Recently, a commenter asked about my Christmas love story, “Is it really that way at your house or are you b.s.ing us all, blowing smoke? I want it to be real!”
I’ve had others say that I am not “telling all” and am only reporting the good things, ignoring the bad, like I’m living in a fairy tale, not real life. I know one woman who thought that since I wasn’t pointing out Alpha Hubby’s bad points, our major fights, days of not speaking, emotional and PMS issues, then I wasn’t “being real” – bleh.
I’ve got news for you, if “being real” that way means living that way, NO thank you, very much! When you’ve had as much drama in your life as Alpha Hubby and I both had before we met, you would know I was telling the truth when I say PEACE was (and is) the most important factor in our lives. Drama, oy vey!! The stories I could tell you!!
I don’t know if it is wisdom that comes with age, learning from mistakes, running out of bullets, or I really am living in a fairy tale – but leave me alone. I’m having the BEST time of my life!
Alpha Hubby and I are human (altho I do wonder about him at times). We are individuals with very strong opinions so, of course there are times of intense fellowship, discussion, growling. He used to tell me that he was drawn to my strength because his was such a domineering personality, he’d have dominated me had I been less strong. In his dreams, maybe.
No, he is an ALPHA in the truest sense of the word – leader of the pack, bossy, strong, protective, instinctively knowing what is best for us – and bossy, did I mention bossy? He howls at the moon, asserting his dominance to the world.
But I am a true Alpha mate – bossy, strong, protective, instinctively knowing what is best for us. I don’t howl at the moon though – we women know that is a chest-beating alpha male trait – we know it’s too doggoned dumb cold to stand outside and howl at the moon (ho ho)!!
And note that I didn’t say “leader of the pack”. There is a reason – there can be only one leader at a time and he can only be the leader if I allow him to. That is what so many women don’t understand – a man can’t lead unless the woman steps back and allows him to. Which means major big time trust. Which is another post.
This Alpha Man, the strong man who growls and roars and beats his chest, asserting his dominance – this Alpha Man is the same one who did something so amazing the first Christmas after we married, that it still takes my breath away to this day. This action sums up his love for me:
We had to go to a dinner-dance at the Country Club for his office party. He so wanted to impress me, to dance with me, to be the Knight he thought I needed, that he prayed and asked God to help him know how to dance. According to him, he had two left feet and he could not dance. He just wanted to slow dance with me because he knew how much I loved to dance.
When I say that was a very romantic night and we swayed, smoothly slow dancing to romantic songs sung by an excellent band, I mean it. It was amazing, as was he. I have never had someone care so much about what I enjoyed. And he is still doing that to this day – doing things just for me, because he loves me. I don’t know what is the matter with him, but I’m gonna keep him!
He has the most amazing sense of humor and he uses it against me. In the beginning of our marriage, whenever I’d get a head of steam going up about something, he’d crack a joke and make me so mad (because I wanted to stay angry). Every blasted time, I would end up laughing with him and we’d move on past whatever had upset me. Now I am very quick to laugh with him because I know he NEVER means to step on my independence, ability or strength. It is usually by accident.
Like the other evening. I was telling him about people who have mentioned they think our relationship is phony or that I am lying when I tell our stories. I realize what we have is rare – trust me. I hear the stories and read blogs where women are so busy tearing their husbands apart that I wonder how they stay married.
Alpha Hubby and I got to talking about how important peace is in our home and how much we have grown together as a couple – how we had this amazing love and relationship.
Then he looked over at me and said, “Yeah, I know. And as long as you are submissive, it will always be that way.”
He won’t see me again for a week.
That’s when his black eyes will clear up.
Juuuust kidding! I mean, he really did say that but he was joking and poking fun at me. Right, baby? Right??
We have something so special and wonderful, it’s no wonder that we protect it and ensure it stays that way. We work hard to keep it “days of heaven on earth.” I love him more than this:
And we all know THAT is a lotta love!