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The IT Girl (Redux)

(Re-do of older post)

****DISCLAIMER:  Although I majored in Psychology in college, I do not profess to be an expert in anything other than myself.  Sort of, “I’m not a doctor but I play one in this blog.”  So this being a blog, don’t take anything as a professional discourse – it’s opinion and experience.****

I don’t know where I learned about the “IT girl” but I’ve known it all my life.  It’s sort of like today’s “you’re all that.”  But let me allow Wikipedia to explain (and remember, it started in 1920’s):

The term was coined by English romance novelist and screenwriter Elinor Glyn to describe actress Clara Bow as she appeared in the 1927 Hollywood silent film It.  In the introduction to the film Glyn described the term thus:

IT” is that quality possessed by some which draws all others with its magnetic force. With “IT” you win all men if you are a woman—and all women if you are a man. “IT” can be a quality of the mind as well as a physical attraction.[1]  AND

Self-confidence and indifference whether you are pleasing or not—and something in you that gives the impression that you are not at all cold. That’s “IT“. [1]

Owing to Glyn’s widely publicized pronouncement, the term It Girl entered the cultural lexicon.  Bow’s contemporary and friend, the actress Louise Brooks was also widely described as an “It Girl“, especially retrospectively. 

Andy Warhol‘s muse, Edie Sedgwick, was dubbed the It Girl in the ’60’s.

We’ve all known someone who just drew people to themselves like magnets.  There was an indescribable quality about them that made you feel good and enjoy being in their presence.  It has nothing to do with money, clothes, or things.  It has everything to do with confidence and liking yourself (or seeming to since I think Edie Sedgwick died of “acute barbiturate intoxication” in 1971 so obviously didn’t have it all together).

I want to talk about the real-deal.  The IT girl that resides inside all of us.  The only person we really have to please:  ourself.  I don’t include God and mates right now because those are complementary areas that can be dealt with later. 

When we have no confidence in ourselves, in who we are, it shows.  It comes out in so many different ways, I can’t begin to catalog them all here. 

Sometimes it is in overeating and sometimes accumulating stuff and things.  Sometimes it becomes drug or alcohol addiction.  Sometimes in is indiscriminate sexual promiscuity (although how you could tell that nowadays, I’m not sure).  Sometimes it manifests in hating everything about ourselves to the point we can no longer see anything good in and about ourselves. 

IT – that quality of mind that draws.  Do you realize that most of the people we enjoy being around really LIKE themselves?  It isn’t because they are a perfect size or body type.  It isn’t the perfect hair or face.  It is as simple for them as looking in the mirror and saying, “I like this person I’m looking at.”  

We all have self-worth.  Sometimes people mistakenly interchange the word self-esteem with self-worth – but we are all WORTH something.  Self-esteem, on the other hand, is something that can change; it can become battered and bruised through life experiences and other people’s opinions (OPO).

The experience of OPO may be something we take to heart and use to define who we think we are – a big nothing.  It is like in a relationship where a boyfriend doesn’t want you and dumps you.  Instead of thinking, “his loss” we think, “What is the matter with ME?”

There was a time, during my earlier “before Alpha Hubby” days, that I discovered I was valuable and precious – special.  I may be great only to myself (and God) but I learned I was a pretty doggoned neat person in spite of OPO.  In that knowledge, I learned to use “talk to the hand” (figuratively) – if someone did not view or treat me as valuable and precious, they no longer deserved or had access to my life space.   See ya!

I learned that NO ONE has a right to treat me badly or make me feel less than good about myself.  I learned that if they didn’t want me, BIG HAIRY DEAL.  Sure, it hurt, but it no longer defined me, especially as a loser.  I learned to move on.

No matter what we look like, no matter how much we weigh, no matter who likes or doesn’t like us, no matter WHAT – we are all IT girls and have a right to be treated that way.  NO ONE has the right to treat you badly and as less than OK.  NO ONE NO ONE NO ONE.  Not a parent, not a significant other, not a friend.  NO ONE, OK?

To all of you who follow this blog, please take a minute and look in the mirror and say to yourself, “YOU are an IT girl, and don’t you forget it!”  Then sing to yourself – “You are so beautiful to me!”  So what if everyone around you thinks you are bonkers?  You are an IT Girl.  It’s OK!!

It’s Independence Day here in America.  It’s Independence Day all over the world for IT Girls.  Be free to be yourself.  Be free to love yourself.  Be free to enjoy yourself.  Be free to say, “I am an IT Girl and I AM ALL THAT!”

20 thoughts on “The IT Girl (Redux)

  1. Howdy, It Girl! Well, You nailed it once again, my dear! I’m just getting back on the interwebs, after a month-long (unplanned) absence and was greeted by this little giftie of a post in my extremely full inbox. It was just what I needed at the moment… Thanks! I’ve been totally knackered from the insane pace of summer this year and I was definitely in need of a little Nan/LBDD wisdom. It really is far too easy to forget just how awesome we are as women and it’s so good to get a little reminder from a friend. :~) I hope that your summer is rockin’ and that you and Alpha are rollin’ right along with it! Hugs galore to one of my favorite “It Girls”! ~Mary XOXO

  2. –For me, the “IT” girl is always the girl who has confindence, compassion, empathy, and love flowing from the “inside–Out” into the universe….

    Individuals who make me better than who I am…

    Nan, you are one of those girls.


  3. Annette Funicello was an “It Girl” – she was chosen to be on the Mickey Mouse Club from scouters who were looking on school playgrounds for actors/actresses with just that personality description!

    I am glad God sees me as an “It” girl – when I keep focused on how He sees me, I believe He created me awesome!

    Loved being drawn in with the informational and snagged into a meaningly, meaty post!

  4. Hello LBD, Thanks for coming by on my SITS day and leaving the lovely comment you did. I’m the IT girl today…LOL.

    Thanks for this inspiring post.

    Lisa xx

  5. This post was well timed! I am currently embracing my own inner strength, power, confidence and beauty in my quest to cutting all of my hair off! I am going for a pixie and I am obsessed with researching it. Funny enough your post included some of the women I am researching, solidifying my decision completely! Thank you for a great post, helping many find the “It Girl” within themselves, because it is SOO important to love who you are. Screw everyone else’s opinion (this is what I am doing with the hair thing), your own happiness counts the most!!

    Way to inspire me and others! Rock on!!

  6. I love Clara Bow!!
    I know I’m an IT girl, because I draw every freak in the store to want to tell me their life story.

  7. I used to have the problem of not knowing I was an “IT” girl. I do know now, and everyone around me knows it too. I am the best friend anyone could ever have, as well as the worst enemy if you hurt me or someone I love.

    I just wish that me the “IT” girl didn’t have such a big butt. IT could use some trimming…lol

  8. I am an Alpha IT, because I think I am all that. Ok, maybe not so much that. Don’t push the maybe baybay!

  9. “if someone did not view or treat me as valuable and precious, they no longer deserved or had access to my life space. See ya!”
    Doctor, Nan, you continually have the right words.
    Whatever “IT” is … You have it XXxxxx

    1. What a great post. You hear the term “It girl” all the time and you have a vague notion of what it means but you broke it down. Great job!

  10. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I’m a bit slow catching up on comments these days!

    I completely agree, we are all IT girls! And we should be treated as such. Great post!

  11. What a wonderful post! I totally agree. Accepting yourself and loving yourself for who you are is vital for a healthy and happy life. I know I’m an IT girl. I wish every woman in the world knew that too!

  12. Wow, I needed to read this! I have a much harder time pleasing myself than anyone else. I am never, ever pleased with how I look, how much I weigh, how well I do anything that I try to do. It is a constant battle! But I am going to try to start telling myself that I am an ‘IT GIRL’!!!

    Thanks for the wonderful post!


    Teresa <

  13. OK, I just reread this post and I had to laugh! No wonder we both are wanting to launch these new posts together on our blog. We want to better ouselves but help other… We are more alike than we knew….I ALSO MAJORED IN PSYCHOLOGY in college! And I also did not get the degree…. I was a “mommy drop out”. I folded to the lack of sleep while being a mom and working full time, going to school at night……I have to admit I consider going back from time to time…..

  14. I love this quote by Byron Katie (I’m paraphrasing): “Every time you hear a love song, you should think it’s you singing it to yourself.”

    I love that.

  15. So true girlio! In fact I gave some similar advise just this morning. Won’t go into details but basically “Don’t beg him back, you have tried that. Tell him” “If you aren’t willing to not be around her for the sake of our marriage then you do not DESERVE me”……. basically speaking about selfworth and standing up for yourself. If you don’t think you are worth enough for (whatever the case may be) then why should anyone else? And guess what WE ARE ALL WORTH IT.

    We are all “IT” girls!

    Great post! Great reminder.

    Ciao Bella~

  16. I LOVE IT! Nan you rock!
    I’m gonna name myself the “IT” girl for the week of August 16th in Kansas City, MO!!!

    Yes………..I’m an IT Girl….
    Yes Yes……. I’m an IT Girl…..
    Yes Yes Yes …. I AM An “IT” Girl !!!


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