Now that the holiday season is over it’s time to get back to the real world.  I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas but it sure is time to get back to healthy eating, relaxing, but nope, not gonna take down the Christmas tree!  Not until my birthday has passed.

So… I’ve receive questions about my relationship with Alpha Hubby.  And yes, it is true that sometimes I have to pinch myself to realize that after 20 years, 9 months months and 25 days, our relationship is even better than in the beginning.

It is more honest, spicier, richer, deeper, better, blah blah, on and on ad nauseam.  So today I am going to share a little bit of True Love Ways – what we’ve done (and do) that keeps our relationship cool enough to make people gag.  I know you want to know. Heh heh.

Sometimes Alpha Hubby and I have really deep conversations.  Then again, we have some pretty stupid ones, too.  I mean, really.  We quote so many Pixar animated movies to each other that you’d think we live in one.  “Whatta ya gonna do? He’s my best friend.”  I enjoy him and he makes me laugh.

True Love quotes funny lines from movies and works to make silly, warm, funny memories and catch-phrases that only have meaning to the two of you.  Secrets between only you two!  And yes, we even have secret hand signals.  Some of them are for when we are in public and want to express our desire for one another.

Sometimes we unwittingly allow other things to steal our time away from one another.

True Love realizes that when you have a loved one’s time, it is a gift. It is to be treasured, valued.  You quickly get things back on track.  It makes your relationship richer when you value one another.

Sometimes we face that relationships are a battlefield. We also know it is not supposed to be the two of you against one another.

True Love realizes that you must battle outside forces to keep the two of you faced outwardly, together. Against all obstacles – work, in-laws, friends, children, troubles.  If this slips, True Love is quick to forgive and forget and move on.  It really is you and them against the world.

Sometimes it is important that all the focus be on the other person for a time.  Sometimes you have to set yourself on a back burner for the other person’s needs to be met.

True Love isn’t “me, me, me” and “me first.”

Sometimes one of us makes a mistake and has to say, “I’m sorry.” (It’s usually me.)

True Love accepts an apology with grace.  True Love never keeps score and never says, “Well, you should be sorry.”  And True Love says:  “I’m sorry” (period, no reasons or excuses).  Or “I’m sorry I hurt you” not “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt.” Huge difference there.

Sometimes it may seem as if one person is constantly repeating themselves while the other person doesn’t ever quite seem to get it.  Yes Babe, you know what I mean.  I love that you put the dishes up – incredible – but that putting up is often very… creative.

True Love never gives up and does keep trying to get a point across.  (Baby, do you know where the colander is?  I love that you put dishes away but I need to know where. )  Smile.

Sometimes there may be times when one mate may seem “less than perfect” or “less than the dream guy/gal you married” or might even screw up somehow and show he/she is a human being.  That’s when you hear, see and speak no evil.

True Love always, always expects and looks for the best in the other.  True Love cuts some slack.  True Love ignores anything it needs to and never points out a fault.

True Love NEVER talks to their girlfriends (or dude buds) about their loved one.  Never, never, ever.  Get me? NEVER. You have no idea how much damage you do when you go outside your marriage like that.  It is a betrayal.

For sure, True Love is patient and knows one must face that they themselves are -*sigh*- not perfect either.  Do not focus on perceived bad points!  Truly hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.

Sometimes we have to face that we may hurt one another.  There may be tears (me) or growling (him).

True Love forces oneself to realize that the other never meant to hurt, nor is it on purpose.  True Love faces that one might be having a snit fit ’cause one got ones feelings hurt and needs get over it.  One is not telling who this one is.

 

Dance a lot! Laugh even more!

Dance in unusual places! Yes, even parking lots. Hear your fave song over the speaker in the grocery store? Slow dance in the aisle.  It just doesn’t matter because it is fun… unless it is the 15th and the entire world is in the store shopping.  Then people might fuss instead of smile at you.

Sometimes you just can’t have a serious conversation.  Sometimes you have to roll on the floor laughing (but maybe not in the grocery store)… at the same old jokes, punch lines and movie lines as if they were fresh and new.

True Love dances and laughs together.  Deep, amazing belly laughs.  The kind that make you cry because your stomach hurts and you squawk, “Stop! Stop! Stop! My jaw aches and my stomach hurts!”  Take time to enjoy life – really enjoy it – together.

Sometimes we get a bit busy and miss some… umm, shall we say, personal time?

True Love makes sure the most important focus in your life is your mate.  Above all others.  True Love quickly gets back on track and makes sure that the personal time meter is running into overtime.  No, zip, nada, nyet, zilch, NO excuses.  Seduce one another often.

Probably, with the exception of this last point coming up, our personal burn-up-the-sheets and boil-the-water-in-the-swimming-pool time is our most important detail in keeping our marriage growing better and better.  Never, ever losing the intimacy.

Last and most importantly in and to our relationship is that we never forget that above all and always, God is #1 in our relationship with one another.  There are three in the marriage and that is truly what makes it what it is.

True Love knows where True Love comes from.

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True Love Ways, Buddy Holly