I did have this entire life mapped out – several of them, really. From the time I could dream, I was going to sing. I was going to draw. I was going to write. I was going to continue traveling (my entire childhood was spent moving). I was going to do great and mighty things. BE somebody.
I was gonna be a Star with a capital S. Well, at least in my own little world in my own little corner in my own little mind.
Somewhere along the way, things crept in (along with creeps) that sidetracked me, changed me, hurt me, directed me to different pathways, sent me careening down rabbit trails, shoved me over into ditches, ruining some things, creating piles of baggage for me to carry all my life, and life just plain did NOT go the way I wanted it to go. I was not the conductor of the music that was my life.
But if all those roads led me to Alpha Hubby… nah, can’t go down that particular road. I’d rather have found him BEFORE.
Before the creeps. Before the wrong changes. Before the hurts. Before the piles and piles and piles of baggage. Before the ditches, before the rabbit trails, before the pathways I should never have wandered onto. There were also some wicked bad wolves out there.
And yet… here came Alpha Hubby. He entirely blew off the baggage. He put some loving TNT under the piles and blew them out of the terminal. No more baggage claims for me – except for what he’s created in me (snicker).
He is a strong, determined and resourceful man when it comes to helping me be the best I can be. He has been my best source of support. He has helped me see myself, especially in a different way from what I had been seeing. He is full of amazing insight.
He IS the Biggest Baddest Wolf in my life. My best friend. He loves this quote, “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil because I am the baddest thing in the valley.” Huge paraphrase. One that pretty much exemplifies who he is.
But – I needed a Big Bad Wolf in my life. One who mates for life. One who takes on all evil demons, dragons and nightmares, and tears the throat out of them for me and with me. He’s bad. In a redeemed way.
Alpha Hubby swears he would have fallen in love with me in the sandbox. He swears we would have picked one another right away and could have bypassed all the garbage we both had in our lives.
I used to laugh at him and say, “My mama would have kept me away from a wolf like you.”
He just ignores that. He refuses to accept that we wouldn’t have fallen in love immediately as kindergarteners. He is probably right. He could have carried my coloring books and beaten up the bully girls for me.
So I am not a famous lounge singer. My art only hangs on our wall. My writing, I’m working on. Traveling? I’m stuck with short road trips right now but someday. Someday we’ll visit Ireland. Bora Bora. Romantic destinations. Someday.
So sure, my dream life was interrupted but my reality is far better than I dreamed. I never factored in a man who loves me ferociously. And I have to say that THAT is better than anything.
And
I still get to sing – to him.
I still get to draw – for us both.
And I get to write – for me!
I’m glad my dream life was interrupted by an Alpha.
Nan, honey, isn’t there a saying that says, you have to experience the bad so you can appreciate the good? There you go. Finally. After all the creeps comes your knight in shining armor, or better, your Big Bad Wolf! I love it! How wonderful to have this relationship with this wonderful man! How wonderful for you to come full circle and know that life interrupted led you to the state of contentment you’re now in. May it last you a lifetime, friend! 🙂
On some level, this makes me a little afraid that now that I’m married I don’t get to be a professional singer…
jk
See I told you in my description I don’t do lizards and you cofirmed it (evil demons, dragons, and nightmares). Lizards are not in the description and therefore not on my to do list! I would like to had the opportunity to carry your coloring books. So all I can do now is build shelves for your coloring books to go on. Come to think of it for the right price, for you BayBay I could become a lizard slayer (lizard whisperer).
As long as you’re a Nan-Whisperer, we’re good. I love my shelves that are sitting in my brand new office. You do me good, babe. Really, really good. Really.
I know sometimes the roads we travel to get to our TRUE destination is not easy … but if it was would we really know how wonderful our destination is?
You are an amazing person and are able to be compassionate, loving and understanding… because of all that you have experienced (good , not so good, and really not so good..) great post! xo HHL
I could have done without some of the garbage that came before Alpha Hubby. You are an amazing person, too, Miss C!
Uhmmm.
Wolves are HOT!
Sounds to me you got the cake and the icing, Nan.
Love ya-
Tracy
And I didn’t even have to bake the cake! My Wolf is very hot ’cause he loves me so wonderfully!
*sigh*. Every time I read your blog I want to run and squeeze my husband. You remind me of how powerfully he reached into my life and pulled me up out of self-deception. I used to be so “tough”. But really I was scared. and I needed a safe place to fall. He is that for me. And he keeps my tough-girl in check.
Thank you, Nan, for always reminding me that everyday with him is a reminder of our love;)
Go squeeze that husband – I can wait. I do understand that “tough” outer persona; I had it, too. I needed a safe place to be me and to live. Who knew how amazing it could be?
Oh sweet Nan, that was great! Eric says the same — he would have known that I was the One no matter when we met, even though he is enough older that it might have been illegal. HOWEVER, even though I worry that in our less mature and more selfish days we might have ruined what was meant to be, he believes, and that is enough for me. And I love the baddest thing in the valley quote. I can see that in Leland, even though i’ve only met him through your words and his comments 🙂
I am totally not surprised Eric says that, too. He and Leland seem to be a lot alike. He is so passionate about you, to burns my fingers to read your posts sometimes! HOT!
–Ohhh, that big bad wolf is
W O N D E R F U L.
Nan, I love coming over here because I can feel your comfort, contentment, and love flowing flowing flowing…
….and You. Inspire. Me.
to be a better woman and wife.
What a beautiful interruption. Xxx Many Kisses from MN.
You inspire me to live my life more fully and always be IN the moment; to just ENJOY and make my life the best I can. Many kisses back from AR!
A good man is good to find! I have often wondered if the superhero and I had met first what would have happened. Of course, I don’t think that was meant to be because we grew up in church together and never even talked one time that I remember! He was shy then. 🙂
Your Superhero shy? Somehow I find that hard to believe. He knew what he wanted when it came to you!
I needed a big bad wolf in my life too! That scripture requote was so funny. I can’t wait to tell my hubs that one. Love this song.
I love this song to – hard to believe it is Garth Brooks! And yeah, that scripture re-quote fits him to a T!
As usual you found a way to say it just right. I love that line “he’s bad. In a redeemed way.” That is what we all need! What kind of music do you like singing?
Blues, 40’s big band (the softer crooney ones) – my voice is more Karen Carpenter than Joan Jett!!