And I’m not even a cowboy!  Or cowgirl, for that matter. 

I started this blog as a journal about my journey back in to my Little Black Dresses.  Sometimes I post on other things since life is THE ultimate journey we are on and life affects any fat-loss journey you’re on.

A few years back, I downloaded an e-book entitled, Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle.  It was a huge book to print off, but I did and inserted it in a 3-ring binder.  I read awhile and was really impressed with his take on the words of your mouth and your subconscious.  He then developed an on-line inner circle, a fat loss support community.  I joined it, too. 

It was fascinating reading about people’s success stories, especially those who had a significant amount of weight to lose.  The site offered many benefits – articles, audio downloads, reviews, photo galleries, etc.  I enjoyed it.

Then I let everything drop after my dad passed away.  My mom needed a lot of help and I began to lose focus.  No, let’s be honest here.  I LOST ALL FOCUS and let all the good I’d accomplished fall by the wayside. Then mom passed away last year and I was left facing the ramifications – additional weight gain. Sure we can say “stress-stress!” We can say “she had to help her mom eat” (ooo, that’s a good one). But the truth of the matter is, I let my focus drop. I quit. I stopped doing what I knew to do. I did not win.

I still got the occasional email article from Burn the Fat, Tom Venuto.  I even used his newest soft-cover book, The Body Fat Solution, as a giveaway (which I’ll be doing again in the next few days).  But did I do the program?  Nope.

Then the email came that is changing my life.  “We want you back” it declared and “come join us in our Burn the Fat Holiday Challenge 2010” – forty-nine days using the BFFM program (the e-book). 

I wavered.  Boy did I waver.  Why, you ask?  Why not just jump in because the support system and tools you need are readily available to you?  WHY? 

I’LL FREAKING TELL YOU WHY – they expect BEFORE pictures – of me – in either a 2-piece bathing suit (hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha – like I even own one right now) or a sports bra and shorts.  Selah.

I know people have to be brave to do this because here it is – if there is an amazing AFTER picture next to it, most people simply focus on the “Oh wow, she looks SO good” after picture.  If there isn’t an after picture – as in – “she didn’t finish the program and look how awful she looks” – phew. 

I had to make a decision.  Was I truly going to follow this program?  Was I going to eat as mandated?  Would I do the exercises, both cardio and weight training, faithfully?  Was I willing to follow this through to the very end?

It says on the website, “Your BURN will last 49 days, ending in the first or second week of January, depending on your start date.”  I kept thinking – “it is only ONE MONTH AND NINETEEN DAYS.  That’s all.  You can do this, you CAN!  It is JUST 7 weeks.  A simple 7 weeks.”

So… I signed up yesterday.  I start tomorrow (I had to wait for some measuring calipers to come in the mail).  I’m not excited because I’ve been excited before right up until the point where I screwed up so I quit.  What I am is determined.  I’m not in this for the big Maui prize ’cause I gotta tell you, I won’t be bikini ready in 7 weeks.  I just simply refuse to fail AGAIN.  My goal, after the good reasons like “for my health, for me, to live longer,” is simply this:  I want to give Alpha Hubby his sexy wife back.

In 49 days, I can make a huge difference in my body.  In 7 weeks, I can have significant changes.  Like Alpha Hubby is always saying, “Christmas is coming anyway” – in other words, 7 weeks or 49 days, are going to pass by anyway.  They are going to pass by no matter what choice I make – bad or good.  So why not choose GOOD??  I did.

I chose this song today, Win by Brian McKnight, because of the lyrics – I WIN.

“Win” (with changes by me)

Dark is the night
I can weather the storm
Never say die
I’ve been down this road before (boy have I)
I’ll never quit
I’ll never lay down
See I promised myself that I’d never let me down

Chorus
I’ll never give up
Never give in
Never let a ray of doubt slip in
And if I fall
I’ll never fail
I’ll just get up and try again

Never lose hope
Never lose faith
There’s much too much at stake
Upon myself (God) I must depend
I’m not looking for place or show
I’m gonna win

No stopping now
There’s still a ways to go, oh (oh boy is there)
Someway, somehow
Whatever it takes, I know
I’ll never quit, no no
I’ll never go down,
I’ll make sure they remember my name (well, Alpha Hubby won’t forget)
A hundred years from now

Chorus

When it’s all said and done
My once in a lifetime will be back again
Now is the time
To take a stand
Here is my chance
That’s why I’ll…

Chorus

I’m gonna win