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The Nan Whisperer

There was a movie, “The Horse Whisperer” that came out a few years back.  It was a tale about a talented trainer with a remarkable gift for understanding horses, who is hired to help an injured teenager and her horse get back to health following a tragic accident..

According to Wikipedia:   Natural horsemanship, colloquially known as horse whispering, is a collective term for a variety of horse training techniques… which generally share principles of developing a rapport with horses,using communication techniques derived from observation of free-roaming horses and rejecting abusive training methods.

Basically a Whisperer develops a rapport with something wild, feral or afraid.   Kind of like I was when I met Alpha Hubby.  Boy howdy.

feral cat

That poor guy.  He had no idea what he was tangling with when he admired a pair of legs in a short skirt at work!  Of course, I had no idea what was still in me, either.

I always wanted a true love – a soul mate – but after years of abusive relationships (yes, that is an “s” on the end of that word) I had totally given up.  I had also hardened my heart and become quite cynical.  I was never going to give a guy a chance to puree my heart again.

Oh sure, way back, deep down in the darkest recesses of my heart, there *might* have been a slight twinkle, a momentary flicker left of hope.  Sort of like the near-death poisoning of Tinker Bell when I was a child and Mary Martin (who played Peter in a 1960 televised broadcast) asked the audience if they believed in fairies.


Tinker Bell’s light is fading, and she tells Peter that she could get well again if the children believed in fairies.  Peter turns to the television audience and says, “Do you believe?  Oh please, please believe! If you believe, wherever you are, clap your hands and she’ll hear you!  Clap!  Clap!  Don’t let Tink die, Clap!!”  During the stage play, all the children in the audience clapped and shouted that they believed in fairies.

Of course, my brother and I were glued to the television screen, sure that Tinker Bell was going to die unless we did something.  As far as we knew, we really were saving Tinker Bell’s life by clapping and shouting at the top of our lungs, “I do believe in fairies!”

And as far as my brother and I knew, Tinker Bell miraculously heard us and her life was saved!

Well, that is sort of what I was like when I met Alpha Hubby – my light was almost out.  There wasn’t much hope of a soul mate or someone who could truly love me, unconditionally.   Someone who believed in me.

Leland2 smile

Then along came The Nan Whisperer.  Somehow he did everything right.  When I had a major meltdown and decided he was getting too close and I couldn’t see him anymore, I called and said, “I need space. I don’t think I want to date right now.” 

He calmly replied, “OK, if that is what you need.”  That surprised me.  I was used to someone trying to talk me out of it and into what they wanted.

Then I proceeded to tell the enemy what I was feeling, where it was coming from and why I was freaking out.  I mean, who does that?  Who gives the enemy ammunition to use against you? 


And this Whisperer calmly talked to me, never pressured me, listened to everything I said, and completely seduced me with his voice so that by the end of the phone call, I was fine.  I decided that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I kept seeing him.  Huh.  I still remember when I hung up the phone wondering just what had happened!

All throughout the first couple of years of our marriage, Alpha Hubby would calmly help me work through the remaining fears and freak outs I had.  He would listen then say something so perfect that I quit being afraid.  Sometimes he had to whisper the same thing to me many times until I believed it, but he did.  He never made me feel he was getting impatient.

There were times we sat and talked, getting to know one another.  You have to remember, we married 7 weeks after we met.  We weren’t in our 20’s and both had some history behind us.  And yet, we knew we had something special, from God, for us.  We knew the heart but we just didn’t KNOW one another at all.

hand to face

So during these times of communicating, I’d nervously tell him about myself, my past, who I was and what choices I’d made.  He’d whisper the right words, he helped me feel beautiful, he whispered and whispered and whispered until I really believed he L-O-V-E-D me.  ME, the me I was right then and there, and the me I had been, and the me I would become.

He whispered me right out of my fears and into the most amazing adventure I’ve ever been on in my life. 

Is there such a thing as a soul mate?  A true love that can last throughout all the years?  A real romance that can be just as hot 20 years after it starts as it was when it began?

Only the Whisperer knows.

And baby, so do I.  Thank you for whispering to me until I wasn’t afraid anymore.

4 thoughts on “The Nan Whisperer

  1. I did the same thing…ran for the hills once, for a whole 44 hours:)

    LOL I think he wanted to punch me, but he didn’t.
    The nice thing is I’m not scared anymore…so when we argue it’s AWESOME!

    I love him but it’s still nice to able to let him have it – especially because he mostly just laughs at me until I laugh at myself.

  2. Baybay you were worth whispering. Something so beautiful and wonderful but yet so wild, skittish, and feisty required a whisper to avoid you bolting and running for the hills like some fine filly never to even catch a glimpse of again. I only had one shot and if I was going to have a destiny I better not blow it. Thought was maybe I better keep this sheep suit on until I was sure. Maybe I would walk with you for a ways.

  3. Oh my gawd Nan. “…whispering to me until I wasn’t afraid anymore”? What a perfect line. So describes your relationship with him. I actually have tears in my eyes. You really get to me sometimes with this true love crap.

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