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Head Over Heels And It Shows

03/23/2011

Alpha Hubby – how do I describe this man.  He says he isn’t deep, and I guess in a sense he isn’t if you mean he doesn’t play games or try to hide his feelings.  His love is all out there for me to see, if I make a point to see it!  I could have a problem believing he loved me because men and women tend to express love in different ways!

For the most part, women are far more verbal, saying “I love you” all the time, and men are far more demonstrative in the sense, “I go to work for this family” and “I fix things for you” and “Hey! I fill your gas tank for you!” and the like.  Men show. Women tell.  Men wish women would show (s.e.*).  Women wish men would tell.

As women, our biggest fault is falling for the fairy-tale lie that says he has to say it and express it by doing all sorts of romantic actions (as defined by either the fairy-tale, soap operas, movies, books, or whatever else is out there to fill our little minds with lies).  I’m here to tell you, if a frog says “Kiss me and I’ll change” you’re going to be stuck with… a smelly, noisy old frog.  He is either a prince charming or a frog – you ain’t gonna change him!

And women are so often trained that if is planned, it isn’t romantic. That everything has to be spontaneous and surprising. So men walk around scratching their heads with a “Who knows what women want” mentality and women walk around “He is so clueless.” Well DUH! If we don’t tell him, he won’t know. And NO it is not unromantic to tell him what you need.  He is not a mind reader.

OK, OK, I’m okay now. I just get so up in arms because I also fell for those sames lies and what a huge waste of time and potential that is!

Once I wrap my mind around the fact that Alpha Hubby showed his love for me in ways I didn’t think were romantic (sorry baby.  But I’m over that now!), then I started taking a better look at everything he does to show his love. That boy must be head over heels in diamond love with me! 

When I bought my former house back before we met, it was more a country cottage than a house worth living in. Oh, it was nice and I liked it but it didn’t have closets or storage, no dining room, the laundry room was off the carport (which made it coooold in the winter) and the kitchen cupboards were some awful things the former owner’s husband had made. Out of used wood. With knot holes in it. Can you say UGLY?  Oh, and no heat.  Unbeknownst to me, the former owner had also taken the gas heater with her AND told me the fireplace would heat the whole house through a ventilation system.  Ha. HA!  NOT.

By the time we moved to where we are now, the former house had a walk in closet-bathroom-makeup counter for me. It had pantries for all my cobalt blue things, a candle CLOSET (thankyouverymuch) for my tons of Yankee Candle candles and candle holders and stuff like that. It had a master closet for him.  Central air and heat.  A 400 sq ft enclosed sunroom. It had a fountain because I said one time how much I loved to hear water flowing.

Best of all? It had a flower garden (actually several). All because I told him a story of when I lived in Germany and the community garden was more flowers than vegetables – and how much I loved it.

There’s more there, but now he’s doing it here, too. Creating a pantry, remodeling to create a bigger kitchen, and on and on.  This is my favorite expression of his love – he took two small bedrooms and created my library.  Man, I love to read and I love my library!

Oh yeah, and he does verbalize his love, too.  Beautifully so.  And sends or brings flowers on my birthday.  Sends e-cards on Valentines day (like the one below).  I just wanted to make that clear.  There truly is nothing like pure and true love.

Lost in You, Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines

p.s. – one section of the candle closet taken after we’d begun packing so the candles are already packed.

52 thoughts on “Head Over Heels And It Shows”

  1. He definitely LOVES you. I know how you would like to hear it, not just feel it. I think I have the opposite problem, I have a dad who does to show love so you get used to that. But with my husband he tells me but mostly he likes to snuggle. Sometimes I wish he would build me something but I know when he does do to show me love, he REALLY loves me.

  2. He definitely LOVES you. I know how you would like to hear it, not just feel it. I think I have the opposite problem, I have a dad who does to show love so you get used to that. But with my husband he tells me but mostly he likes to snuggle. Sometimes I wish he would build me something but I know when he does do to show me love, he REALLY loves me.

  5. I’m visiting for the first time and love your blog. This post is so true. Sounds like you’ve got yourself a keeper – as if you don’t know that!
    Thanks for visiting me at Better is Possible. I really appreciated your comment(s).

  6. I’m visiting for the first time and love your blog. This post is so true. Sounds like you’ve got yourself a keeper – as if you don’t know that!
    Thanks for visiting me at Better is Possible. I really appreciated your comment(s).

  11. I love reading the messages on candy hearts- life used to be so simple, didn’t it?
    It’s wonderful to be in love, isn’t it?
    😉

  12. I love reading the messages on candy hearts- life used to be so simple, didn’t it?
    It’s wonderful to be in love, isn’t it?
    😉

  15. It’s been awhile so I have some catching up to do on your site but of course, again, you have great music. Sometimes I leave your page open and listen to the song or songs over and over. I want your library. Now. And I want to know where you learn all the things you do about relationships?

  16. It’s been awhile so I have some catching up to do on your site but of course, again, you have great music. Sometimes I leave your page open and listen to the song or songs over and over. I want your library. Now. And I want to know where you learn all the things you do about relationships?

    1. No. I started reading it but just couldn’t get into it. I’ve read a lot of books over the years but it finally got to the point where it was time to apply what I learned!

    1. No. I started reading it but just couldn’t get into it. I’ve read a lot of books over the years but it finally got to the point where it was time to apply what I learned!

  19. I’m a sucker for Yankee Candle and candle holders too! It’s almost a sickness. Can you say “TOO MUCH PARTYLITE”?

  20. I’m a sucker for Yankee Candle and candle holders too! It’s almost a sickness. Can you say “TOO MUCH PARTYLITE”?

  21. It just seemed like the thing to do for a damsel that was certainly in distress. You make me want to do for you because you are not demanding and you are always appreciative of the efforts even if it goes south. “She said, I don’t like spiders and snakes and that ain’t what it takes to love me.” Just a side trip there but to go on: you don’t get upset when I have to stop putting your new kitchen floor in to gp put up a wall and mote between us and the neighbors cattle so ours won’t mix with theirs. I appreciate that you don’t put stress on me.

  22. It just seemed like the thing to do for a damsel that was certainly in distress. You make me want to do for you because you are not demanding and you are always appreciative of the efforts even if it goes south. “She said, I don’t like spiders and snakes and that ain’t what it takes to love me.” Just a side trip there but to go on: you don’t get upset when I have to stop putting your new kitchen floor in to gp put up a wall and mote between us and the neighbors cattle so ours won’t mix with theirs. I appreciate that you don’t put stress on me.

  27. I would have just stood for hours at the candle closet and sniffed away…… I LOVE LOVE LOVE candles….. in fact you sent me one of those yummy candles!

    1. I loved walking into the candle closet – my favorite room. The scent would overwhelm me and remind me of the visit to the flagship Yankee Candle store in MA – overwhelmingly wonderful! Now my candles are on that little jag of a shelf at the end of the row. Not quite the same but if I get close enough, I can catch the scent!

  28. I would have just stood for hours at the candle closet and sniffed away…… I LOVE LOVE LOVE candles….. in fact you sent me one of those yummy candles!

    1. I loved walking into the candle closet – my favorite room. The scent would overwhelm me and remind me of the visit to the flagship Yankee Candle store in MA – overwhelmingly wonderful! Now my candles are on that little jag of a shelf at the end of the row. Not quite the same but if I get close enough, I can catch the scent!

  33. I always learn something when I read your posts. I guess I had not put it together than men really do show more than they tell. It changes how I look at my boyfriend now. That is Garth Brooks?

    1. Yes, that is Garth Brooks; he made an album as Chris Gaines just playing around – I loved this song.

  34. I always learn something when I read your posts. I guess I had not put it together than men really do show more than they tell. It changes how I look at my boyfriend now. That is Garth Brooks?

    1. Yes, that is Garth Brooks; he made an album as Chris Gaines just playing around – I loved this song.

  35. This was great! I can’t believe that is Garth Brooks singing. And I covet your library. Did you fill the shelves? I need to remember this more, that Superhero is showing me his love all the time.

    1. The shelves are so full, I had to reconsider keeping some of my books. He has another set ot shelves to put on the wall to the left (facing window) which will go over my couch and have lights under it, so I can lounge and read.

  36. This was great! I can’t believe that is Garth Brooks singing. And I covet your library. Did you fill the shelves? I need to remember this more, that Superhero is showing me his love all the time.

    1. The shelves are so full, I had to reconsider keeping some of my books. He has another set ot shelves to put on the wall to the left (facing window) which will go over my couch and have lights under it, so I can lounge and read.

  37. Last night, I started to load the dishwasher. Eric said, “I’m going to do that.” I kept doing it, because he was helping his daughter with something. “I said I AM GOING TO DO THAT!” he said, and pointed for me to leave the kitchen. Not because I had something I needed to do (probably fart around on internet and comment blogs), but because he knows I had been touching a) raw meat and b) dirty dishwater, both of which I do a lot — we all do, right? — but he takes it away from me every time he can. And he doesn’t have to say why. 🙂

    You are awesome, Nan. Thanks for making us remember to be grateful today.

  38. Last night, I started to load the dishwasher. Eric said, “I’m going to do that.” I kept doing it, because he was helping his daughter with something. “I said I AM GOING TO DO THAT!” he said, and pointed for me to leave the kitchen. Not because I had something I needed to do (probably fart around on internet and comment blogs), but because he knows I had been touching a) raw meat and b) dirty dishwater, both of which I do a lot — we all do, right? — but he takes it away from me every time he can. And he doesn’t have to say why. 🙂

    You are awesome, Nan. Thanks for making us remember to be grateful today.

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