Frogus Interruptus

May 31st, 2011

So, living in the idyllic country has its own set of challenges (like the ones above, outside my kitchen window).  I am pretty sure if I’d known about some of the challenges beforehand, things might have turned out differently in my life.  In fact… no.  I am not going to think in that direction since it really isn’t true.  I’d have loved him no matter who he is – cowboy or engineer.  I will just tell you my tale, my sad and haunting tale.  It will give you nightmares.

This past weekend, we participated in the “Official Opening of the Pool” for the year.  I know it has been more chilly than not, but it is fun to play around in the pool.  I love our swimming pool!


So it’s sunny, we’re swimming, playing and talking, sipping our drinks in plastic cups, lazily fighting off the flies.  The CD player is pounding out “Loretta Lynn’s Lincoln” then romantically wooing me with his new fave song, “Would You Go With Me” by Josh Turner and the water was fine!

Soon, I’m leaning up against the side of the pool, balancing and sitting on my boogie board, and just enjoying peace.  Suddenly Alpha Hubby popped up under my straw hat and stared intently into my eyes.  He said, “I really love you.”

I replied, ‘I really love you, too.”

He grinned and said, “I really lust you.”

I laughed and we kissed. 

Yep, the Official Opening of the Pool was on.  Oh, get over yourself.  We’re married.  It’s allowed.  Kid out of the house.  Life is good.  Time to play, baby.

Soon we’re both floating around on our boogie boards when I spied something over his shoulder.  I exclaimed and pointed, “What is THAT? What is it? What?”

“Where?”  he calmly looked around.

“THERE, over there,” shakily pointing because I am NOT getting any closer, “on the side of the pool, over there.  Is that a…”

I probably sounded a bit freaked.  Well, no, actually I was freaked.  It was a spider the size of a silver dollar on the edge of the pool.  Ugh.  Alpha Hubby rescues me, killing the spider, and we get back to smooching and floating.

Soon the sun has gone down and floating & kissing became more… personal.  Let’s just say, it’s not your beeswax.  Bodies float and boogie boards are good.


… he reaches up, saying ‘Hold still.”  I HATE THOSE WORDS.  It’s never good news for me.  Hold still means I don’t want to know what he’s seen and I shiver when he uses those words.

He flings something away and I’m thinking, “Oh, a fly, leaf or water bug or something innocuous.”  Until I hear the plopping sound.  Not even spiders have enough weight to make that sound in the water.

Tiny voice, “What was it?” (Not that I really want to know).

I can tell he hates to tell me, but he bravely does.

“Tree frog.  Riding on your shoulder.”

“OH MY GOSH! Ewwwww.  Ugh.  I knew it had to be something I didn’t want to know about because of the noise it made hitting the water.  He’s still in here, isn’t he? You didn’t even get him out of the pool, did you?”

“Nope, I didn’t.  Sorry.”

“Oh no, no, no!  WHERE is he?  WHERE?”

“Over there somewhere,” pointing toward the side of the pool nearest to ME.  Now I am totally unfocused, except for sneaking peeks over to the side of the pool.

Then he laughs under his breath and says, “Well, this rendezvous is over, isn’t it!?”

Oh yeah, baby.  I can’t get out of that pool fast enough.  He told me later he was surprised I hadn’t crawled up his chest and jump off his shoulders to get out of the pool.  I don’t like spiders and snakes… err frogs. 

Needless to say, the Official Opening of the Pool isn’t quite completed but it will be awhile before I trust the pool in the dark again.  A long, long while.  Looooong unless you get me spotlights, shining everywhere!

And you don’t EVEN want to hear about the tiny frogs, my mom’s toilet in the middle of the night and the fact you didn’t dare get up in the middle of the night without turning the bathroom light on.  NO.  We are so NOT going there.  I’ve tried to erase those memories.  I’ve had therapy.Did I tell you living in the country has its own share of freaky deaky challenges?  Well, it does. 

… and that ain’t what it takes to love me… like I wanna be loved by you!  Now I’m not even sure the edge of the sea can get me to go with you!  Ewwwww!

Spiders and Snakes, Jim Stafford

Would You Go With Me, Josh Turner

28 Responses to “Frogus Interruptus”

  1. Eva Gallant says:

    As hot as it was here yesterday, I would have been willing to share pool space with your frog!

    Isn’t having a pool the greatest thing??? I have lived in three houses that had pools. It’s been a few years since I’ve had one, but I still miss it.

    Just stopped by from SITS to say hello. I’ve visited before, but it’s been a while. Hope you will return the visit.

  2. Cate says:

    Hahahahaha – you are such a crack up Nan!!

    Ah well “official opening” will have to wait a day or so……
    Cate recently posted…Project 2011 wk 23My Profile

  3. The frog wouldn’t have bothered me but the spider – EEEwwwwww! However, it seems like the frog was getting a little personal, on your shoulder and all! Were the deer watching, too? LOL
    bluecottonmemory recently posted…Tippy Tap Blogaversary and AnnouncementMy Profile

  4. keri says:

    Hello there. I just popped in to say thank you so much for coming to my blog via SITS the other day. I’m flattered that you took the time to comment.

    Love your story here about bugs and frogs and country living. I know what you mean. I’m a city slicker from Los Angeles now living in rural Georgia on an old 2 acre farm house built over 130 years ago. Sounds romantic, but it’s not. Snakes, snails, turtles, mice, turkey, deer, coyote, hawk, armadillo, weasel, and every kind of bug and spider you can imagine. No pool and no hubby though…

    You sound like a lady who is a lot of fun and I FLIPPIN LOVE THAT! Hope you come back to ACWYS soon. I’ll be here frequently and will follow. Take care, Keri
    keri recently posted…SITSTA DAY!My Profile

  5. Amanda says:

    What a spoil to your romance! The spider would have done me in, I would have resituated the lust affair inside! Frogs? I don’t mind them (unless they are poisonous?), but I can respect that they can give you the heebie jeebies. They are slimy, after all. At least they eat bugs (so do spiders, but whose counting?). Perhaps you could “open the pool” when it is still light out…

  6. C.L says:

    So I guess an eco Caribbean vacation is out of the question huh? lol
    C.L recently posted…Weigh In Part 2 Magic Number ReceivedMy Profile

  7. Rachel says:

    Hahaha, great story! Found you through the SiTS girls, glad I did!
    Rachel recently posted…Hey Diva- Your Understudy Would Like a WordMy Profile

  8. Blond Duck says:

    That’s such a cute story!

  9. I so agree that “stay still” are two of the scariest words!
    I had a inground pool in the country in Connecticut but by the time the water warmed up enough for me to get in it, it was time to close the pool for the season!
    We also looked out one time and saw a deer splashing around in it. As we were frantically trying to figure out who to call, the deer found the steps, walked out, jumped the fence and was gone! Not what you expect to see in your pool!

    If you get a chance, stop by my blog on wednesday, I have a blog hop just for us boomers.
    Ann @ CreativeBoomer recently posted…Really! You had to whisper that!My Profile

  10. You crack me up! Poor little frog! Not really, I would have been freaking out a bit. LOL At least you have a POOL though, Hunk doesn’t think I need one, he say we live on a lake we don’t need a pool…… I get FISH to swim with OH and Beavers…….sometimes deer and only once (so far) a bear (but he wasn’t swimming)…. Maybe a frog isn’t so bad after all…….

    And those little ones you speak of…they are always swarming around my hot tub! ewwwwwwwwww…….

    Yep country life is great……..even in Cali. haha

    Love ya Nanners…
    Mommas soapbox recently posted…SUMMER IN CALIFORNIA NOT SO MUCHMy Profile

  11. Leah says:

    AHHH!!! What a scary story. Nothing like a frog on your shoulder to kill the mood eh? THanks for stopping by my blog the other day, SITS is great huh?! I love your humorous stories!!
    Leah recently posted…back to lifeback to realityMy Profile

  12. Pam says:

    Love this! I am probably a freak for this, but frogs don’t bug me. I think they’re cute, so I’d probably have been trying to play with the darn thing. But spiders? Freak city. I’m terrified of them. Years ago, after my divorce, I was living in my house alone. When I saw a spider, I’d pick up my cat and put him in front of it so HE’D do something about it, since there wasn’t a man around. So I totally get it!
    Pam recently posted…Woogie-BoogieMy Profile

    • Pam, growing up we had crickets that would hang out in the bushes along our sidewalk and at night they would jump around and hit your legs occasionally as we walked to our front door….. Would have bothered me more if I wasn’t laughing so hard watching and listening to my mom jump, scream and run down the sidewalk. LOL
      Mommas soapbox recently posted…SUMMER IN CALIFORNIA NOT SO MUCHMy Profile

  13. Jayme says:

    I would enjoy nature so much more if it weren’t for all the creepy crawlies!
    Jayme recently posted…Decorating- Organizing- Twin-proofingMy Profile

  14. Followed you from the Lady Blogger Social… very fun. Thanks for sharing. Stacie
    Riley’s Smile recently posted…Special Opportunity for the Immokolee Community – letter from IHOPEMy Profile

  15. I dunno Nan. I ain’t been romanced like that in years. I may have just let that little froggie be. Just sayin….


  16. SarahK says:

    I. Hate. Frogs.

    I had one on our back stoop once b/c we emptied one of those bigger than anyone should really have blow-ups. Must’ve flooded out his home. Scared. Me. A. Lot.

    Excellent storytelling.

  17. Tracy Wilson says:

    oh wow- hahahahahahahahaha
    Tracy Wilson recently posted…A Recap and a HighlightMy Profile

  18. Cinnamon says:

    I love your pool too. Used to have one just like it a LONG time ago. Told my ex husband that if I had to live out in the middle of no where, I wanted a way to entertain myself while he was gone. I loved it. I used to find all kinds of creepy things in the skimmer in the morning….snakes, toads, mice. Thank goodness for chlorine or I’d never have gotten back in it.

  19. Irene says:

    O-M-G! I haven’t heard this song is YEARS! Wow, brings back memories.

    I guess you wouldn’t want to help me take the cover off my pool until I get all 6 billion baby toads out of there first, huh?

    We’re filling in the breeding pond this fall. Enough is enough.

    There’s always time to splash around at night!

  20. Sandy says:

    I guess I can consider myself pretty lucky. The only thing I get in my pool is dead mice. I scoop out 2 to 3 a week in the spring.

  21. Pamela says:

    GROSS. Frog toes on you! EWWW! Nightmares!! Creepy crawly skin feeling!!!!

  22. Merz says:

    Leave it to you to figure out a new use for boogie boards. Now I’ll never look at one the same again, ha! I loved this post. It didn’t go where I thought it was, that’s for sure.

  23. Alexandra says:

    I would have been out of that pool the instant I saw the spider. Jajajaja, no frogs either for me, the ones here in Puerto Rico are huge and nasty, blah. Don’t like frogs.

    But moving along the romantic part, that was beautiful a nice start to a romantic novel, wuju.

  24. OMG, and this post started out so ROMANTIC. Then the spiders & frogs wanted part of the fun.
    Nan, you continually make me 🙂 XXxx
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  25. Alpha says:

    Baybay, I am scarier than anything in those spooky old woods or even the pool after dark. It was like that movie, “not this night or any other night!” Come back, baybay, I miss you.

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