(This is a post from 2013)

Next year (2014), Alpha Hubby and I will be married 20 years. T-W-E-N-T-Y years. I know that may not seem like a long time to those of you who have been married longer, but trust me when I say it is a joyous miracle for Alpha Hubby and me. So sweet.

I was looking for a song to fit a post I was writing when I came across this song, “We Must Be Lovin’ Right”, singer is George  Strait. I’d never heard it before but it completely explains our love affair.

Some folks got nothing but trouble
So little joy in their lives

I’ve listened to so many women talk about their significant others. Few of them talk about positive traits. It is almost always something negative, unhappy, or derogatory. How easy it is to look at our loved one with jaded, been-there-done-that eyes. It really is a choice to give them the mercy you expect them to give you.

But wherever we go, happiness follows
We must be lovin’ right

We made a pact when we married. We were determined to protect what we’d found. And when you wait as long as I did for this guy to find his trusty steed, then shine up his armor, then ride into the spooky old woods to find me – well, I sure wasn’t going to settle!

Alpha Hubby has this trait – he grabs live with both hands and chooses to enjoy it, is happy, wakes up in the same mood every day, and makes me join him. He refuses to let things get him down.  He has developed amazing faith that God is going to take care of us – and He has. Alpha Hubby has had a lot of loss in his life. He’s made the choice that life is precious, short, and to be enjoyed – now.

A few years back, I found these two pictures for Alpha Hubby’s birthday. They are a perfect description of what Alpha Hubby means to me.

It might be the way I adore you
Or the way that you hold me tight

He truly is my Knight in Shining Armour and I will never take that for granted. We work very hard to enjoy life to the fullest, to keep the intimacy fresh and alive (and often), to stop strife in the very beginning, and to ensure we always look at one another with eyes of love.

That last one is tougher than most people think – and yet easier than most people think. It is a habit you cultivate – to think the best of one another, instead of the worst.

Worst is default and so easy to fall into. It is harder to keep your mouth shut and grab your mind and say, “Stop that! We are not going down that thought-road” when it wants to catalogue all the wrongs it thinks the other person has perpetrated! Your mind is almost always wrong. Even if your mind wasn’t wrong, make a choice to cut your love some slack. They do that for you, more than you believe.

All our friends say love fades away with time
But I know they’re wrong
‘Cause they’ve never known
A love like yours and mine

We’ve had people say, “Oh, you guys are just so lucky.” LUCK has nothing to do with it. If you make a determination that love will NOT fade away with time, then it won’t. If you work to keep things fresh, to make sure the world doesn’t intrude all the time, or to ensure that other person stays #1 to you (and most importantly, they KNOW it), then it will be that fairy tale you dreamed of.

Your relationship is in your hands. You choose how it goes. You write the story of your love. ou write the fairy-tale ending.

So if the whole world goes crazy
Let everyone else fuss and fight
When all is said and done,
We’ll be the (blessed) ones
We must be lovin’ right

Alpha Hubby and I may bump heads, argue, holler, get very passionate about some things – but in the end, nothing is more important than being one instead of being right. He taught me that. I came from a family that went to war over who was right and who was wrong. I had to unlearn that ugly trait and learn a new one – love trumps all.

At the end of the day, will what you’re fighting over matter in 5 years? Ten years? Fifty years? If you want to get to fifty years, the answer better be NO! NO it is not important. Find a compromise and move on.

Do lovin’ right.