MAN it’s been a long haul, up and down, down and up for this 10 pound weight loss goal, and I’ve been a psycho-kitty (just saying I’m unbalanced, bwahaahhaahaa).  Focused, scattered, mad, glad, sad, amazed, freaked, breaking rules, dumb, happy, thrilled, angry, stupid, unhappy, eating right, not eating right, learning, plateauing, stuffing, weighing foods, avoiding scales, living on the scales, and just in general:

AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

However, I am happy to report that, much to my surprise, I finally broke down. I tiptoed in, snuck up on and slipped onto the scales after a week or so of avoiding them, and:

I experienced a miracle. 

Somewhere in between all the fretting, worrying, feeling like a failure, eating wrong foods (none of your business Alpha Hubby.  Ah ain’t talkin’), not weighing the food, eating off one more card than I was supposed to (Deal a Meal), and thinking I will NEVER NEVER EVER break this 10 pound sticking point, this morning – ahhhh, this morning, I said to myself, “Get on the scale and see where you are and deal with it” – and I had not only lost the 10 pounds, I was 2 pounds under that.  Wow.

But here’s the thing – I NEVER stopped Sweating to the Oldies (and also got some time in the pool playing around).  I finally found something I would stick to, exercise wise.

But I also imagine where I’d be if (1) I hadn’t eating a few wrong-for-me-right-now foods and (2) learned a lesson or two sooner.

Oh YES I celebrate this victory – but I also need to focus on what it is that causes me to sabotage myself right before reaching a goal.  THAT is the question – why:  Why do I do this to myself?  Why do I undermine my own plans and goals?  Why do I let the scale, an inanimate object, rule my life like a dictator?  Why do I not always do the things I know to do?  Why do I have a chocolate urge every now and again?  Why do the birds keep on singing?  Oh, sorry, oldies song…

When I have the answers, I’ll let you know – that is, when I WANT to let you in on my inner workings – to be transparent, honest, and totally OUT there.  I pretty much know the answers but do I want to share them? We’ll see. It might be pretty ugly, these secrets inside that manifest on the outside.

In the meantime, here’s my tip for the week – DON’T STOP MOVING.  No matter what, exercise, exercise, exercise.  Move that body – push it beyond where you’ve been.  If you walk to the end of the block and back?  Aim at walking it twice.  If you take the elevator?  Try at least one floor of stairs, then when you’re done wheezing, huffing and puffing, take the elevator the rest of the way.  Park a wee bit further from the mall doors and walk to that candy shop (NO! Don’t do that, just kidding!!).  Just don’t sit there!  Get on offa yo feet and DANCE! DO something! Mooooovvvveeeee!

I am now going to go work on my NEXT 10 pound goal. Whoo hoo! V-I-C-T-O-R-Y that’s the way we spell… don’t eat ‘da pie!!