Land of Snowmen – another way I drive him nuts.

(click on picture to enlarge – these are from our previous house; we moved this year)



(And yes, it shedded, it tried to fall over, we had to put it in a huge bucket, and did I mention it shedded and shedded and shedded?  Oh but it was so beautiful and smelled so good… )

11 thoughts on “The Abominable Christmas Tree

  1. We used to have real trees when we lived in our old Victorian. They were absolutely beautiful! But we have our fake one now and I’m okay with that:)

  2. We have this disagreement every year in our house. Real or Fake…my husband wants fake and I insist on real. Well that issue was solved this year when Little Hitler (my 6 year old) put his foot down and said REAL!

    Hopping over from Lady Bloggers:)

  3. What a great story. I can totally identify with the real vs. fake tree dilemma. For the first several years we were married we always got a real tree and my husband always insisted on getting something quite large and overestimating what our house could take.
    We have a fake one now that we absolutely love. As for the nice pine scent, we turn to Yankee Candle for that 😉
    Visiting from Lady Bloggers Society.

  4. Stunning! I’ve never seen a real Christmas tree in a home before. In Australia most everyone just have fakes. Our fake is as big as your real though! The star is lopsided on top because there’s not enough room between the tree and the ceiling!
    Merry Christmas

    -stopped over from the lady bloggers Tea Party.

  5. What a large and gorgeous tree… My mother has had the same fake tree literally for ever… we’ve had that tree since I was too small to reach to put the star on top. I think the tree shrunk… it used to be huge (and come to think of it, so did my mother). Even after I moved out I never got a real tree… I got one of those pre-decorated two-foot-tall somethings from a department store. What? I had a tiny apartment!

    I know, I’m so whack, haha.

    Stopping in from LBS!

  6. I used to put every single ornament I owned on our trees. You couldn’t even see the tree amidst the garland, lights and ornaments! I’ve gotten over it. But I do remember the one time we had a pine tree in our front yard that we needed to be taken down because it was dangerously close to the house. We decided to use it as our Christmas tree one year. O-M-G! Little did we realize how big is was, more like WIDE….It hardly fit through the front door and took up half the livingroom! But it was fun! Took all the ornaments and an extra set of lights! At least we didn’t have haul it home from anywhere and it was free!
    So many tree stories! Just hilarious!

  7. Ur abominable christmas tree is huge, mine looks as a shadow of it. I have always liked live ones, but my mol was alergic to the smell and so is my honey 🙁 our tradition here in Puerto Rico is to leave the tree until feb 2. Way after three kings day, that day has something to do with “La Candelaria” (Virgen Mary), so in the past people brouth their trees to be burn, now not so much for enviormental awareness. But i keep my fake one just for tradition.

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