Alpha Hubby and I learned a long time ago that if we want to remember something important, write it down.  This includes everything from shopping items to to-do lists.

And, as you know, we also indulge in notes to one another.  You may recall this one?

This was from a post about what helps a couple have “forever.”  And, of course, he answered correctly.  I have learned it helps to keep the choices very simple.

But there are days… days when I wish I was Ralph Kramden and he was Alice and I could say, “One of these days, Alice, one of these days.  BANG, ZOOM!  Straight to the moon!”

Don’t you go feeling sorry for him.  That’s what he wants.  And I mean, really.  Let me ‘splain.

The other night I was sitting in the living room, snuggled into my favorite chair reading.  Alpha Hubby had already gone to bed.  I finally realized I needed to head to bed, too, so I got up, picked up my tea cup, and caught floor movement out of the corner of my eye.

Floor movement is NEVER good.  There are a plethora of reasons – mice (which we don’t have, thank goodness), big honking spiders (which I haven’t seen in a long time, also thank goodness), skunks (which I don’t EVER want to see again and wasn’t actually on the floor but in the ceiling), opposums (ditto)…

When it comes to some things, I am President of the Girly Girl Club and no one will ever make me feel ashamed of that.   I am a girly girl and darned proud of it.  Go ahead, open my door. I double-dog dare you.

So anyway, I caught the tail end of… a tail?  I was suddenly praying it was a tail because if it was a skinny snake, we were gonna have big trouble in the old midsouth tonight.  I hate snakes worse than anything.  I stepped over enough to see what it was.  THIS is what it was:

Yes, that is a lizard.  He apparently thought the grass was greener on the inside and came in under the temporary glass door to the driveway.  He headed under the big leather couch.  I stood there debating whether to freak or not, but really.  After a falling skunk, this was child’s play.

As I always do when creepy crawly things come into my personal life space, I let Alpha Hubby know – I left a note so he’d (1) know there was a lizard in the living room, and (2) take care of it if he ran across it.   And the truth is, (3) he should wale up, get out of bed, tear up the living room, and get that wiggly thing OUT of my house.  Preferably NOW.

My note said, “There is a lizard in the LR – under couch.”  I added the word “small” for some reason.  I guess I wanted him to know it wasn’t a komodo dragon size or something.  Hey, it was late.

His snarky reply (just in case you missed it)?

Oh I’m so sure he thought he was clever.  Ha ha, honey.  Ha ha.

WHO, I ask you, has been in charge of getting rid of snakes, frogs, bullies, strange people, big spiders, mice, opossums, skunks, and the like, since we were married??  Yes, quite correct – Alpha Hubby.  It’s documented.  It was also in the small print on the marriage license.

I am not ashamed to say that I think men who have played in the mud, ridden their bikes into trees, gotten dirty, played with frogs, fought valiantly against all sisters, sent Valentine’s cards like the one above (yes, he did), and who act all macho and manly should be in charge of getting rid of all the vermin.  AND I do not think aforementioned manly man should make fun of the girly girl when she won’t and just can’t.

You’re gonna want some, sometime, baby.  You might want to be just a little bit nicer to me.


Keith Urban, Only You Can Love Me