There is a song from the Fifties, “Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets”. Well, I guess I should change it to say “Whatever Nan Wants, Nan Gets.”
This wasn’t always true. As a matter of fact, I can say with a
straight face that I never got anything (of importance) that I
wanted (or needed) until Alpha Hubby. He broke the curse.
I used to live a lot like that old Linda Ronstadt song, “When Will I Be Loved”: I’ve been “cheated, been mistreated, been put down, been pushed round, and when I met a new man that I wanted for mine, he always broke my heart in two, it happened every time, been made blue, and been lied to… WHEN will I be loved?“.
On top of that, I’ve lived in fear, been involved with Mr. Evil and his twin brother Dr. Psycho, been part of drama that made soap operas look tame, been afraid for my life, threatened with death, had to get over some pretty nasty stuff, and made a decision I was NEVER going to fall in love or get married again. Never, ever. E-v-a-h!
For a long time I was single, alone and at peace. My home was exactly the same way when I got home at night as it was when I left that morning – completely and totally peaceful. No one bellowing. No sarcasm. No one criticizing. Just lovely, lovely peace.
But I also never knew what true and unconditional love was. I’d never had IT. I never had faithfulness, that breath-taking knowing that he was never going to cheat. I never knew what it was like to be at total ease with someone, without pretending. I never laughed without worrying about how I sounded or looked. I never had freedom from makeup and dressing “just right”, never had passion that was real, or been given everything I wanted.
Then came him.
Then Lola got everything she wanted. Literally, physically, passionately, spiritually, and emotionally. I not only met a guy who was willing to hold out until after we were married, respecting what I wanted, he also understood it to the point he took the decision as his own, too. Thank goodness we only had 7 weeks before we got married. Phew. ‘Nuff said on that.
I discovered I was married to a man who would, with every breath in his body, try to give me anything and everything my heart desires. He still does. I have to be very careful what I desire. Some women would take advantage of a man with such a big heart like that. Then again, he knows what I desire most isn’t physical STUFF. I just want his heart.
He can cook, cleans, builds, works, puts me first and himself last, creates anything I need to make my life easier, and he would die for me. And yes, he would kill for me if it required that to protect me. He is an old fashioned man, opening doors, walking on the curb side, and always in protection mode.
He is a throwback to another era where knights in shining armor took the lady’s favor before they went into battle. He would slay dragons for me (and has). He is stubborn, domineering, dominating, passionate about what he believes in, and absolutely 100 percent hates to be questioned when he knows he is right, even if it is just for information and not to say a “you are wrong.”
Living with him is sometimes not easy – I am also stubborn, domineering, dominating, passionate about what I believe in, and absolutely 100 percent want to be acknowledged when I am right about something he thinks I know nothing about.
But because of his huge heart, we are able to have much more peace in our home than battles. Even the first “adjustment” year of giving together. Hey, that’s a great typo – giving together. I meant living together but what we did was give to one another!
Because of him, I am living this song in the many important areas – security, love, passion, understanding, a listening ear, compassion, and total, 100 percent unconditional love.
Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets – and baby, what she wants is YOU.
The lyrics say it all:
Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets
And little man, little Lola wants you.
Make up your mind to have
Resign yourself, you’re through
I always get what I aim for
And your heart and soul
Is what I came for
Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets
Take off your coat
Don’t you know you can’t win
You’re no exception to the rule
I’m irresistible, you fool… give in
Give in, you’ll never win
Whatever Lola Wants (Lola Gets) Sarah Vaughn