Do you ever wondered why you “fall off the wagon” when it comes to dieting, or changing any bad habit you want to change? Obviously, when one is working to get back into a Little Black Dress, it would behoove them to discern why they keep falling off the wagon.  (Wasn’t that a professional sounding sentence there?)

I was sort of hoping that I could report to you, “Well, you see, there is this little evil troll and every time I get near to making something a good habit, he comes to the back of the wagon, pushes me off, commands the driver to stop, to back up and to run me over a few times, and that is really why I keep falling off the wagon.”  I know what you’re wondering.  You’re wondering, “Can that possibly be true?”

Well, no.

I *think* the truth is, I JUMP off the wagon, gleefully, thinking I’m going to really enjoy my time in the wagon ruts.  I don’t.  Oh sure, for that moment in time, I truly do enjoy wallowing around in the ruts eating whatever it is I’m not supposed to be eating right now – chocolate, bread, too much of any given food – or maybe not exercising.   But later – be it moments or the next day – I always end up thinking, “Was that really worth it?”

And the answer always NO NO NO!  I always look back and think, “Man, all that ground I gained is now gone.”  And I feel awful and don’t like myself.  It becomes a downward spiral into more wrong eating habits or not getting off my bum and moving around.

PHEW – this sure sounds depressing and a big FAT downer posting, doesn’t it????

Well, it’s NOT.   My son is getting married in Vegas in September.  I started looking at the hotel we plan to stay in and realized it’s pretty high end.  There are places and shows I’d like to see and I don’t want to physically look then like I look now.  I don’t want to be wearing fat clothes.  So I have two choices here.  Keep jumping off the wagon, wallowing in the ruts then wondering why I keep doing that OR – and this is a really big OR – I could – *gasp* – this is such a novel thought – I may not know why I’m jumping but I could…

just…

quit…

JUMPING! 

I could enlist help that gently reminds me in a week or so that I’m still on the wagon and to stay there.  I could mark on the calendar or post on the fridge, “NO wagon jumping today.”  I think by reminding myself that I tend to jump about 2 weeks into any given program or habit-change, I will be more aware that the big jump is coming and then just NOT do it at all. 

I usually find myself in the ruts after I jump and THEN think, “AGAIN? I’m here again? Failing again? Blew it again? Ugh, what am I doing here again?”  So how about an early warning system?  Big siren, flashing lights, megaphone voice, “Step away from the edge of the wagon.  You are about to jump.  M’am, just step back and get in the seated position.  Do NOT jump.  Jumping is not going to happen today, lady, not on my watch.”

I know all the destructive emotional reasons not to jump.  I know one is supposed to have goals that will magically keep them on track because they want them so badly (yeah, right, like THAT has worked).   I think by simply reminding myself that I do jump at around the same time each time, and keep it in the forefront of my mind, I might just NOT jump.

Staying on the wagon beyond that normal jumping point would be a really, really good thing!