I read an article about “love after **” (** being a certain age). I kind of felt sorry for the author because he thinks ** is old and ACTS and TALKS like it. Because of that, his advice was a joke to me. I mean, we’re of the generation who had this song you’re listening to (YouTube video up there, go click on it) by Marvin Gaye, not to mention his song, Sexual Healing. Whooo! *Fan Face*

We had or heard the coolest songs that are still popular to this day. Right or wrong, we burned bras and we protested. We changed things around us. Most importantly of all? We drove MUSCLE cars, baby!

We were so cool, the cool people called us cool.

So why? Why would these amazing people compromise themselves by… *hack a fur ball* …getting old? Allowing oneself to quit being cool?? I mean, one thing I’ve learned in this life is this: if you act old, you are old no matter what age you are.

The reason I don’t define the above ** is because old is really a state of mind. 

But I digress. I was talking about “love after **” and when I say “love” I don’t mean the mushy feeling. I mean the word I can’t write here because then I get spammed like crazy on my blog, s*x.  Yes, I said it – S*X! S*X after **, which is kind of a joke because I know most 20 year old people are not doing that, much less most ** year old people.  (I’m talking married here, folks.)

When Alpha Hubby and I first married, about a week before he went on night shift, we would spend the evenings over a glass of wine, talking. Remember, we met then married 7 weeks later so we didn’t know one another THAT well.

We talked about how vital it was to protect our relationship. I’d been single (and abstinent) for 12 years. I wasn’t about to settle and miss out on the cool stuff after doing without for 12 loooong years. I’m talking the dating, the movies, the dancing, the romancing, and yes, the s*x.

We talked about not losing the “honeymoon” feeling for one another (which many people say, too). We talked about the importance of making sure we always had time for one another. We talked about what made one another feel secure and loved in this relationship and life adventure we are on.

I’d shared about an article stating what women needed to feel secure, one being financial stability. And saying:  instead of “*burp* Great meal, hon!” – women would like to hear “I love you (and this is why…)”.

He told me of a little known secret, to most women, about men. He said, “You know what most men need for security? To feel loved? Well, maybe not all men, but me, for one?  S*x.  There is something about that that says ‘home’ to me. You are my home, Nan, and that act says you want me, love me, need me, and appreciate me.”

Huh. Who knew?

Now, lest you think he was just soliciting for more s*x (which he does, all the time, but wasn’t the point back then), since that discussion, I’ve read more men’s articles and posts about the exact same thing. Most men equate s*x with love & security, and thus, when they don’t get that it affects the relationship. They’re not feeling loved.

I know back then, if we went without, a slow distancing began happening, that dreaded “roommate disease” that happens to so many couples. We caught on and made a promise not to allow many days to go by without getting in touch, literally. We aim for every day, then if we hit 3-5 times a week, we’re good. Intimacy is so vital to a healthy relationship.

So back to the point of this article – “love after **” – you can make it as boring or as hot as you like, or hotter. The benefit of knowing one another for so long is that you know each other and know what makes it hawt. Really, really hawt.  All over the house and outside hawt.  You can do and be whatever you want in your s*x life.

What? You don’t think people after the age of ** can do that?  Boy, what rock are you living under?

Every year when he opens the swimming pool, we officially open the pool – spend time in it talking, listening to romantic songs, swimming, romancing one another, *ahem* nunyabiz.  We have a lot of fun in this pool. A LOT of fun.

Excuse me, I have something better to do than do this post – Baby? – LET’S GET IT ON. No more waiting! I’ll meet you there!

Let’s go officially “open the pool for the season!!”

♥

p.s. I know 35 year olds who are OLD. I know 81 year olds who still boogie down (Oleda.com) AND look good while doing it. Here’s her video. It is SO awesome. I believe there are more 80+ year olds out there like her. I know I’m going to be one someday!!