The other day I was thinking about smoking hot sex.  Why, you ask?  Well – if you have to ask….

Just kidding.

Here’s da thang – Alpha Hubby and I have been married almost 17 years (shy 38 days) and our sex life is more smoking hot than ever.  Oh quit acting like I’m talking like a porno queen.  Married couples have smoking hot sex lives.  I know single people want to believe that the only way to have smoking hot sex is as a single person but that just ain’t so, Joe!!  I have a news flash for you – according to ALL the research I’ve read, married people have hotter sex and more of it.  Committed sex is far better.


So why am I talking about it?  Well, I’m not, really.  What I want to talk about is WHY we have smoking hot sex.  Oh stop that – I’m not talking private details.  I’m talking about remembering how it felt when you first dated and what was so wonderful about him – what made you run to answer the phone call from him.   And no, it wasn’t asthma; he really did make it hard to catch your breath because you were so infatuated with him!  I’m talking respect, honor and zipped lips. 

When I was single, I remember being at work during lunch breaks.  I used to listen to the married women talk about their husbands.  The things they said should have been left unsaid because they were private things.  They’d get off on things like what babies they were when they were sick.  I don’t think they realize how “I am so superior” they sound and it isn’t attractive (or true).


For some reason, women believe that when they get together with their girlfriends or female co-workers, it’s perfectly OK to bash their husbands or boyfriends.  It’s this “us women” against “them” thing and I, for one, HATE IT WITH A PASSION.  No woman is more important to me than my husband.

I’ve learned a really good lesson listening to these women.  It is not OK to bash, disrespect or otherwise ‘dis our man when we are with our girlfriends.  When we bash the man in our life, we cut off the smoking hot sex life cause you can’t have smoking hot sex with someone we disrespect.  Gossip vs. smoking hot sex, gossip vs. smoking hot sex.  No contest, baby!  It’s the smoking hot sex life I‘m sticking with!

Alpha Huby and I married at 40 so I didn’t want to end up with a boring marriage after waiting for him for so long (12+ years)!  During our first few months of marriage, we had many conversations about romance, passion and smoking hot sex.

We made a promise to one another that we would never fall into the bad habit of being roommates and we’d keep the honeymoon going for all our lives.  I know in the thrall of newlywed bliss most married couples think they will do this – but few actually do.  It takes work and most people get lazy about protecting their marriages.

Alpha Hubby and I had to learn the ways to keep the focus on one another and not everyone else or everything else.  We honor and respect one another.  I can tell you that in almost 17 years of marriage – 5,894 days – I have not one time spoken badly of Alpha Hubby to another person on this earth, ever.  I have never exposed what may be considered weaknesses.  He has done the same thing for me. 

He’s too valuable and precious to me as I am to him – and I want to keep it that way.

And… the smoking hot sex ain’t so bad, either!!!  I swear!*

*I Swear, song sung by John Michael Montgomery