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Smokin’ Hot…


The other day I was thinking about smoking hot sex.  Why, you ask?  Well – if you have to ask….

Just kidding.  And if you’re wondering what it has to do with my LBD Journey – everything.  It is one major reason why I stick to it and will not quit this time.  I want to be able to breath during  look good for him.

Alpha Hubby and I have been married 15+ years and our sex life is smoking hot.  Oh quit acting like I’m talking like a porno queen.  Married couples have smoking hot sex lives.  I know single people want to believe that the only way to have smoking hot sex is as a single.  I have a news flash for you – married people have hotter sex and more of it according to all the research I’ve read.  Committed sex is way better.

What I want to talk about is WHY we have smoking hot sex.  Oh stop that – you guuuys!  Such dirty minds!!  I’m not talking private details.  I’m talking respect, honor, zipped lips, and remembering how it felt when you first dated and what was so wonderful about him.

When I was single, I remember being at work during lunch breaks.  I used to listen to the married women talk about their husbands.  The things they said should have been left unsaid because they were private things.  Women often speak disparagingly about their male counterparts, co-workers, and significant others – and cover it up with joking and laughter.  But it is still damaging.

For some reason, women believe that when they get together with their girlfriends or female co-workers, it’s OK to bash their husbands or boyfriends.  It’s this “us” against “them” thing and I, for one, HATE IT WITH A PASSION.  No woman is more important than my husband.

I learned a good lesson listening to these women – and watching some of them develop such disrespect for their husbands that they ended up divorced later down the line.  It is not OK to bash, disrespect or otherwise ‘dis our significant other when we’re with our girlfriends.  When we bash the man in our life, we cut off the smoking hot sex life (among other things like respect, trust, and communication).

We can’t have smoking hot sex with someone we disrespect.  The more we talk against our significant other, the less we really respect him.  Keep it up long enough and the next thing you know, we’re treating him like a roommate instead of our lover and best friend.

Alpha Hubby and I married in our early XX’s – what?  You thought I was going to tell you?  Nah.  Just suffice it that we married later than some other people.   It was very important to me that I didn’t end up with a boring, couch-potato, honey-do listing marriage after waiting for this Knight in Shining Armor for so long!  During our first few months of marriage, we had many conversations about romance, passion and smoking hot sex.  We made a promise to one another that we would never fall into the bad habit of being “just roommates.”  We vowed to keep the honeymoon going for all our lives.  Most married couples think they will do this in the throes of newly-wedness– but few actually do.  It takes hard work and most people get very lazy about protecting their marriages and mates.

Alpha Hubby and I had to learn the ways to keep the focus on one another and not everyone or everything else.  We have to honor and respect one another.  I can tell you that in 15+ years of marriage – 5,689 days – I have not one time spoken badly of Alpha Hubby to another person on this earth, ever.  I have never bad mouthed him or belittled him to anyone.  I have never exposed his secrets or what may be considered weaknesses.  He has done the same thing for me.  He has never bad mouthed me to other people.  Ever.

I know if I focus on something that irritates me and tell other people, pretty soon that is all I see about him and all I talk about.  I would soon forget any of his good points and all the wonderful things he does for me (like support me in my Little Black Dress Journey in ways over and beyond).  I would begin to focus on what I perceive that he isn’t doing for me instead of being grateful for what he is doing, and how wonderful he really is.  That’s why I don’t disrespect him in public (now, in private… just kidding).  He’s too valuable and precious to me – and I want to keep it that way.

And… the smoking hot sex ain’t so bad, either!!!

9 thoughts on “Smokin’ Hot…

  1. Good for you! My husband and I have been together almost 17 years now and we’re still madly in love and best friends to boot. We both NEVER speak about the other spouse to other people, and NEVER discuss S.E.X. with anyone but each other. It’s how we live our lives and what we believe in 100%. Let me tell you ladies, it works. Peace. 🙂

  2. I am stopping by from SITS and THANK GOD I DID!!! oooh how I love smokin hot sex with Mr. Insatiable. I love the idea that your intimacy levels (not just physical) are in detriment when you utter such thoughts to others…it does breed a fire that unfortunately leads to you feeling ashamed, when you should do a Patsy and “stand by your man“.

    Thank you for such a great idea and from someone who is going on 7 years of marriage, it`s great to know that Roommates are for college and SHS is still in style!



  3. Happy Saturday Sharefest.

    I’m really glad I popped over here today, this is a great post and so very true! I try very hard not to say anything negative about my husband, I think it’s important to show a united front to other people, plus it’s dis-respectful. I know I would be upset if he said negative things about me to someone, so for me to do the same would be hypocritical. We talk to each other about any problems and it works for us!

  4. Good luck getting into the LBD! Your post is why you are still happily married after 15+ years.

    I have never badmouthed my husband to anyone and never will. Good for you to put this out there. We should all have a little more respect for those we love.

    Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest.

  5. This is a great post. I can’t claim to have never talked down my hubby in a fit of outrage or disappointment, but it’s certainly something to aspire to. We do need to protect our relationships and stay focused on what’s positive and loving as it’s too easy to enter a negative spiral that’s hard to come out from. Thanks for sharing.

  6. Visiting here from SITS and I’m so glad I did!

    How sweet! I agree with Elizabeth. We often forget that the spontaneous sex days BC (before children) rarely ever happens anymore. I love and respect my husband but I often get into the ‘dis-ing thing with my girlfriends. I can’t help myself, though. It’s like venting, but I after reading your post, maybe it’s more damaging than that.

  7. You go girl!!!
    You are awesome and he must be awesome too.

    My fiance and I have been together 10 years and we are constantly looking for new ways to spice our sex lives.
    People my age sometimes forget that good sex just doesn’t ‘happen’. You have to feel good about yourself and most of all feel SEXY! By staying on the journey to the little black dress……. I feel sexy and that attitude rubs off on him.
    Great point Nan!

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