I can honestly say that Alpha Hubby is very good at putting the fun in dysfunctional at our house. There are so many, many, many, many irritating precious stories. I want to tell this story on him because it has the longest running joke going on in our family.
When Alpha Son was 11 or so, and about a year into the marriage, we all went to a meeting in Texas and stayed in a room that came with a refrigerator. At that time, my son was so in love with chicken strips, he ordered them everywhere we ate.
One evening, he wasn’t able to finish his strips so he asked for a to-go box. He lovingly put his box in the refrigerator when we got back to the hotel. The next morning, he opened the door to the fridge to get his precious strips, and lo and behold, his chicken strips had disappeared.
It is hard to describe the look of agony and betrayal on Alpha Son’s face when he discovered his dad had eaten his chicken strips. You know how it is, your mouth all set to eat something you wanted and it’s … gone.
Now Alpha Hubby felt badly (at least I THINK he did – that smile has a kind of a “heh heh heh” look about it) because he just didn’t understand the concept of leftovers at the time. He hates leftovers and he hates taking food home from a restaurant; he’d prefer to just leave it on the plate.
In eating those chicken strips, well, to his Engineering mind, he’d done nothing wrong. I know, I know – it IS hard to believe such an intelligent man thought that when dealing with an 11 year old. What can I say? It was a shocking revelation to me, too, and a sign the honeymoon bubble might be losing its air (it wasn’t).
BUT to save the day he immediately invented the “3-Minute Rule.” He explained to Alpha Son that the 3-Minute Rule had kicked in. The rule states that any food left alone for three minutes became the property of anyone who comes across it sitting there. Alpha Son looked at me. I looked at the ceiling, the wall, the floor, anywhere but into those innocent eyes.
That rule created a heated discussion and much laughter that day.
Silly I know, but in that one little moment of brilliance – inventing the 3-Minute Rule – was the basis of much joy and laughter throughout the rest of Alpha Son’s time living at home. Of course it was also the basis of many loud vocal, “You ate my WHAT? I wasn’t finished with it yet. I can’t believe you did that. You KNOW I planned to eat it. I can’t BELIEVE you did that! Don’t EVEN give me that stupid 3-Minute Rule garbage buster!” (That’s my voice there)
Today, years later, Alpha Son STILL talks about those chicken strips. Over the years he has managed to get even a few times, but never in the food area. Alpha Hubby is still too wily to be caught out.
What could have just been a few moments of hurt feelings ended up being a memory implant into all of our lives. And it has taught me to be sneakier about where I store food I want to eat later.
The moment the 3-Minute Rule was invented, a precedence was set in our family that what you don’t laugh at… can get you hurt, badly. Just wait until I tell you about the time Alpha Hubby told me Jesus ate my cashews. Yes, he really did have the nerve to tell me that! But that’s for another time.
Got any dys-funk-tional stories in your family?
NEVER tell my sons about the 3-minute rule! Never! When I go to my favorite restaurant, a cajun restaurant with crawfish po’boy sandwiches and romaulade sauce that is to die for – and I can’t eat all my sandwich, I bring it home, totally excited about tomorrow’s lunch. Well, my boys think it is a hoot to get a jump on MY leftovers. So much so, that when I drive allllll the way to Nashville about twice a year and eat at Cheesecake Factory, my oldest just KNOWS that I have left over cheesecake, sneaks over and EATS it – it’s like, “Mom has leftovers! I can SENSE it. . . . MUST.GO.TO.MOM’s.REFRIGERATOR.” I hate to think how they’ll torture me when I’m 105.
bluecottonmemory recently posted…Little Foxes in a Holy Spirit Rain
NEVER tell my sons about the 3-minute rule! Never! When I go to my favorite restaurant, a cajun restaurant with crawfish po’boy sandwiches and romaulade sauce that is to die for – and I can’t eat all my sandwich, I bring it home, totally excited about tomorrow’s lunch. Well, my boys think it is a hoot to get a jump on MY leftovers. So much so, that when I drive allllll the way to Nashville about twice a year and eat at Cheesecake Factory, my oldest just KNOWS that I have left over cheesecake, sneaks over and EATS it – it’s like, “Mom has leftovers! I can SENSE it. . . . MUST.GO.TO.MOM’s.REFRIGERATOR.” I hate to think how they’ll torture me when I’m 105.
bluecottonmemory recently posted…Little Foxes in a Holy Spirit Rain
You know my favorite part of this story? Your line about hurt being what you can’t laugh at. I just finished reading Carrie Fisher’s Wishful Drinking. In it she says if she can’t make what’s happened in her life funny, then it’s just tragic, and that’s unacceptable. Humor’s redemptive, isn’t it?
Grace recently posted…Working In Versus Working Out
You know my favorite part of this story? Your line about hurt being what you can’t laugh at. I just finished reading Carrie Fisher’s Wishful Drinking. In it she says if she can’t make what’s happened in her life funny, then it’s just tragic, and that’s unacceptable. Humor’s redemptive, isn’t it?
Grace recently posted…Working In Versus Working Out
Poor Alpha Son, he must be so traumatised about the missing chicken strips! Hahaha… hilarious story, though.
Poor Alpha Son, he must be so traumatised about the missing chicken strips! Hahaha… hilarious story, though.
Oh honey, dysfunctional is actually a kind word for parts of my family (not my kids…..talking about the other relatives in the family). We’re a weird bunch indeed. And as for the 3 minute rule. When I go back home to Georgia for a family gathering, the food gets eaten in 3 minutes. There’s no saving for later. LMAO
Chicken strips….yum. Makes me hungry. I think I’ll have a yummylicious piece (or two) of my Belgian chocolates now. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. (thanks again, friend!)
T
Theresa Sonoda recently posted…A Visit to my Phobias
Oh honey, dysfunctional is actually a kind word for parts of my family (not my kids…..talking about the other relatives in the family). We’re a weird bunch indeed. And as for the 3 minute rule. When I go back home to Georgia for a family gathering, the food gets eaten in 3 minutes. There’s no saving for later. LMAO
Chicken strips….yum. Makes me hungry. I think I’ll have a yummylicious piece (or two) of my Belgian chocolates now. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. (thanks again, friend!)
T
Theresa Sonoda recently posted…A Visit to my Phobias
hi! thanks for visiting picky and leaving it some love! yeah. i’m very, very bummed about the lack of blue bell and cheese. sandwiches just aren’t the same. and there’s a half gallon of chocolate mud pie in the freezer that I’D BOUGHT that i can’t eat. sucks.
thanks for suggesting some alternatives.
i’m SO GLAD you left that comment about the stories. i love it when i get such positive feedback about my work. i’m happy that you liked’m.
it’s actually three novels. so for kyle and cate’s story, for example, you’re gonna have to wait a really long time. i’ve barely got any of there’s written. not what you wanted to hear, i know. on the plus side. i’m gonna try to get isabel and reese’s finished by the end of this year. it might not happen, but i’ll do my darnedest.
c.c. recently posted…the things that are pleasing you will hurt you somehow
hi! thanks for visiting picky and leaving it some love! yeah. i’m very, very bummed about the lack of blue bell and cheese. sandwiches just aren’t the same. and there’s a half gallon of chocolate mud pie in the freezer that I’D BOUGHT that i can’t eat. sucks.
thanks for suggesting some alternatives.
i’m SO GLAD you left that comment about the stories. i love it when i get such positive feedback about my work. i’m happy that you liked’m.
it’s actually three novels. so for kyle and cate’s story, for example, you’re gonna have to wait a really long time. i’ve barely got any of there’s written. not what you wanted to hear, i know. on the plus side. i’m gonna try to get isabel and reese’s finished by the end of this year. it might not happen, but i’ll do my darnedest.
c.c. recently posted…the things that are pleasing you will hurt you somehow
love this story Thanks!
Adriana recently posted…Chain Of Thought…
love this story Thanks!
Adriana recently posted…Chain Of Thought…
Have we got stories? You bet we do! None come to mind at the moment, of course. I’ll have to think about this…
Visiting from SITS!
saretta recently posted…The Panini Sandwich
Have we got stories? You bet we do! None come to mind at the moment, of course. I’ll have to think about this…
Visiting from SITS!
saretta recently posted…The Panini Sandwich
Hi there! Love that chicken – and it’s not even noon!
Am your Newest Follower! Nice to meet you! I love all your happy, floating hearts!!! What a cute idea!
Also glad you have such a happy love in your life—I’ll be celebrating our 20th Wedding Anniversary next month! Can’t believe how time truly flies!
Have a wonderful weekend!
Linda
beachside cottage
Linda at beachside cottage recently posted…Hamptons Splash Party to benefit OCEANA ! Celebrity Meet & Greet Packages!
Hi there! Love that chicken – and it’s not even noon!
Am your Newest Follower! Nice to meet you! I love all your happy, floating hearts!!! What a cute idea!
Also glad you have such a happy love in your life—I’ll be celebrating our 20th Wedding Anniversary next month! Can’t believe how time truly flies!
Have a wonderful weekend!
Linda
beachside cottage
Linda at beachside cottage recently posted…Hamptons Splash Party to benefit OCEANA ! Celebrity Meet & Greet Packages!
Hahahahaha Thank you, Mr. Alpha Hubby.
Watch if I dont blame some snack heisting on Je-sus….
Tracy Wilson recently posted…Defining Marriage
Hahahahaha Thank you, Mr. Alpha Hubby.
Watch if I dont blame some snack heisting on Je-sus….
Tracy Wilson recently posted…Defining Marriage
Jesus ate your cashews, huh? I thought of a joke just now that I’m just not going to tell…
My solution to the leftover issue was only to keep food around that I knew nobody else would want to eat. No need to hide it, and it will stay in the fridge there as long as I let it.
Classic NYer recently posted…On tiredness and lethargy
Jesus ate your cashews, huh? I thought of a joke just now that I’m just not going to tell…
My solution to the leftover issue was only to keep food around that I knew nobody else would want to eat. No need to hide it, and it will stay in the fridge there as long as I let it.
Classic NYer recently posted…On tiredness and lethargy
Great post
As weird as it may seem to some its little things like that, that i think are so important in breaking the ice in blended families, establishing relationships.
Great post
As weird as it may seem to some its little things like that, that i think are so important in breaking the ice in blended families, establishing relationships.
Jesus has GREAT taste! The Cashews are my favorites too!
Beth Zimmerman recently posted…HodgePodgin’
Jesus has GREAT taste! The Cashews are my favorites too!
Beth Zimmerman recently posted…HodgePodgin’
What a crack up! My kids loooovvvveeee chicken tenders too. Must be a kid thing. In fact my daughter in law still orders them at least 50% of the time we go somewhere!
Love you Nanners!
What a crack up! My kids loooovvvveeee chicken tenders too. Must be a kid thing. In fact my daughter in law still orders them at least 50% of the time we go somewhere!
Love you Nanners!
If I want my leftovers, they better be under a lock and key. That’s how it goes with a teenage boy in the hosue. LOL
Ally recently posted…Open Mouth, Insert Foot. Large Foot.
If I want my leftovers, they better be under a lock and key. That’s how it goes with a teenage boy in the hosue. LOL
Ally recently posted…Open Mouth, Insert Foot. Large Foot.
We had the same rule except that it was the “Comin Back” rule. There were 4 of us kids, and 2 small rocking chairs in the living room. Dad got the recliner, Mom got the couch. The 2 kids not in the chairs got the floor. So if you HAD to go to the bathroom and you happened to be in one of the rockers at the time, if you said, “Coming Back” before you got out of it….it was “safe”. If you forgot, forget it…it was floor time for you when you got back from the kitchen or the bathroom. I tried to be sneaky when I knew a commercial was coming up. I’d start talking to whoever was in one of the coveted chairs to see if I could get them to forget to say “coming back” and then I’d snatch it as soon as their butts left the wooden seat. Sometimes worked, sometimes not so much.
The worst were the nights that we had some big family t.v. night going on. You know, Wizard of Oz night, or even The Glen Campbell Show, and oh yeah, Hee Haw night. Sometimes we would be so desperate for the rocker rights, that we’d sit in the chairs hours before the show even started. It was bad. Till we all got too big to fit in the chairs, it was “rush hour” at t.v. time.
Cinnamon recently posted…~SLUTWALK – Taking back the power of the Word?~
We had the same rule except that it was the “Comin Back” rule. There were 4 of us kids, and 2 small rocking chairs in the living room. Dad got the recliner, Mom got the couch. The 2 kids not in the chairs got the floor. So if you HAD to go to the bathroom and you happened to be in one of the rockers at the time, if you said, “Coming Back” before you got out of it….it was “safe”. If you forgot, forget it…it was floor time for you when you got back from the kitchen or the bathroom. I tried to be sneaky when I knew a commercial was coming up. I’d start talking to whoever was in one of the coveted chairs to see if I could get them to forget to say “coming back” and then I’d snatch it as soon as their butts left the wooden seat. Sometimes worked, sometimes not so much.
The worst were the nights that we had some big family t.v. night going on. You know, Wizard of Oz night, or even The Glen Campbell Show, and oh yeah, Hee Haw night. Sometimes we would be so desperate for the rocker rights, that we’d sit in the chairs hours before the show even started. It was bad. Till we all got too big to fit in the chairs, it was “rush hour” at t.v. time.
Cinnamon recently posted…~SLUTWALK – Taking back the power of the Word?~
I seem to remember both of you throughout the years have eaten food right off my plate just because I had to leave the table for some reason. You have eaten my cookies! There I have said it. Give up my cookies!
I seem to remember both of you throughout the years have eaten food right off my plate just because I had to leave the table for some reason. You have eaten my cookies! There I have said it. Give up my cookies!
This is very common in my house. Nothing is safe UNLESS YOU LAY CLAIM TO IT IMMEDIATELY! If there is a left over Taco Bell burrito then you HAVE to make an announcement that it is YOURS and NO ONE is to touch it. If you don’t, set burrito will not be there in the morning. You don’t have to worry about me eating it, I hate Taco Bell. And I can’t eat anything after 8pm anyway.
To hear the two boys quarrel over leftovers is hilarious! GET OVER IT DUDES! IT’S JUST FOOD!
Irene recently posted…Turkey Sandwich? Yes, Just eat it! Or starve.
This is very common in my house. Nothing is safe UNLESS YOU LAY CLAIM TO IT IMMEDIATELY! If there is a left over Taco Bell burrito then you HAVE to make an announcement that it is YOURS and NO ONE is to touch it. If you don’t, set burrito will not be there in the morning. You don’t have to worry about me eating it, I hate Taco Bell. And I can’t eat anything after 8pm anyway.
To hear the two boys quarrel over leftovers is hilarious! GET OVER IT DUDES! IT’S JUST FOOD!
Irene recently posted…Turkey Sandwich? Yes, Just eat it! Or starve.
Dude, I would have been furious. Everyone knows you don’t screw with me and food. My dad used to steal my food ALL the time.
Blond Duck recently posted…Shimmer 18
Dude, I would have been furious. Everyone knows you don’t screw with me and food. My dad used to steal my food ALL the time.
Blond Duck recently posted…Shimmer 18
That is so funny!
Several years ago when the two youngest children were still at home, someone ate something that Russell was planning to eat…..as a result he took a sharpie and put his initials on anything he considered “his” food. A few days later, his mother was eating with us and ask if we had a certain thing and when I got it out of the pantry I said very sweetlyyyy “Oh, this has R’s initials on it, you’ll have to ask him! 🙂 Solved that one really quickly!
NANCY recently posted…Calling for Prayers
That is so funny!
Several years ago when the two youngest children were still at home, someone ate something that Russell was planning to eat…..as a result he took a sharpie and put his initials on anything he considered “his” food. A few days later, his mother was eating with us and ask if we had a certain thing and when I got it out of the pantry I said very sweetlyyyy “Oh, this has R’s initials on it, you’ll have to ask him! 🙂 Solved that one really quickly!
NANCY recently posted…Calling for Prayers
oooooh, Nanny,
you are like a warm fluffy comforter against my heart.
THUMP::::THUMP::::THUMP.
Love this family story.
Beautiful. Just like YOU>!
kim sisto robinson recently posted…Masquerade Ball
oooooh, Nanny,
you are like a warm fluffy comforter against my heart.
THUMP::::THUMP::::THUMP.
Love this family story.
Beautiful. Just like YOU>!
kim sisto robinson recently posted…Masquerade Ball
Sounds like our house! I don’t dare leave anything laying around that I might want to eat later that day. It’s either hide it or eat it. No wonder I gained weight!
Sounds like our house! I don’t dare leave anything laying around that I might want to eat later that day. It’s either hide it or eat it. No wonder I gained weight!